38. Ticklish

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When Castle woke up the next morning her side of the bed was empty and cold and his heart sank, memories of their first night together rushing back to him. She had been gone that morning as well and he had been left behind with an emptiness he wasn't able to explain until he had met her again. It was like that morning all over again, just worse. She had changed her mind, he was sure of that and was cursing himself for being so stupid. He knew she had been vulnerable last night, her defences low and they just shouldn't have discussed an important matter like the status of their relationship when she was still emotionally shaken from the day's events.

He growled into the empty room. Last night had just been too good to be true. When would he ever learn that what he had to offer was never enough? Didn't they always change their minds? Kyra, Meredith, Sophia, just every woman he had let close enough and yet he had thought Kate was different.

He heard laughter coming from the living room, distracting him momentarily from his dark downward spiral and grabbing a robe he stepped into his office to see what had his daughters up so early.

He found them sprawled on the living room floor, Alexis, Jamie and Kate, giggling.

Putting on a fake smile he walked over to see what was so funny, "Hey what's up?" he asked as he stopped in front of them.

"Kate's ticklish," Alexis exclaimed, already rolling over to attack Kate again, who tried to squirm away with a shriek.

Castle saw Alexis going for Kate's bandaged arm and he stepped forward, grabbing his daughter's arm before she could hurt Kate, "Alexis," he barked out louder than he had intended and saw his daughter wince, "be careful."

The girl retrieved her arm, sitting down close to Kate, her lips quivering as her eyes already filled with tears, "Sorry," she sniffed.

"Hey," Kate pulled her into her arms, "it's alright. Nothing happened."

She glared up at Castle, "What was that?"

Guilt was written all over his face as he kneeled down in front of Alexis, holding out his arms for her.

"I'm sorry Pumpkin," he stuttered. "I didn't mean to scare you, it's just that Kate has stitches on her arm and you guys need to be careful."

Alexis was still clinging to Kate and it broke Castle's heart, he had always been Alexis' go-to-guy when she was sad and now all of a sudden he found himself on the dark side.

"I know," Alexis sniffed, "Kate told us that she fell and that it still hurt a bit and I was careful all the time," she looked up at Kate for confirmation, "wasn't I?"

"Yes you were, Alexis," Kate confirmed, her voice soft while she shot another glare at Castle. She had never seen him like this. But the tortured look on his face told her he already felt miserable enough, so she gave Alexis a gentle nudge, "But I'm sure your dad didn't mean it."

"I'm sorry Pumpkin," he said again and this time Alexis went into his open arms, her small arms wrapping around his neck as he pulled her close.

"I didn't hurt Kate," she sobbed, the early Sunday morning drama being a little too much for the girl.

"I know," Castle whispered, cradling her against his chest, "I know. I was stupid. I'm sorry."

Jamie stumbled into her mother's side, studying her sister and her father, before looking up at Kate, "Lexi sad?" She asked worried, crawling into her mother's lap, grabbing for her hands.

"It's all good, Baby Bird," she muttered, kissing her on top of the head, "Daddy just scared her a little."

"What was that about?" Kate asked him, after she had followed him into the kitchen while Jamie and Alexis were yet again playing on the floor.

"I said I was sorry," he growled still mad with himself for losing it like this in front of his daughters. He scared them, both of them and even though he was hurt it was unacceptable.

"Hey," she reached for his hand, forcing him to turn around and look at her while at the same time stepping into his personal space, a move that surprised him. "What's wrong?" She asked, her thumb stroking softly over his knuckles, and her voice was so gentle that he suddenly feared he might have had it all wrong.

"You were gone this morning," he blurted out and was already feeling like an idiot.

"I was out here playing with the girls," she stated confused. "What ... ," and then it dawned on her as she murmured mainly to herself. "You thought I was gone."

He nodded.

"Castle no," she shook her head and then she pulled him with her towards the dining room table where the girls couldn't see them. She turned and he still looked so miserable that she saw only one option to make him believe that she wasn't running or regretting anything that had happened last night.

She reached out, cupping his cheeks and pulling him down for a kiss, her lips leaving his all too soon, but she didn't want the girls to see them like this, not yet, so she held on to his hands instead, her body shielding the gesture from the girls' view.

"I'm here, okay?" She whispered as she saw the light slowly returning to his eyes. Obviously she wasn't the only one with issues in this relationship or whatever they called what they had now.

"Okay," he sighed. "I'm sorry. I overreacted."

"I meant what I said last night," she added. "And yes, you overreacted, so you better think of something fun to do for all of us to make it up to Alexis."

She gave him a smile and he finally found his own again, "I will."

"Good and we should talk about how we want to handle this," she licked her lips, "us."

"Yeah," he pulled one hand free, letting it run through his hair, "Yeah, that would be good. We wouldn't want a repeat of," he sighed, "well of whatever possessed me this morning."

"No we don't." Kate shook her head.

"Okay," he grabbed both her hands again, "okay. How about we, I mean since we never made it to dinner yesterday, how about we do that tonight? And since you don't have to work tomorrow you and Jamie could stay over."

She shot him a look and he stopped his rambling for a second.

"In the guestroom," he hastily clarified. "So we could talk once the girls are in bed."

She looked at him, the nervous expression on his face, making him look boyish and younger and yes, she could admit it now, adorable, "That sounds good," she finally put him out of his misery.

He quickly glanced over her shoulder, making sure the girls were still occupied, before pulling her close and kissing her again, leaving her slightly dizzy when he let go of her and returned to the kitchen.

"I'll make pancakes," he announced loudly and the girls shrieked happily in the living, already moving over to tell him what toppings they wanted while Kate still tried to wipe that dreamy expression he had left her with off her face.

They drove over to Kate's apartment after breakfast so she could change out of her clothes from the day before and take a quick shower while Rick kept the girls occupied in the living room.

At least that was the plan until Kate stuck her head out of the bathroom door and called for him.

"Castle, could you come over here for a second?"

Castle got up making sure the girls would be fine for a minute and then made his way down the hall.

"What's up?" He asked stopping in front of the bathroom door, surprised when Kate opened the door to let him in.

"I need your help," she explained, holding out her bandaged arm and a plastic foil. "They gave me this waterproof stuff but I can't get it on myself."

"Okay," he swallowed nervously, because she was standing in front of him in only her underwear, "let me see."

He reached for her arm, his hands trembling as he wrapped the foil gently around her bandage.

"You have seen me in a bikini before," Kate stated amused.

"That - that was different," he stuttered, trying very hard to concentrate on his task. "There you go, all done."

"Thank you," Kate said, inspecting his work. "This will be a bit annoying for the next week."

"Mmh," he nodded, before looking at her with a question in his eyes, "So you fell?"

Kate sighed, "They don't need to know, okay? I don't want them to get scared, Jamie already has bad dreams I don't want it to get worse."

"Okay," he simply agreed, "You fell."

She reached for his hand, giving it a squeeze in a silent thank you, a gesture that started to become significant for them.

"Stitches get out next Monday, right?" He asked, changing the subject and trying to distract himself from her very sexy body that was extremely close to him right now. Those toned long legs, her abs, the swell of her breasts in that dark blue silk bra, he swallowed and forced himself to look anywhere but at her.

"Yes, Dr. Davidson said it should be pretty much healed by then."

"Did he?" Castle said and the sarcastic tone in his voice didn't go unnoticed by her.

"What?" She looked at him. "He was nice."

"Sure he was," Castle huffed.

Kate laughed, "Castle, are you jealous?"

He just shrugged, surprised when she closed the distance between them.

"Well," she looked up at him, her arms sneaking around his waist, pulling herself closer, surprised how easy it seemed to be with him to be like this now, open, teasing and intimate, "he's not my type."

"No?" He pulled her even closer. "Who's your type?"

"Ruggedly-handsome single dads," she grinned.

"I'm not single anymore," he growled.

"Good," she breathed before closing the remaining distance between them and planting her lips against his. His hands roamed her naked back and he couldn't help but press his leg between hers, hearing her gasp and taking advantage of the situation, letting his tongue enter her mouth. She groaned, her hands suddenly in his hair, pulling him more fiercely towards her and Castle knew they needed to stop, because …

"Kate," he finally managed to get out, pulling away, "the girls."

She groaned, letting her head come to rest against his chest, "I know. I know." Gosh, they were horrible at taking it slow.

He gave her one last quick kiss before turning around and leaving her to take her shower.

When the door closed behind him, she leaned heavily against the sink, touching her flushed cheeks, shaking her head at herself, "Get some self control," she muttered to herself before finally getting out of her underwear and into the shower.

When she returned, Kate found him sprawled on the floor, Alexis sitting on his legs while Jamie was more or less trying to straddle his chest with her short legs.

"Stop, stop!" Castle choked out laughing, trying to free himself while his daughters were mercilessly tickling him.

"Kate!" He yelped when he saw her feet appear in the doorway, "Kate, help me!"

"Daddy, tickley," Jamie grinned up at her mom, the word ticklish obviously still a bit too tricky to pronounce.

"I can see that," Kate smirked, walking over to them and picking Jamie up in a swift move to free Castle at least from one of the little terrors. "And so are you," she added as she playfully tossed Jamie on the couch and started to attack her tummy with raspberry kisses.

"Mommy," Jamie shrieked, trying to get away, while Castle started his counter attack on the floor, Alexis trying to get away but he caught her foot and pulled her back against him.

They were all laughing hysterically within the next five minutes until Castle finally pushed himself off the floor, pulling Alexis with him.

"Enough, enough," he declared breathlessly before letting himself fall onto the couch next to Jamie and Kate, Alexis bumping into his side.

He grinned over at Jamie and the girl struggled out of her mother's arms, climbing over Castle's lap to snuggle up with her sister, both girls still giggling.

"Too much for you, old man?" Kate laughed, patting his knee to soften the blow and he would have been offended if her thumb hadn't been stroking his thigh longer than strictly necessary.

"I'm not old," he pouted, "just older than you."

"Well you know what they say about older men and wine, right?" She smirked at him, her eyes sparkling and he couldn't believe she was teasing him like this in front of the kids.

"What do they say?" Alexis asked from her father's side and he could see Kate's face turn red like a lobster.

"Yeah Kate, what do they say?" He smirked at her and knew she would like nothing more than to strangle him right now, while she tried to find a PG rated answer to that question.

"They need to breathe," she finally got out and Castle chuckled at her poor attempt to get out of the hole she had been digging herself.

"But we all have to breathe," Alexis frowned and Castle had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing out loud.

"That we do," he confirmed and felt Kate's elbow jabbing his side.

"They need more air than others, okay?" she finally muttered, getting up from the couch, "Anyway what's the plan for today?"

Castle followed her into the kitchen, grinning from ear to ear, while Jamie and Alexis stayed on the couch in the living room watching a cartoon that Castle had put on for them.

"I thought we could go swimming if that's okay for you. I'm not sure about your arm," he said, taking the cup of coffee she was holding out to him. "But they had so much fun in the Hamptons I thought it might be a good way to make up for my outburst this morning." All lightness disappeared from his face as he recalled the drama he had caused.

"Hey," Kate stepped closer, leaving her own cup of coffee on the counter, "she's fine. She probably already forgot about the whole thing." Her hand came up to caress his arm, running down until she caught his fingers, giving them a squeeze before she let go of them again.

He sighed heavily and knowing that their daughters couldn't see them, he wrapped her in his arms, burying his face in her neck, "Thank you, Kate."

It was new for him to have someone else than his mother be there with him for the parenting part and if he was being honest even his mother had mainly stayed out of his bringing-up-a-child-being-a-single-dad-methods. But it helped that Kate was there to calm his worries, make him see what was probably true, that his daughter had already forgotten about the incident.

"You know what I think?" She asked, raising one eyebrow at him.

"What?" He frowned.

"You just want to see me in that bikini again," she studied him with amused suspicion on her face. "Don't think I didn't see you ogling me."

"If I recall correctly, I wasn't the only one ogling that day," he challenged her right back and the blush appearing on her cheeks was a good enough answer for him.

"Touché," she mumbled, stepping back from him, biting her bottom lip. Everything seemed to be so easy between them, it almost scared her.

"Mine and Alexis' stuff is in the car so we could drive straight to the pool once you're ready," he told her, placing his now empty cup into the sink. "But only if you want to."

"I'll just bring a book and let you guys have all the fun in the water and I'll be careful, it will be fine," she reassured him. "And this is for Alexis anyway so give me ten," she said, rushing out of the kitchen to get Jamie's and her stuff together and Castle's eyes followed her with a grin, she sure was eager to get them into their swimsuits.

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