29. The morning after

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Despite the late night Kate woke early the next morning. She hadn't slept well, too many thoughts had kept running through her head after her talk with Castle. The same thoughts had her wide awake at seven in the morning, keeping her from getting further rest.

She hoped what she'd offered him last night had been enough, because there wasn't anything else left for her to give. She didn't think she'd had ever been as honest with anyone as she had been with him last night. It had scared the hell out of her but at the same time it had been liberating, all of it. And there were still butterflies when she thought about his words. It had been more than just a one-night stand. She hadn't realized how much she had needed to hear it, that he'd felt it too.

But she needed to focus on other things right now. She was aware that she would never be able to make up for the lost time, the two years she had kept father and daughter apart. Yet she hoped he believed her when she said she didn't do it because she didn't want him in their lives.

The rest would need time, she knew as much. She didn't expect him to just forgive her. There was work to do on her side. She needed to prove to him that things would be different from now on, that she was willing to hand over some of the control she had so fiercely grabbed hold of ever since Castle had entered their lives. But she was positive she had made a start by agreeing without hesitation to Castle's request to spend more time with Jamie.

But there was only one way to find out for sure and that was to face him. So she swung her legs out of his bed, already missing his soft sheets and sinful comfortable mattress and pulled the NYPD hoodie back over her head before walking out into the living room.

She found him in the kitchen preparing what looked like a breakfast feast and slowly on shaky legs approached him. Her heart was beating so wildly she found it hard to breathe.

"Hey," she finally got out so quietly she thought he might not even have heard her, but Castle immediately swirled around.

"Hey," he returned, a hesitant smile appearing on his face. "How are you?"

"Tired," she shrugged, stifling a yawn.

"Yeah, you were pretty much out for the past three days. I guess it will take a couple of days until you're totally back on your feet," he stated and they both fell silent, both unsure what to do or what to say. When the silence became too uncomfortable he came back to the one thing which had always worked for them, "Coffee?" He asked and saw her lips turn up into a gorgeous smile.

"I would love some coffee," she sighed contently and crossed over from the middle of the living room where she had still been standing to sit down on one of the barstools, watching Castle as he expertly prepared two steaming cups of coffee.

He placed the coffee in front of her, before leaning against the kitchen counter and taking a sip from his own cup.

She did the same and the groan that escaped her mouth made her blush, "This is excellent."

Castle just grinned, obviously satisfied with her reaction, before his face got serious again.

"Listen Kate," he pushed himself of the counter and stepped closer to her. She hoped it was a good sign. "I can't just pretend the last two years did not happen," he started nervously, watching her reaction. But to his surprise she held his gaze and nodded.

"I will need some time to come to terms with it," he continued.

"I know," she sighed. "I know." Her eyes dropped from his face to the cup of coffee in her hands.

"Hey," he leant his elbows down on the kitchen counter to level his face with hers and waited until she looked at him. "It doesn't mean it needs to be awkward between us. It will be alright, I just need some time."

"Okay," she finally nodded and froze when his hand covered hers, giving it a light squeeze and then giving her a soft smile.

Kate hadn't felt like this in a very long time, his touch did things to her it shouldn't and she realized with an almost overwhelming clarity, she could count on him. No matter how rocky things might have been between them or would be between them, she could count on him. She'd hurt him and still he had taken them in and had taken care of Jamie and of her. It meant more to her than she could possibly put into words.

The rest of the morning went by in a blaze, Alexis and Jamie keeping their parents occupied until Kate decided it was time to return to her own apartment.

She had just retrieved her bag from Castle's bedroom while he collected Jamie's stuff from upstairs when Alexis appeared at her side.

"Kate?" She asked, shy eyes lifted at the woman in front of her.

"Hey Alexis," Kate smiled warmly down at Castle's daughter, sensing that the girl wasn't sure how to get out whatever she wanted to ask.

Kate crouched down in front of her, knowing it always made things easier when one could see eye to eye, "What's up, Sweetie?"

With a big sigh Alexis started, her eyes fixed on the floor, "Can you and Jamie come to my birthday on Tuesday?"

Oh. Kate hadn't known Alexis' birthday was coming up.

"I'm sorry Sweetie, I'll have to work on Tuesday, but your dad can pick up Jamie and you can spend the afternoon together." She tried to end on a positive note.

Alexis nodded, but Kate could tell she was disappointed and didn't want to show it.

Reaching out, Kate tucked a strand of red hair behind Alexis's ear, she didn't want to see the girl sad, "Hey, we still have our pizza date tomorrow, right? And I don't have to work next weekend so if you want and it's okay with your dad we could all do something together. What do you say?"

Alexis eyes lit up, "We're still having pizza tomorrow?"

Kate laughed at the excitement Alexis showed over such a simple thing as having pizza together, "Of course," she nodded, "it's the least I can do after you took such great care of Jamie for the last couple of days."

Alexis beamed at her and then catching Kate totally by surprise threw her little arms around her, "Thank you Kate," the redhead mumbled into her ear.

"You're welcome," Kate mumbled back, pulling the girl close.

That's how Castle found them, when he appeared on top of the stairs, Jamie on one arm, her bag in the other, "What's up?" he asked surprised, lifting his eyebrows as he locked eyes with Kate.

Stepping out of his daughter's arms and standing up, Kate met his eyes, looking a bit shy, "I just told Alexis that we're still on for pizza tomorrow and since I have to work on her birthday I suggested we could do something on the weekend," she told him and added quickly, "if that's okay with you, of course."

Castle stared at her and for a second Kate thought she had screwed up, but than the biggest smile spread out over his face and she let out a deep relieved breath.

"That sounds great," he said, but then looked a bit concerned, "are you sure you're up for that already?"

That sweet man, she thought as she nodded. "As long as it's okay that we're ordering in."

"That's more than okay," he replied smiling, finally meeting them in front of the door, "Actually what do you say if Alexis and I bring the pizza with us?"

"Okay," she agreed, smiling back at him.

"Okay, let's get you guys downstairs then," he suggested, "the car should be already here and I also asked Charlie to get you some groceries so you don't have to worry about it until Monday."

"Castle," she sighed, "you shouldn't have -," but he waved her off.

"It's nothing," he shrugged and she decided to just accept his offered help without questioning it any further.

"Thank you," she sighed and then followed him out the door.

They said goodbye on the street, Castle handing Jamie over to her mother and then leaning in to give both Beckett girls a kiss on the cheek. Jamie giggled, while her mother blushed and quickly turned her attention to Alexis.

"See you tomorrow," she smiled, watching Alexis face lit up once more.

"Yes," Alexis grinned from ear to ear, while reaching for her dad's hand as the two Castles watched Kate and Jamie get into the car. They waved until the town car disappeared around the next corner, before making their way back in.

On Monday Kate was back at work, she still didn't feel 100 percent but felt good enough not to call in sick for another day. She had another special assignment with the guys from Vice on Tuesday which she didn't want to miss out on and which was also the reason she couldn't join Alexis for her birthday.

She and Castle had agreed that he would pick Jamie up after Kate's lunch break and then he and the girls would spend the afternoon together, celebrating Alexis' birthday and having dinner at the loft with Martha. Castle would drop Jamie off at Kate's apartment after that where Cynthia would be taking over until Kate returned from her Vice assignment. They had it all planned out and yet Kate felt oddly unsatisfied about the arrangement as she started to realize that she'd actually rather spend the day with Castle and the girls than working for Vice.

But she had agreed a while ago and she couldn't just call it off on short notice.

"Beckett?" Captain Montgomery called her name, suddenly standing in the squad room.

"Sir?" She looked at him questioning.

"A word," he ordered more than asked and she hurriedly followed him to the break room.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, studying her closely.

"I'm good," she replied, but her Captain could see right through her.

"You're not looking good," he stated matter-of-factly, not taking his eyes from her. She looked pale.

"I looked much worse last week," she tried to humor her way out of the interrogation, because that's what this was.

"Anyway, I pulled you off the Vice investigation."

"Sir?" She got out, shocked.

"Beckett, you've been sick in bed for a week. You still look out of it and there's no way I'm letting one of my best officers catch pneumonia on a windy street corner. I already informed Detective Gregson that you won't be available."

"Captain -," she tried again, but he stopped her with one hand in the air.

"This is an order, there will be other assignments for you," his tone left no room for arguments.

"What will they do?" She asked, sensing there was nothing to do about it.

"They already requested someone from the 54th," Montgomery shrugged. "Officer Esposito I think."

The name didn't ring a bell and Kate decided it was best to leave things as they were."

"Go home early, get some more rest and spend some time with Jamie," he suggested, "And I'll make sure you are back on the list for the next assignment."

"Thank you Sir." Kate nodded, before slowly making her way back into the squad room where without her permission a small smile started to form on her lips.

"What has you smiling?" Royce asked surprised, since he already knew that Montgomery had pulled her off the investigation.

"Montgomery took me off the Vice assignment," she filled him in.

Royce frowned, "Since when does that make you smile?"

"Since it means I can make it to a little girl's birthday party," she now fully grinned, while Royce looked more confused by the minute.

"But Jamie's birthday was last week," he stated puzzled.

Kate sighed. Then looking around she got serious and signalled Royce to follow her, "Come on, I need to tell you something."

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