15. Windy Corners

~XOXOX~

Kate was soaked through to the bone and even though it was a warm night she was freezing. The street corner Vice had assigned her to was a windy one and combined with her wet clothes and a tiredness that crept through her whole being she wished she could just go home. But not yet, she still hadn't been able to get a positive ID on Raul Gonzalez, who supposedly was still in the building across the street. Supposedly, though Kate was starting to doubt that.

She had barely seen Jamie all week, her special assignment with Vice taking up most of her time and she craved nothing more than to spend a quiet night at her home with her daughter, just the two of them and a book.

Sure, her involvement in a major operation like this was something that would look good on her track record, but right now freezing, tired, alone and missing her daughter she questioned if the prize she had to pay to be part of it was worth it.

Kate wrapped her arms a bit tighter around her middle, stepping from one foot to the other, trying to get some feeling back into her numbed extremities. She saw the car approaching out of the corner of her eye and for a second she braced herself to get rid of yet another john who would try to make her an offer she couldn't refuse but then she realized it was an unmarked car of one of their own. Taking a step forward she waited until the car stopped next to her and she could lean into the window on the passenger's side.

"Royce?" She looked at her partner with a puzzled expression, "What are you doing here?"

"Stake out is over, Raul Ramirez has been spotted at another location uptown." Royce filled her in, signalling her to get into the car. "I offered to pick you up and get you home."

Kate settled into the passenger's seat and gratefully accepted the towel Royce held out to her.

"Why didn't someone from Vice come by?" She asked, still not sure why Royce was getting into all this trouble to pick her up, his shift had ended hours ago.

"They all moved uptown," he shrugged. "I didn't want you to have to take a cab."

She appreciated his thoughtfulness, "Thanks Royce, but you really didn't have to do this. I would have been fine taking a cab."

He gave her a once over, her wet clothes clinging to her body, her hair dishevelled, "I'm not sure any cabby would have taken you in." He smirked at her, putting the car into gear and turning around to bring them to her apartment.

They were silent for awhile, Kate trying to dry her hair as best as possible, while Royce turned the heating up, noticing the goose bumps on her forearms.

"How long have you been standing at that corner?" Her partner finally asked, taking a left turn.

She sighed, "Five hours."

"Five hours in this weather?" Royce shot her look, it wasn't exactly a cold night, but with the rain and the wind it was kind of chilly. "And they don't even have the dignity to have someone come down here and pick you up?"

"Royce, it's okay. I can handle myself and you know how important it is to get Gonzalez," she played it down, though she had to admit she had been thinking the same. And if she was being honest, it wasn't the first time it happened.

"It's not okay, Beckett. They can't request your help and then leave you hanging. That's not acceptable," she could tell he was furious. "I will have a talk with that Gregson guy who asked for you in the first place." He muttered.

Kate's head shot around, "You will do no such thing Royce. Do you hear me? I don't need you to protect me. I will sort this out on my own."

"Beckett -," but she didn't let him finish.

"No, I need these assignments and if you talk to Gregson they will never ask for me again," she dared him to challenge her on this.

"Why is this so important to you?" He asked, stopping at a red light and turning his head to look at her.

"You know why," she stated, absentmindedly reaching for the chain with her mother's ring, which she had foolishly kept around her neck, breaking eye contact with Royce and staring out the window.

"Becoming Detective is worth more than your dignity?" He questioned, because that's what this was to him, they had treated her poorly. The moment they didn't need her anymore they gave a shit. He's been there, he knew how it worked with the guys from Vice and he didn't want her to put herself on the line for them because she thought it would open her doors. There were other ways. "Vice is not the only way to get what you want, Beckett."

"I know, but it's the fastest, you know that as well as I do." She looked at him again. "You're not talking to Gregson."

"Suit yourself," Royce muttered and with that the matter was settled. He knew she was stubborn and if she had her mind set on something there was no way to get her to change course.

"Did this Castle guy bother you again?" Royce suddenly asked into the silence that had settled between them and Kate was taken by surprise by his sudden change of topic.

"What?" She looked at him puzzled.

"That author you had this fallout with," he went on, thinking her hesitation meant she either didn't realize whom he was talking about or she didn't want to.

"Oh," she nodded. "No, all good on that front."

"Good, because you know if he's giving you any kind of trouble, I can -," she stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"That won't be necessary," Kate wasn't willing to tell him anything else, glad when he left it at that.

The week went by slowly, so slowly in fact that Castle thought the weekend might just never arrive. Gina had been pestering him all week for a new lunch date and he was running out of excuses. Yes, she was intelligent, nice and good looking and he knew why Paula had taken an interest in playing match maker, but there was also a sense of factitiousness and superficiality surrounding her he didn't like. He had met many women like her, successful women, who were used to get what they wanted and he had to admit they had gotten him more often than he would like to admit. The past two years after the break-up with Meredith he certainly hadn't been a saint, though not as bad as the tabloids made him out to be. But he just couldn't find it in himself to trust someone again, he had been close with Sophia, well and that had come to bite him in the ass. He knew he couldn't trust a woman like Gina and he wouldn't make the same mistakes again. He was looking for something - for someone else.

So he had told Gina, he needed to write, a strike of inspiration had come to him and he felt like he was going to write a whole chapter in the next few days. She had believed him and he was confident he'd managed to get off her hook for now.

The truth was he hadn't been able to write a single paragraph. He had stared at a blank white page for the past days and nothing would come. Nothing solid anyway, the only thing he had managed was to scribble down some ideas and fragments of scenes.

He finally decided to let it go for now and instead went in search of his daughter to see if she was up for some father daughter time. Maybe a round of laser tag would spur his imagination.

Kate woke with a start, disoriented and panting she glanced at the alarm clock on her bedside table. 3:44am.

She groaned, feeling hot and bothered and for a moment she didn't know why. Did she catch a cold? Did she have a nightmare? And then she remembered all too clearly. Not a nightmare, she had dreamed of him. Another groan escaped her, this time one of embarrassment. Please God, no. The last thing she needed right now was to have dreams about him, any kind of dreams even less sexy dreams. This was all Cynthia's fault she tried to tell herself, only she knew it wasn't. She should have known it was only a matter of time when he would affect her, get to her and obviously under her skin. After all he had affected her once before in a way no other man ever had. There was a reason she hadn't been able to forget him over the past few years and the reason was not only Jamie.

She needed to get this under control, keep a cool head. She couldn't allow herself any mistakes and to think there was even a chance … no. She knew all too well how that would end.

Bored, Castle was bored. Just bored, so bored actually he was seriously considering throwing pencils against the ceiling to see if they would stick. Now where had he seen that before? Oh yes, The X-Files, the episode where Scully took a vacation in New England, the one with the creepy doll and where Mulder stayed back home, bored.

Alexis was at Daphnie's place, his mother out of town with a man, just a friend, sure, he knew exactly what kind of friend that was. Ewww, now he had pictures in his head. He frantically shook his head while strolling into the kitchen to open the fridge, he didn't even know why. He wasn't hungry, just immensely - bored.

He had even considered calling Gina, ask her out for lunch. Dangerous thought, he needed to distract himself and fast.

He could call Kate, but she would be still at work. Just a quick call, just to hear how Jamie was doing, she wouldn't like it. Hell, she would probably be furious. But he would just be checking in, they hadn't talked about where to meet on Saturday yet. He could use that as an excuse though she had said she would call him about the details.

But then again he was so bored and he really wanted to know how Jamie was and he just didn't have any self control left, he had dialled her number before he even knew it.

"Beckett," she answered without looking.

"Hey, it's me," the male voice told her, causing her to look up from her paperwork and furrow her brows in confusion. "Castle?"

"Yeah," he breathed obviously relieved she had recognized him, "Hi."

"Hi," she said back, still confused and it showed in her voice. What did he want?

"I just wanted," he stuttered, started again. "Just wanted to check on you and," he paused, "on Jamie, I just wanted to check on Jamie?"

"Is that a question?" She asked.

"Uhm, no?" Bad idea, bad idea to call her, he chided himself.

"Jamie is good," she said finally. "But I'm at work and -," he cut her off quickly.

"Yes, sorry. I know, just wanted to say hi real quick and hear how things are going." He was rambling. "I'll let you get back to it. To work, I'll let you get back to work. Bye Kate."

"Castle," she stopped him before he could hang up.

"Yes?" His voice was pitched high and she had to bit down on her bottom lip not to laugh.

"About Saturday," she continued and his heart stopped. She was going to cancel.

"Uh, yes," his tone was hesitant, almost fearful.

"I'll call you tonight." She let him know and could hear him let out a long breath of relief he must have been holding.

"Oh, okay. Yes, thanks." There was still hope after all.

"Bye Castle." She needed to go back to work before Royce noticed who exactly she was talking to and she saw him coming towards her right this second.

"Bye, Kate." He finally hung up and sighed. This hadn't been as bad as it could have been.

"Who was that?" Royce asked, pointing at her phone.

"No one," she said, catching Royce look. "No one you know, an old friend from college."

"Aha," he just nodded before sitting back down at his desk. Beckett never talked to old friends from college.

Kate did call him that night, it was late and she apologized, but Castle really didn't care. She could call him anytime she wanted, he wouldn't complain.

"How was your day?" He asked and really had no idea why. They certainly weren't anywhere near a place where it would've been okay to ask her that kind of question.

She thought the same, judged by the silence he was met with.

"I'm sorry that's really none of my business," he apologized quickly.

"No, no it's okay. It was the usual. Thanks." She had no idea when it was the last time someone other than Cynthia had asked her how her day had been and meant it. He meant it, she could tell by the sound of his voice and she couldn't deny it felt good to be asked.

"Okay, that's good I guess," he said, his voice warm and rich while she could hear his even breaths coming over the line. Silence settled between them once more though for the first time it wasn't the awkward kind.

But Kate couldn't allow it to last, couldn't give into the needs she was so used to push away. Just to have someone who cared, it was an illusion. She knew that all too well.

"So about Saturday," she brought them back on more solid grounds. "I thought about what you told me, about the paparazzi."

He sighed, so she did have second thoughts after all, "Kate, I -," he didn't know what to tell her.

"There is a private playground just around the corner from my place I thought we -," Castle cut her off.

"You're not cancelling?" He asked hopeful.

Kate was puzzled, "No, why would I?"

"I thought, because of the media thing and what it might imply," he left that hanging.

"Castle, I'm not saying I like it, but I guess as long as we're careful," she could hear he tried to suppress a chuckle. "What?"

"Uhu, sure safety first, but let me assure you Kate; you would like it," he couldn't hold it in, he just couldn't it just sounded so, inappropriate and maybe her change of tone tonight made him brave or reckless and it was out before he could stop himself.

"Seriously? What are you, nine?" He could tell she wasn't amused, not at all.

"Sorry, that was inappropriate," he quickly pack paddled. "I apologize."

Her only reply was a low grumble, "So Saturday. We could meet you there at two."

"Okay, yeah that sounds good," he nodded eagerly.

She gave him the address and he quickly scribbled it down.

"We'll see you on Saturday then," Kate summed it up.

"You will. Night Kate."

~XOXOX~