Shadow Clone Shenanigans
Kakashi glanced at Naruto, who was sulking nearby. Without dwelling on it, he turned back to focus on teaching Sasuke and Sakura. Meanwhile, Naruto was fuming. If Sasuke had awakened his Mangekyō, Naruto would have gladly borrowed those special eyes just to glare Kakashi into oblivion.
Fine. If you won't include me in the training, I'll train myself!
Naruto reminded himself of the powerful Multiple Shadow Clone Jutsu he had mastered. Despite that strange incident with Uzumaki Ziggs, it was still the perfect way to speed up his training. And since Kurama was too absorbed in his online novel-writing hobby to offer any guidance, Naruto figured it was up to him to handle things.
He nodded determinedly and began forming the hand signs for the jutsu. But as he did, memories of Uzumaki Ziggs asking him for an AK and a "Laifu" flashed through his mind.
"No, no… That was just a fluke," Naruto muttered to himself. "Yeah! It was just a one-time thing. No way it'll happen again…"
With that self-assurance, he shouted, "Multiple Shadow Clone Jutsu!"
With a series of pops, five clones appeared around Naruto in a cloud of smoke. However, when Naruto saw them, his eyes widened in horror.
"F**k!!" he cursed loudly.
Instead of the usual clones, these five were dressed in bizarre outfits. The most outrageous of all was a clone with granny-gray hair, a black top, tight overalls, and a basketball in hand.
When will this madness end?
Beside that clone stood a warrior with a high ponytail and another wearing a turban—clearly cosplaying Qiao Feng and Yasuo from some other world.
What the hell is this? Naruto thought. This is the ninja world, not some cosplay convention!
After seeing those two, Naruto actually found the twin-tailed girl and the bespectacled, bearded man somewhat normal. At least they were within the bounds of his understanding.
Naruto rubbed his temples, feeling his blood pressure spike. Maybe he should ask the Third Hokage what medicine he was taking...
Naruto sighed, realizing the Uzumaki Ziggs incident was not an exception. He figured he should at least find out the names of these new clones.
"All right... What are your names?" Naruto asked, trying to maintain some semblance of control. "And you—yeah, you with the basketball—can you stop playing around for a second?!"
Naruto was seriously about to lose it.
He could only imagine what the Second Hokage would think if he saw these ridiculous clones.
In response to Naruto's question, the four clones stepped forward in turn.
"Uzumaki Naruko," the twin-tailed girl said with a smirk.
"Uzumaki Yasuo," said the one with the turban, looking every bit the wandering swordsman.
"Uzumaki Qiao Feng," declared the warrior clone with a strong posture.
"Uzumaki Starrk," added the bespectacled clone, giving a lazy wave.
But before Naruto could react, the basketball-wielding clone grinned and added, "Yo, I've been practicing for two and a half years..."
"Get lost!" Naruto snapped. He activated his Wind Release and dashed in front of the clone, kicking him into oblivion. This guy had been annoying enough already, playing basketball and dancing around—Naruto couldn't stand it any longer.
He, Uzumaki Naruto, wanted Shadow Clones to help him with training, not mess around like this!
The remaining clones seemed unfazed by the outburst. Uzumaki Naruko, in particular, stepped forward and patted Naruto on the shoulder.
"Don't worry, we're here to help you get stronger," she said reassuringly.
Naruto looked up at her, momentarily dazzled by her appearance. Naruko was a stunning 1.7 meters tall, with long legs and the face of a beautiful eighteen-year-old girl.
Oh no… I'm getting charmed by my own clone! Naruto thought, shaking his head to clear the inappropriate thoughts. He quickly imagined an unappealing image to calm himself down.
"We're here to help," Naruko repeated, and the other clones nodded in agreement.
Naruto, however, was skeptical. They were certainly flashy, but could they really help?
After all, it wasn't too long ago that his clones had tricked Sasuke into wearing women's clothes for the sake of training. Who knows what nonsense they had in store this time?
As if reading his mind, Naruko added, "Don't worry, we're not going to make you wear women's clothes."
Naruto froze. Did she just read my mind?!
"Relax," Naruko said with a smile. "I just know you very well, that's all."
Naruto was about to protest when another clone, Uzumaki Starrk, approached with a pen and paper. He began jotting down notes as he spoke.
"We're going to help you train by working on the modules you're most familiar with," Starrk explained. "Let's start with something simple."
He signaled to Yasuo and Qiao Feng, who stepped forward eagerly.
"Boss," Uzumaki Yasuo said, striking a pose, "I'll work on the Craftsman's Soul module and the sword-drawing module. Just toss me what you've got, and I'll refine it."
"The world will soon know the power of my Hayate Swordsman!" Yasuo added, dramatically pretending to draw a sword from his side, despite not having one.
Naruto watched in bewilderment as Yasuo then leaned against a tree, crossing his arms with a pensive look.
"Though I've wandered far and wide, I've never lost my way…" Yasuo muttered.
Naruto couldn't help but feel a spark of hope. Maybe this clone wasn't entirely useless after all.
Qiao Feng, however, quickly dashed those hopes.
"Boss," he said, sounding serious, "All I need is a high-powered sound system. Then I can take this thing and dance with Madara."
With that, Qiao Feng assumed a horse stance and began swinging his arms, clearly imitating the moves from a TV show Naruto had seen in his previous life. To make it worse, he started providing his own sound effects.
"Ding-deng-deng-deng! Ding-deng-deng-deng!" Qiao Feng chanted, mimicking a martial arts soundtrack.
Naruto could only stare, feeling utterly defeated.
I knew it… Uzumaki Qiao Feng is not reliable at all!