:: The Fool's Chance ::

A week after

Shan Hanyu

I walk out of the conference room feeling satiated. Mom, can you hear me? I think excitedly as I pass one of the glass doors. The words of the lady in green earlier, Miss Mila reverberate in my ears.

"Mr Shan, we are happy for you to join us."

That was it? None of those never-ending theoretical or mathematical questions meant to daunt an interviewee, tests on ethical issues or even interrogation on long-term and short-term plans?

As a fresh graduate from a local university with zero experience in the field, apart from the honest-looking face I am told I have, I don't own any criteria to bargain for higher pay or benefits. Reality is harsh. But at the end of the day, I am just surviving in a city I didn't come to be born in.

I still can't believe my ears that they have just accepted me. I could have jumped for joy, but then I pass the fifth room on the floor and notice a very familiar face.

She is the girl who I have fawned after for so long.

Lu Shengyi. The name just makes me feel unconfident. Plus, after what happened between Xiaoxian and me, I feel ashamed to face her. I evade her view by turning around and heading in the opposite direction when I sense a warm hand on my shoulder.

A man of about forty smiles at me. 

"She is the boss here."

I could have never guessed. Shengyi was dressed very intricately in an exquisite-looking business suit that had to be a product of the Korean fashion designer Jegal Hyun. Her black pants bragged her long legs as she sat with her legs outstretched comfortably in an ergonomic chair. She seemed particularly focused on a booklet laid before her, which I assume to be a business proposal.

Shengyi is the boss here. So how is it possible that she would have consented to hire me when I have hurt her friend? And speaking of that friend, where is she and what happened?

I still feel guilty to Xiaoxian for using and hurting her, but she appeared to have disappeared without anyone knowing. I had prepared an apology note, some flowers and chocolates for her sometime after our breakup, but she is nowhere to be seen. Everyone says they have no idea and that she had moved out without telling them. She wasn't even present during our graduation ceremony, even though she had marvellously passed the examinations at the normal level.

As Xiaoxian's best friend, Shengyi should know her whereabouts, but I am too ashamed to say a word to Shengyi. But now that she is my employer, does it mean she has given up on being cold and emotionless to me? If she didn't care about me, why has she hired me, then?

The man ushered me to a vacant room for a quick word. Come to think of it, he has to be someone important. His stare on me is intense. 

"Sir…." I stammer, not knowing his name.

"Dewey," he says loud and clear. There is a crease between his brows as he is glowering at me. Then he clears his throat and continues, "I know in the past, you and Miss Shengyi may have some… issues. But the message that she would like to pass to you is that work is work, and personal matters should be kept personal. Both should not interfere with each other. Do you understand?"

While he is passing on the message apparently from Shengyi (which I can truly believe is from her, judging by how straightforward and abrupt she is with me in our university days), Dewey attempts to be as amicable and unrushed as possible.

"Yes, Mr Dewey," I find myself uttering in a mouse-like voice. 

"I am straightforward, not fierce," Dewey reminds me. "Don't take it to heart, I am just telling you this to avoid disappointment in future."

Did Dewey say that because he knew what was on my mind? Was my infatuation for Shengyi so obvious that a stranger would have known?

'I know you like her.' A voice repeats itself in my memory. Even Xiaoxian had discovered my 'secret'.

I am probably asking for too much, but is it still possible for me to pursue Lu Shengyi? Would she ever shed her cold self around me one day, as long as I put in ample effort?

I have never got to understand a girl after all. Perhaps if I persevere and learn hard to appreciate Lu Shengyi and make her happy, she might change her mind about me. 

If only I could know what was on her mind. She seems so cold and cruel towards me, yet warm and happy towards everyone else. What was about me that put her off, other than my previous relationship with Xiaoxian?

Dewey sends me off at the entrance, but I can't stop thinking about the focused look on Shengyi's face. If she doesn't mind me being in the same office with her, I will push hard in my career and make her happy.

Mom says women just want one thing, that is to be treasured and loved. Xiaoxian is no exception and as tough and cold Shengyi is, she is still a woman inside and out. I believe what Mom says is right.

I will have to touch her heart and move her, somehow. No matter what it takes, if there is a will, there is a way.

"So, if you're fine with the verbal offer, I'll draft out the offer and we can have it signed on your first day of work… which is next Monday?"

Mila's melodious voice breaks the silence. I look up to realise that while I was wandering around the exterior of the building, she was standing before me with her arms folded in front of her chest.

How long had she been standing there?

I just nod and give her a bow in courtesy. After making sure she has indeed left the area, I roam around the vicinity while thinking about how I should face Lu Shengyi in future.

After much thought, I come to the actualisation that the benefits of working with Shengyi would outweigh the odds. I will be seeing more of Lu Shengyi if I were to work with her, and hence this could create more opportunities for us to meet and spend time. If we come to understand each other, maybe circumstances would turn out more differently.

Her name is like music to my ears.

I take a few steps forward dreamily until I suddenly find myself unable to move further. Then I opened my eyes and realise that a man in a hoodie is watching me with penetrative eyes. They are penetrating because they have the power to cut through you with each stare.

I must have the luck of continuously running into Shengyi's men that keep hindering me from even possibly fantasising about her.

I want to ask who he is and why I can't move at all, but he breaks the ice instead, his eyes glowing as he speaks.

The voice sounds oddly familiar like I have heard it somewhere before. And not on one occasion. Who could the owner of the voice be?

"Shan Hanyu, know your place. The girl is off-limits."

I beg your pardon? I think in my head, and then the hooded figure continues talking with his booming voice.

"Lu Shengyi is mine, not yours to have."

His voice is cold and threatening, seeming to drive icicles right through me as he converses. What does this man have to do with Shengyi at all? 

I am released from an imaginary grip when the man turns away from watching me like a vulture eyeing its prey. And then, out of the blue, the figure has vanished.

Lu Shengyi is mine, not yours to have. The words appear to have been engraved in my mind. I am afraid. While Shengyi seems an impossible target, the threat from both men confuses me greatly.

Lu Shengyi seems too good for me, I think and again, I fall into a helpless state. I do not think I could ever get her. I sigh and sit down on a bench by the road, calling out to Shengyi in my imagination.

"Lu Shengyi, are you a goddess? You seem such a mystifying creature," I mutter while observing the cars drive by. She is the most perplexing of all mathematical questions and never ceases to amaze the average man that I am. At the same time, I find that she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen (excluding my mother, of course). What a marvel. 

If the entire university is insane about her and she doesn't even heed her any attention, what chance do I even have, a fresh-grad and an entry-level employee, while she is the boss?

Now I don't even know what I am thinking. I am torn. I want to believe that there is a chance between us, but everything seems too good to be true. If she is an empress, then I am but a lowly servant.