18 :: A Distinguished Spy ::

Shan Hanyu's thoughts

I am a huge emotional mess.

First I messed with Xiaoxian's feelings and now Shengyi almost made me impotent with that mighty kick. What should I do? I have hurt both of them.

The nurse at the clinic only laughs that a woman caused so much damage to me.

Just then, the phone rings.

...................

Back to Shengyi's POV

The strangeness of the voice earlier still drifts inside my mind. A question that remains unanswered, provoking my unsettled thoughts.

Did my inner demon just tell me to hurt Shan Hanyu?

Albeit how I want to make Shan Hanyu pay, it's not like me to take it on him in such a mean way. I am concerned about this part of me. Have I transformed into such a terror?

I am now sauntering silently in the not-so populated beach in the vicinity of my university. I see many families, most with young children, which makes me miss my 'ideal family'.

Once, we were a family. My father, my mother and I. That's what I chose to believe to this day, even though I have never met my mother. In my mind, she is a very marvellous and beautiful woman, probably taken away by illness or a mishap. My father would never tell me no matter how many times I asked. There are so many versions to this tale, but in my past life and still, now, I believed most strongly that my father had loved my mother even after her death.

Unfortunately, events took a different turn in my current life. My father was spared from cancer but on the other hand, his destiny took him away from me. He rarely answered my calls in the months after he was reunited with his college sweetheart and their daughter, which I now verily believe to be his new family.

It is complicated. In his original fate, my mother was his only love and he never remarried. I was his only flesh and blood. So much has differed in these two lives I have led and am still leading. I have lost my status quo as my father's gem and no longer know what position I have in his heart. At this juncture, I feel unwanted.

Lu Shengyi, Lu Shengyi, I tell myself.

I hope I don't live to regret the consequences of my actions. In my brain, I list down how circumstances had changed so greatly. Not in order of importance, but randomly in my head.

[1] The friend I had in this new life, Xiaoxian suffered.

[2] Shan Hanyu became a bigger jerk.

[3] Fu Technologies threaten Shengyi Corporation. And Cullen Fu is a puzzle I can never understand.

[4] My father has a new family.

[5] I am confused at love. But I probably will never find it, because I gave up love.

With the autumn breeze sweeping cool gusts of air in my face, I lean back on a reclining beach chair and doze off.

It is pleasant to sleep without a care for the world and what is going on, but I cannot control my dreams. Because when I slip into a dream, sometimes I tend to fall into a deeper fantasy of myself. This time, it is a spiralling slide of colourful clouds. I am back to my childhood days. A woman's voice calls out to me dearly.

"Shengyi, you need to grow up and become the best daughter I ever had."

Her face is not clear to me. Even her figure is fuzzy. When I come closer, there is nothing but a silhouette.

My mind bombards me with all the questions I had about my mother.

Is she indeed my mother? Or is she just a figment of my imagination? If she is, then where is she and what happened to her?

Will I ever see her again?

Was what she said the reason why I was so determined to succeed in building my business empire?

What I have seen is, after all, a memory I no longer retain in my head. Then, as if the sky is listening to my confused thoughts, everything fades away and I return to where I am, relaxing on the beach chair. I am staring upwards into a multitude of colours, the sky in sunset.

The strong facade I have worn over myself crumbles. I realise I am, after all, a sensitive and emotional person deep inside. Just how long can I keep up this strong front?

I, Lu Shengyi will not concede defeat easily, I remind myself. I grit my teeth and wipe the tears from my eyes. Devil Cullen has brought me back to my twenty-one-year-old self for a reason. This is a fight I cannot back from. Not only will the events leading to my death at twenty-seven not happen, but I want to make the most of my youth. I want to create a legacy for my successors.

The sky flashes once as if answering the thoughts within my mind. Suddenly, I feel stronger than ever. By no doubt, this has to be psychological.

...............

Mila knocks on the open door as I work on reading a self-improvement book, Ten Tips for Networking Success by Adelaide Tan. A pile of already read books are sitting on my shelf. I have set a firm target to finish a hundred books by the end of this week. It is just Wednesday, and I have already gone through sixty books.

"Miss Lu," she greets me with a conscious look on her face. Her skin is spotless, and her eyes are shimmering with confidence. In the times she assisted me, I am beginning to feel an unusually warm spot in my chest for her. The part of me that could trust again, appeared to be left far away. I had become dubious and suspicious of others' intentions, except Xiaoxian whose mind was too simple and gullible to be a threat to me.

Mila didn't seem to mind. She continued to meticulously perform her tasks to the best of her ability, which was undoubtedly amazing.

"Come in," I announce.

She walks in looking presentable in an elegant navy dress that reaches past her knees and matching heels. "Miss Lu, the investigator is here."

"How reliable is he?" I cock my eyebrows in disbelief.

"His client portfolio includes elites like the Yangs," Mila informs me, keeping down the tone of her voice. The Yangs are a prestigious family in Andophia but live very secretively. Nevertheless, none of us wants to incur the wrath of a well-established family who we do not know their true background. They have done so much to keep it perfectly hidden.

I twirl my curly strands around my finger as I contemplate whether to take Mila's word for it. The man has been sitting in the meeting room for about thirty minutes when I just decide to give his services a try.

He is slim and slender, with a distinguished appearance. Instead of looking all studious or nerdy like most investigators in the dramas, he resembles a top salesman of a multi-level marketing product. He is charismatic and convincing. Who would have even thought he was spying on them?

"Mr Sergei?"

He stands up and takes my hand courteously in a firm handshake.

"Well met, Miss Lu."

I invite him to take a seat and sit across him, reading his body language carefully. Not one ounce of deception lies in his face or his eyes. Although I can't explain it, since I was reborn, the deal with the devil has allowed me to see clearly emotions in the eyes of most 'normal' people. The average person cannot hide their emotions from being 'read' by me.

Unless Sergei is a mastermind at treachery, I would be able to read him like a book. He seems trustworthy so far, but I cannot let my guard down.

I decide to put him on a simple task to prove his worth.

"Mr Sergei, to be honest, I am not a person who can trust easily. And when I want something done, it has to be done," I say in an authoritative voice, as solemnly as possible.

He clasps his hand in admiration. "Miss Lu, you are indeed a classic. Of course, I would have not come unprepared."

I see that Mila must have briefed him beforehand on what he is expected to face, and I just smile.

"Mr Sergei, I need you to find out the background of this person, from his family back home to his past relationships and any connections he has."

I plop a glossy photograph on the table.

"I will be at it, Miss Lu."

He picks up the photograph and reads the name in Chinese characters handwritten on the back of the photograph: Shan Hanyu.

"If you succeed at this task and give me what I need, I will reward you handsomely for your efforts. Plus, I will assign you a new and bigger task," I tell Sergei coldly. I am the boss now, and customers are always right.

He smiles back.

"Miss Lu, you will certainly not regret hiring me for my services. I only strive to produce the best."

'But can he tackle Cullen Fu?' was the last of my thoughts as the investigator's skinny frame gradually vanished from view. Like Devil Cullen, Cullen Fu is the devil of the industry and the biggest of my worries. Cullen Fu has been lying low for now, but when he gets up again, I am concerned that he will have more tricks up his sleeve.