Communication Talks.

Today Is Still... February 15th, 2023

It was one of those days... I was still depressed from my Disgrace of a Valentines day yesterday... so of course I still appeared to be depressed... Usually when I'm upset I don't say much but I make it show on my face because that's my way of saying... "I want you to ask me what's wrong" Just so I can reply with... "Nothing... I'm fine..." Knowing damn well I'm not fine.

Adrien asked me Yesterday if something was bothering me and I told him... "Nothing... I'm fine..." Knowing damn well I wasn't fine.

There is a Difference in my Attitude when I'm mad or upset at the world and my bf... When I'm Mad or Upset with the World I'm Talkative but in a depressing tone. And I Put on a Obvious Fake smile and I Want you to ask me what's going on to show me that you care... and 90% I will rant and rave about what's bothering me.

When I'm upset with Adrien, It's a WHOLE different mood... I dont talk. I dont Move, I often stare into the distance in utter silence as The Thoughts of every second of my day flood into my mind. They haunt me. They Taunt me. And like a fool... I sit there and listen to them.

Adrien looked at me... He knew something was wrong... Seeing that he is my boyfriend that of which I've been dating for a year now he best know when something is wrong.

It's a beautiful thing... Because when im upset it bother's him. Deeply. When I don't tell him what's bothering me... He'll get sad. And ask in a more emotional way.

I Stayed afterschool with Adrien today.... As I usually do... But.. I couldn't sit there and just let this Fear of "I'm Losing him!", "He Doesn't Love me Anymore" Just keep eating at me. That was when the conversation began...

"Babe Can I talk to you about something" I said, "Yeah... Of course you can... I knew something was wrong." Adrien Replies, "I'm sorry i've been acting weird and everything it's just... y'know... Yesterday was Valentines Day... and y'know... You kinda disregarded me the entire day... No Happy Valentines, No Hug... I mean just no nothing... and to me Valentine's day is supposed to be about people you love so... I'm just sitting here wondering-" "Omg Babe I'm so sorry... I hadn't even acknowledged it was Valentines... Like sometimes ill ask my self what day it is and when i cant figure it out ill just tell myself to forget about it" "I'm really sorry about that. I'm so sorry. Happy Late Valentines babe. I love you very much and I'm sorry I didn't say it yesterday." Adrien Says.

"It's ok. I just sometimes wonder if im doing enough and if I'm good enough because... In all honesty... I dont know what's going on with us..."

Adrien makes a Concerned Look

"What I mean is... When we are alone and when we hang out I feel like more of a friend then your boyfriend. Like when I went to your house... I really enjoyed being there... But like... Wouldn't you say it was off how I was the one doing all of the romantic stuff. I asked you if you wanted to cuddle... What I'm saying is... You never just do it... I always have to ask you to or something." "Yeah... I'm sorry babe...I don't Usually do stuff like that because... I just had a lot of past failed relationships and The first girl had moved away and Then the second girl cheating on me so after so many times you just start to become numb and stop feeling affection and stuff like that y'know."

Now Pause... I thought to myself about this... He's been through 3 Failed relationships... I've been through over 36... How the hell you getting numb. Literally our relationship is my last attempt at love.

"I totally understand that" I replied to him,

Now Your probably reading this and saying... "That's Sarcasm!" But it wasn't I swear... I do understand! Relationship P.T.S.D Is real... Trust me I've been through it Countless times! I'm a Person is willing to Mold and Adjust for the other person.. I Love Adrien and if he need's time to move past a Failed relationship before we dive deeper into ours. I respect that... and I want to gift him all the time he need's.

I do wish he would've told me this sooner so that I wouldn't be thinking I was the issue the entire time.

"And also babe... Some guy has been messing with me. and It's really starting to piss me off" Adrien Says,

Now... When I tell y'all I never turned around so fast. When I tell you... Mom mode activated so fast... Everybody knows I don't play about my relationship... I don't let people mess my man. I'll ruff somebody up behind my bf. That was when I said...

"Who!? When!? Where!? What does he look like!?-" "I dont know his name for sure but like... He keeps messing with me and stuff when I go to the bathroom and stuff" Adrien Says. I then make a Look of Disgusted Disturbance. "What do you mean messing with you when you go to the bathroom!?" "Like he Keeps talking about our relationship-" "What do you mean... What is he saying..." "I dont know he Just keeps mentioning it like every time he see's me" "Oh you mean like he's asking about it!" "yeah... And he keeps trying to... What's the word... Um.... What's the word..." "Harassing? Touching? What?" "No no no… He keeps... He keeps trying to flirt with me... That the word... He Keeps trying to be Flirty and all that and I dont like it. And I try to avoid him. It's just really starting to tick me off"

Now Pause... Hold the hell up... He just said this guy asks if he's still in a relationship all the time and even though he Obviously is and he Obviously feels uncomfortable you still coming at him with the bull. Oh no. Mm Mm. Honey no.

"Don't worry babe we Gonna find out who this is and I'm going to handle it... I know you said you didn't know what his name was, Do you know what he looks like?"

Adrien then described what the guy looked like to me...

"Ok cool. We gonna Prioritize this and We gonna talk to whoever this guy is and Imma make sure we put him back in his place... and Also... From now on... For your safety and to make sure your not being harassed by anyone...I'll be walking you to class after lunch from now on."

This is very important to me. Nobody and I mean NOBODY is going to jeopardize or risk my relationship. Who the hell does this guy think he is! Imma Get to the Bottom of this in...

A Matter Of Time.