11 第11章: Rumored Tales

She entered the room, without another or much of any thought for that matter. Inside had been nothing except mostly that she needed to do as they said. There was little leeway otherwise, and she knew that she could not avoid to put it off.

Feiyu wanted to ask just when was it, and how much she could have chosen to commit. But they were not asked, and she grabbed a small tray for tea. The boiled tea was the main deal here, as she poured it carefully. Able to do it easily, with much skill.

The only thing which put her off had been how they seemed to see it as she was putting on a show. A show that many admired for her talents, even if it had been something trivial. Although for Chaoyun she was largely uncomfortable.

Putting on a show had never been her thing, if anyone was to notice it. It was something which has never felt right for her, regardless of what she did as her own choices. Being observed was an imprisonment, having to mind her own manners.

Tolerable for a short while; but in the long run it will drive her insane. She kept it as it was, choosing to avoid their gaze as much as possible. While making it as effective, before going down. Unlike before where she took her own time and did it at the fastest timing in which it still looked professional.

Becoming the center of attention was not her idea, nor had it been the place where she will belonged. Far from it in reality; since she always seemed to fade into the background. Her personality was outstanding, but it was rarely a fabricated lie but in reality a truth that few will ever grasp. She was just this odd, never was it a front.

And the sort of stigma she faced had not been worth it either. Unless it was just who she was and nothing will do to change it. Regardless of what sort of circumstances she will have found herself in the first place. This was just who she was, never for show.

And she never found it right that they thought this persona was that in the first place. But she couldn't even say a word in the first place,

When she gazed upon the door, she entered without even thinking. With her hands on the tray, and ready to do anything to begin. She knew the place well enough. It having been her home for years, years that she spent here. Years that she used to help her mother.

She curtseyed upon meeting the two men at one end, and their wives on another. She offered to put the tea for them, which was appreciated in all of them.

Before she retreated to fetch their main course. It was huge, and she was still alone. Not that it was of any surprise at all, from the beginning seeing as how she was the only one here. Apart from Zhao'en who had taken to doing so.

As for the men, she was only allowed to pour for Zhao'en's prospective family. But little else. She didn't mind, seeing as that was lesser work for her.

Few had been trained the same way she was, and not many had her mother deemed worthy. Making it rare. Opening the door finding Xiao Yan handing her the latter. Although she will normally give them privacy.

"Tonight is a slow night." If he said so, and still could be here. She didn't doubt how it was. It was as real as it could be.

"Can't picked a better day to do it." She took it from him. He ran down probably to help out if there was any other need.

She looked back to find both Feiyu and Qingshuang there. Sitting upon the chair and holding her instrument. Almost as though they were about to perform.

"Aren't you going to enter?" She asked them. They didn't seem rushed to make do anything in reality. As though this was a practice session and not an actual performance in reality.

"If you say so." Qingshuang went in first, followed by Feiyu. Since he was carrying the larger instrument. She only followed after them, carrying the tray inside and in some manner trying to make her look as though she was an expert.

Inside as she slipped into the room, and quietly served them. Nothing like the incident before where all they did was look at her. It has never happened in this manner before, at least in occasions similar to this.

As much as her mother's behaviour was strange, this was of the same stock as well. It never made much sense to her, not even now. But with her willing to overlook some mistakes because she has never really intended to take up this job. Without some benefits, of course.

She poured the soup for the children, knowing that they might be unable to do so themselves. Once she was done, just as she wanted to leave.

"Stay." It wasn't Yuntong or Zhao'en. But from the man in the middle, there was nothing of the lust she had been taught to notice. Just so she could find a reason to leave. Not that it was possible either, she was also in a room with women present. At least that was a solace.

And who was she to refuse?

Although it was an unusual request, as much as today had been unusual as well. Her mother never answered any of her inquiries, other than what she was told. Nothing will stop her from it either.

Having herself stop by a table, one on the end. Where Zhao'en was. Unlike before, her brother took another with his elder brother and father. Leaving only her here.

Not with her mother. Although she doubted it was, because of how little similarities they have together. And the distance.

Although she couldn't really tell because she never had a mother nor a child. But she has seen them and they always shared a connection. At least one which was present even when they were children.

Sons as she learned were eventually taken away but daughters always stayed with them until marriage. For a woman whose life often stayed within a house, and rarely anything else.

"It's my night tonight." She gave a smile and poured some tea for her. In a way that put a smile on her face. She still stood up, for she didn't belong. Merely a spectator at best, and at worst just a servant. She looked outside, knowing that she will have to look out. The kitchen was in full swing, or as fast as it could be with only a single cook.

"Is that your prospective groom?" Pointing to the elder of the boy.

She shook her head. To the child who was still fiddling with a toy. If anything she didn't seem that interested in the first place.

"Well, I do think that my options are pretty good. Given that I could be marrying a man old enough to be my father." That was certainly true. Although none of the wives seemed to show it, most of them were several years older.

Listening to them finish the first piece, which was still in her memory at that point in time. This had been far better, ones which she doubted she will have forgotten anytime soon. Never being one to have really known all the meanings, but all she knew had been how it was so intense.

She gave the place a single glance, and it was anything but unclear.

"Good," a man clapped for them. Neither of them stood up to leave or anything. Instead, they waited for them. She took a look outside, to find herself taking the main course. She knew that it was always lengthy, for these also served as gatherings. A chance to know more about their family

"They have to listen to the demands of the patron." Yuntong joined them. Although she guessed that he didn't enjoy being in another table. And one was assigned, where they began after a moment.

"I thought father had something to say."

"He said it, then I asked to leave." He fanned himself next, without ever thinking too much into it. "Besides, brother has become insufferable."

Looking at Qingshuang sweating whenever the man paid him much attention. "The last time they performed, I heard that my brother had been impressed. He has been obsessed with the guqin since he was old enough to learn it."

"I was wondering what will have driven him to choose that location in the first place."

She left herself out of the conversation because of how little she has known them, and her interactions has been mainly to them. Even if she has managed to see him before, even then it was clear he wasn't anything particularly normal.

"I pity you."

"It's not terrible, but not good for the reputation."

"Is this why you're becoming the scholar?"

"Yes and that he in general dislikes studying. Father does feel that he probably will not do well under these circumstances in the first place." The imperial examinations being intense, and never one for the bored. It was one where families rose and fell.

"Besides, he didn't make it past the region." He chose to take a bite. Before she sat down with him as well.

"So, your life has been laid out for you?"

He gave a shrug. "Even who he is going to marry has been decided. And this match is to help him, since he was also a former scholar from the same town as well." The girl didn't give away any information, choosing to have kept most of it to himself at this point.

"He came from here?" That was interesting, and in her short life she has seen many scholars pass here. And yet, she was certain that she has never seen him. The same could be said for them.

"I heard that he even knows the owner." She did wonder about that as well, given her own insistence.

"Did she force you?"

"No it was an exchange which I needed, since I was settling the debt." She folded her own arms, because it was for them she did it. The boy blinked for a moment, while Zhao'en gave a smile.

Zhao'en gave her the bowl of rice, which she intended to be hers in the first place. And he did the same by giving her some dishes to accompany her. Not one to deny herself--although quite full from the previous meal. The only way she could not be tempted to take the food in the first place.

"Although there are some rumors surrounding him."

"Tell me."

"Well, he has lost a wife before. She died four days childbirth, in early winter where there was no midwife to be found." She looked to it, just how real could it be? The music was nor becoming a lot more eerie.

"Just that?" She went forward, expecting a lot more from him tha just that.

"Yes." She rolled her own eyes. Wondering just how useful was that in the first place. She stood up and left, knowing that dessert came next. As always, there was time to indulge and time to just focus on other things.

Now was the latter. At least to get her mind off things.