The beginning

The life has things for everyone even for him , young at the age of 12 he realized that he stammered and would be constantly embarrassed about his public speaking and sometimes private conversations as well. A young boy from the middle class how can he save his face in front of his friends was his first concern , the world is a small place his home and parents and the friends were everything . That was also the first time he tasted the success , the same way trial and error and the subject of the experiment , he himself. He realized that no one cared about his little insecurity that he stammered and he had to fix it. He observed and then realized that everyone exhales when they speak and then inhale in the process and he had to take the focus away from his speech to somewhere else to speak freely and then it struck, he would inhale while he spoke he would do it through his nose and in the process exhale , however the focus will be his noose he would inhale. That did it and he never looked back the first taste of success , without a doctor or therapy now for everyone . Life goes on & as he got into college he realized that girls were friendly to him and he was young , he liked them back and soon he realized that he was hurting. He loved someone it was meant to feel good just like the movies there would be problems but at the end things will work out , that was not the case, here the girls spoke about security, what security in that age , physical security he was a strong lad , emotional and financial security , later it came to financial security and the social status , he had nothing to do with it, heartbroken , he took the usual refuge drugs , drugs helped him enjoy the self-pity the pain , he started enjoying the pain and cherished the all lost feeling . It took his time however he realized that the drugs the cough syrup and the pills also gave him an edge over others , people took him for granted and never took him seriously and he was termed as a total failure. He focused on the things that he always liked in like poetry and literature & this is the time the drugs helped him ,he had time and was patient enough to indulge in the little luxuries he found, he realized that the feeling of rejection and self pity needs to be dealt with and he started writing letters to the the person who broke his heart and after sometime he realized now the feeling of pain and the self pity was gone now he didn't bitter he was feeling better however hopeless. Rehabilitations and taking efforts to vent out the feelings have once again proven to be the correct way . He was out of drugs , became sober.

When he looked around things have changed the people who were his friends have grown older but he was still the same , strong and compassionate , intimate sincere yet private. He realized that the poetry and the literature , that he lived on daily in his drug induced state has now become his second nature , he could recite poetry as if there were his own and speak on various subjects with confidence, he was amazed to see the change , he realized that the routine for the last fifteen years as a drug addict who lived on the high of poetry and literature ,has become his own feature . It was great , he always wanted to be this man , who will have good things to say and will be able to present simple things in a much better way. He was better off , there were many things that he had done and wanted to speak to others about it , but would it be right , just to tell he had earned it and payed for them dearly , he was alone people have almost lost trust in him apart from his parents no one trusted him ,it was a long journey