Daddy Issues

Seojun's POV:

The smoke of air puffed into the atmosphere, clouding the night sky. With my right hand, I covered the cigarette as I flickered the lighter on it. The red-hot fire danced around the cigarette as it lighted my face, illuminating my cheeks and eyes.

Reflected from the cigarette, I could view my father hustling with another dealer. With his hands over his, he handed over him some methane and left…clique.

His legs walked its way across the puddle. His big body, showing that he worked out, stood before me. He's the man.

I inhaled and let out a puff. Sucking in nicotine, hydrogen cyanide, carbon monoxide, you name it – just whatever that harms my lungs or kills me, got rid of my pain.

Changing girls is like changing your clothes. You wear one until you're sick of them, getting another pair and repeat. But there is a catch: The gum won't just come off; it'll stick onto you until you get them cleaned.

It's just the process. I'm sorry Jin-ae, you just must get used to seeing me with other girls.

"Sup my old man," I said as I turned my head towards him. I had my back slouched on the wall and my left arm hidden in my pockets. He pulled me up and I started coughing out 'smoker's cough'. I wheezed.

"How did you do it?" I asked with my fist covering my mouth. I twitched my hand while rotating the cigarette, burning it from the bottom.

His sulked pale face stared at me and his brows knitted as he pressed against it. "Seojun, can you not be a slacker!" he yelled.

I snickered and pat on his back. He looked at me as if I was still a child.

I handed him a cigarette. With his raisin-wrinkled like fingers, he took it.

"What," I asked as I felt the presence of him looking at me. My deep dark sunken eyes stared into his, how we look alike.

'This is the man who fucked my mother and married her the next day' I thought to myself.

"Seojun, you have to realise that you have the whole drug empire in your hands. You are the Prince of The Yakuza! You shouldn't be asking me how I deal with my customers, so mind your own business," He told.

Right, we're having this talk again, how boring. Just because he's the leader, he doesn't have to remind me of my position - my status for god's sakes!

"Plus, you are staying at your mother's tomorrow- same as always. I'll pick you up next week," He added as he bit the cigarette.

As I was about to turn my back around, he rested his hands on my shoulders. "Here's 15,000 Won," he handed over. Nice. I chuckled and flipped the money, counting the amount.

"I'm out of here," I said. The dark smell of the alley no longer lingered around me as I rode my bike to the main streets.

***

"Seojun," a voice called out.

To me, it sounded like a murmur. Everything is a blur; I just woke up from my nap goddammit!

As my heavy eyelids tried to open, the teacher, Ms Bak Sang-Hee, was yelling my name at the top of her lungs. She tied her hair back, wearing a blazer over her black tight dress. Seriously? I feel like school is like a hook-up bar. God!

"Seojun!" she repeated.

"Ah, yes?" I said smiling. I rested my face forward on my hand with my eyelids slowly shutting itself. I woke up.

"Hmmm…I need to go to the bathroom," I said. I stood up and walked out of class while holding my leather jacket over my shoulders.

"Kim Seojun, you c-can't leave. Hey?! Where are you going mister?" flustered the teacher.

I laughed as I ran down the corridors going to god knows where.

Without looking where I was going, I bumped into Baek Hyeon. His books fell and so did his glasses. Oh shit!

I bent down and helped him pick up the books in a hurry: geography, a notebook, more notes. I guess The Golden Boy does keep his reputation. And so, do I.

"H-hey, where are you going," he pulled my collar as he stood up.

��Ouch ouch! Dude, what?" I winced.

"Seriously? C'mon Seojun, I got to at least congratulate you for being a dad" he said with a grin on his face. He pulled his hair back and laughed for a while.

"You're a dad!" he screamed as he walked away.

I'm a dad? My brain was processing everything it could until it went blank. Then, a blizzard came through my mind and it was clear. Jin-ae.

She didn't take the pills, did she?

***

"So how are you and the-" I interjected them as I slammed on the table hard with my hand.

Baek Hyeon, Ha Joon, Jin-ae and Mi Young were sitting at the table. They drifted their eyes away as I sat down next with them at the frame like a table: Jin-ae and Ha Joon on the left, Baek Hyeon in front of me and Mi Young next to me.

I slouched my back on my seat and paced my legs as I rubbed my chin. At the corner of my eyes, I saw Jin-ae and Ha Joon exchanging glances at each other, whispering as they were staring at me as if I was a threat.

"Achem. So, you're a dad huh?" cleared Baek Hyeon with interest. He was at the edge of his seat, taking a bite into his Bibimbap while moving his face towards mine and Jin-ae's direction.

Mi Young choked on her drink. "Excuse me, what?" she cleared as she wiped her mouth with a tissue.

"I-I'm going to leave now, excuse me," She stood up with hesitation. I got up and dragged her with me to somewhere quiet, the restroom nearby, to talk with her.

I pinned her to a corner, and she started to shiver as I leaned my face closer to hers. Then, I laid my hand on her belly. My eyes were filled with anger and confusion.

"S-Seojun, I'm going to leave," she tried to break free, but I clasped her hands. She shuddered.

I pressed harder on her belly and gritted my teeth. "Please…no," She winced.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"Tell you about what? T-there is nothing," she nervously smiled. I banged the wall.

I came closer to her ears and whispered into her ears, "Damn it Jin-ae, you didn't take the pills, did you?". I stared at her face.

Her eyes started to tear. Slowly, it streamed down her cheeks. Then, it felt like her eyes were the Atlantic Ocean, and I was the Titanic ship sinking in deeper and deeper as she started to cry.

"No... I-I didn't," she cleared her throat. I let her go and sat down on the bathroom floor while rubbing my head and covered my face.

WHAT CAN I DO NOW?! I'm SUPPOSE TO BE THE PRINCE OF THE YAKUZA MAFIA, NOT A DADDY OF SOME BASTARD'S CHILD!

"AAAAGGHHHHH!!!" I cried out. I am not prepared to be a father. I never was and will never be. I can't do this!

My lungs expanded and contracted rapidly. I could barely even breathe properly, only inhaling carbon dioxide. I could feel my heart pacing faster than a horse's gallop. It was as if my heart was racing faster than the river current, pulling me backwards with force and drowning me in deeper and deeper until I blackout.

"G-get out now!" I told her as words could never come out properly. My mind was fuzzy, and I felt discomfort in my stomach: a feeling of heaviness, tightness and indigestion came overruling me. Slowly, it took over my body. I felt like throwing up, but I must hold it in.

I clutched my way to the sink and held myself up. I gripped the sink and laid my head towards the sink as the water faucet was running. I let it out.

Jin-ae was screaming, letting out drops of dew, flooding her face with tears and she tries to wipe it away with her sleeves. Reflected from the mirror I was facing, I could see her slowly strode towards me and hugged my waist as she laid her head at my back, still crying.

I turned around and hugged her as I took a deep breath in. I stroked her hair down and tried to hush her.

***

Clamouring filled the room with the voices of students in the class. The teacher left for 'urgent matters' how dull. I relaxed my chin on my hand as my lip pouted, thinking about Jin-ae. In my mind, I could only think of her and our child.

Riiinngggggg! School's over.

'I've got to find Jin-ae,' I told myself as I hurried out of class. I scurried my books and shoved them inside my bag. I wore a strap on one hand and walked my way out.

Looking from the top the level to the bottom, I was searching for her. I ran all around the school and searched everywhere, but I couldn't find her: The basketball court, the hall, her class, etc.

At the corner of my eye, I could see 4 shadows (measuring Mi Young, Baek Hyeon, Ha Joon and Jin-ae) passing through the school gate.

I made a run for it and I finally caught up to them. They quickly looked elsewhere while walking in the same direction.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked as I put on a smile on my face.

Silence.

"C'mon. I didn't mean what I said! I-I told you I had to play tough, so-" I was interrupted as Ha Joon gave me a furious look.

"Stop making excuses. Jin-ae has nothing to do with you," he snapped. He pulled her away and walked faster as I stood and watch.

"You're right," I said. They stopped and listened.

"I know I kept making excuses and treated everyone badly, treated you badly Jin-ae. But...t-that doesn't mean I have nothing to you. You have my child and now you let Ha Joon assume that we have nothing to do with each other. Jin-ae! Please look at me right now," I begged as I started to tear. I covered my face and I heard footsteps pacing towards me.

I was sobbing, covering my face with the shame. The same soft frail fingers held my cheeks and lifted my chin.

"I forgive you," she said before pressing her lips onto mine. Her cherry flavoured lip balm savoured into my mouth as we kissed.

Ha, Joon was disappointed and walked away. Soon, one by one started to do the same. They all pitied us.

***

"Just so you know, you could be a great father," she said as she whispered into the air.

We were on her soft queen-sized bed, laying down naked. How did we end up here?

I chuckled. "Really?"

She turned her back around and faced me. I stoked away her hair and listened to her breathing.

"You know, I've been thinking," she said as I listened and nodded.

"Since the baby is a boy..." she took my hands and pressed it at her stomach as I giggled.

"What, you want to name him?" I asked.

"I already did!" she scoffed as she threw her pillow at my face.

"Fine, tell me," I murmured as my eyelids were shut.

"Ye-Jun, Kim Ye-Jun," She spilt. Our backs laid back and faced the ceiling as the cold breeze blew through the window.

"Mhn, what does that mean? Besides, why?" I asked as my eyes were still shut and her head laid on my arm. She cuddled tighter.

"Well Kitty, Ye-Jun means - a person who is handsome and talented. 'Ye' gives the meaning of talent in arts and craft, referring to me. And 'Jun' means handsome and talented just like you," she explained as she drew circles on my chest.

Talented - where does that come from?

"You are a nerd. Did you know that? Alright, you're supposed to tell me 'why'," I cleared.

"W-well, it's close to your name: Seojun and Ye-Jun," she stammered.

"Aha, very funny," I said sarcastically.

"I may not be the best dad for him, but I'll try my best. So, you must promise me that you will keep him no matter the outcomes," I said seriously as I stared at her beautiful pale face.

She turned around and laughed. "Seojun, you know my parents. I can't have a child at this age. They would freak out! Besides, Ha Joon-" I placed my lips over her lips.

"Y-you want to abort?" I stuttered as I looked at her. Did she name him and now she wants to abort?

"Yes," she relieved.

"I can't do this alone. I can't bear with all this stress and school and exams!" She held her face and covered it.

"Well, I'll be with you," I said without hesitation.

"No," she cried as she said it repeatedly.

"We-we're not having this conversation again. You are not- we can't," she shoved her face into the pillow and choked on her sobs. Sooner or later, the pillow will get soaked with her tears.

I could feel her shivering, creating warmth to expand, as I rubbed down her back. Her feet were cold as ice, freezing down her body temperature.

She's scared of what might unfold, as I was. I shouldn't be mad, but why didn't she tell me? I have made many mistakes but, she must keep him because it's our child, not Ha Joon's or Baek Hyeon's. Besides, I can't pay the doctors to kill my child. It's just wrong!

"Listen to me Jin-ae! You have to keep him alive or I swear to god, I-I-," I broke down. What would I do to her then? Hurt her or love her again? It's not an option.

We spent the entire evening there on her bed. We didn't let out a single word to each other; the silence took over and we slowly fell asleep together.

Mi Young's POV

The next day:

"Morning!" I sang as I skipped into class. My brown laced hair fling behind my ears, brushing through my back.

I'm 17 and my best friend is carrying my friend's child. How wonderful friendship is! He's involved with the largest mafia group and she is this princess trapped in the reality of her parents. How amazing is that?

I brushed off the dust on my gyobok and sat down next to her. As I was about to greet her, the books on my desk fell and I could see her chatting with Seojun. She's giggling as she is twirling her hair and her legs are twisting themselves then tapped with a rhythm.

She fell for him again.

I laid my head on the table and let out a sigh. My books are still on the floor and today she's happy?

I mumbled under my breath as my lips pouted with confusion. Baek Hyeon dropped by and took a chair to sit in front of me.

He stared at them talking and he flipped his hair. "Am I hot?" he said.

"Because I'm pretty sure than I am hotter than Seojun," he continued as I spaced out.

"Mi-Mi Young, what do you think? Because if you say that I am, for a fact, hotter than him, do you think that she will date me…and probably have a child with me?" He said as he looked right and left. Will he get over it!

"Baek Hyeon, as my non-biological brother, I advise you to find yourself a date and stay away from me!" I said as I thunked my head on the table feeling annoyed.

Ugh, I can't believe he just smeared his 'I-am-single-but-hot-life' to me, a cupid, as if I didn't do my job well.

"Mi Young, the class is about to- "said a student as he adjusts his glasses.

"Don't" I interrupted as I laid up a finger.

"A-ah, okay," he said before bowing and he ran back to his seat.

What's wrong with me today? I think I might have the sixth sense working on today…