My Only Joy

I tried

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I tried to keep going

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but these demons kept pestering and tormenting me

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They said that someday it'll get better, WHEN IS IT THEN? I WAITED FOR 16 WHOLE YEARS YET NO SIGN OF CHANGE

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THE ONLY THING THAT KEPT ME GOING WAS GAMES, COMPUTER GAMES, A BEAUTIFUL LIE PLASTERED ON MY SCREEN...

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yeah...

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games...

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"Heh, everytime I played it felt like a second but those seconds felt like pure and utter bliss, if I had a wish, that would be to play games for all eternity" I said to myself as I jumped from the stone railing that I was sitting on

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as I fell from the bridge, the air felt cold, and time felt slow. They say that half way down the bottom that I was going to regret my actions yet I felt nothing, I still wanted to die. I wonder why but I guess my theory was true, that being I mentally died even before this, nothing but I shell or a husk of what I was. But I do wonder...When was it that I died? What was the moment that truly killed me?

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That would be my last question after I finally hit the ground, it hurts like hell but it ok if it insures that I won't suffer again just for living, the water down below was shallow but maybe that's better, since it killed me quicker and I could feel the warmth of the water, Its so relaxing. I closed my eyes and smiled as I finally faded away from the blood

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"Hey, wake up. Its time to play" a Teenage boy said as he held his hand out to me

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he had black hair, red headphones, green hoodie, navy blue pants with brown eyes and brown shoes. he had huge eye bugs, and a chill and playful demeanor to him.

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I grabbed his hand and got up, I looked around to see nothing but pitch black. Except for me and him, there's nothing here. Not even from below, it's like I was floating in air

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"I died, right?" I asked him

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"Yes, you did. let me explain why you are here, Me and someone else that lets just call the 'devil', made a bet and its give whoever died a blessing or absolute torture, depending on who won our bet" he said in a cheeky manner

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"Who won?"

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"Let's leave that for your head to solve" he said with a smile

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he moved the conversation "I want to ask you a question, why is it that you wanted to die"

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I answered simply "I just had enough, I guess" with a pitiful chuckle in the end

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"No, that's not really the full reason, right" he said as he tilts his head, that was really my reason yet why does it feel like I picked the wrong answer... Hell, what else could be the answer, I was the one who committed suicide so I should know! but still, what else could my reason be? what does that boy know

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"What?" I asked in a serious tone

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"Don't worry about it, You'll get the answer I need from you someday" He said

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"But it seems like you already know" I said to him

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"Yes, but I want the truth to come out from your mouth" he replied

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"so now then, I think its time for you to play a game" he said as he lifts his left hand, which is holding a book and opens it. This book wasn't there before, its like he just got it out of thin air. He then wrote in it with a pen that he took out from the pocket of his pant. I just had a look of awe as he finished scribbling and uses the pen to point behind me

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I looked and what was behind me was 5 simple things. a wooden chair and table, and on top of it was a mouse and keyboard and lastly a monitor. I slowly approached it, I sat on the seat. and touched the keyboard and mouse, I had an eerie feeling. I've never been to this place yet it felt so nostalgic. I slowly realize as I pressed the keys on why I felt this way, this was my usual setup. The only thing that was missing was the absolute mess on the other side of my table and some disgusting otaku shit I had all over the place, but when I play, those weren't important, those were not the things I could feel. It was only the seat that held my body, I pressed my keyboard with my left hand while I held my mouse and the table holding up my wrist, and the monitor that my eyes glued to it for hours on end, yes, that's why. Because other than those 5 , everything else maybe even the world itself, was nothing to me, but a void.

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The cords of the three extended down to the endless darkness below, and with a click of a mouse the monitor opened, an oldish JRPG game appeared with a 8bit title, the music and title screen was reminiscent of the nineties, games like xenogears and chrono trigger come to mind when I saw this, The title is called "A Gamer's Wish" which is kind of plain

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It only has one option and that is the "NEW GAME" option, For some reason this really bugged me, like why was it new game not something like any keys to start or press play. but it was nothing but a nitpick so I just pressed enter and moved on. and unlike before, this game gave me with many option to pick

* Townsman

* Researcher

* Medic

* Mage

* Lancer

* Tank

* Warrior

* Assassin

* Necromancer

* ̶G̶u̶n̶s̶l̶i̶n̶g̶e̶r̶ ̶

* ̶M̶e̶c̶h̶a̶n̶i̶c̶ ̶ ̶

* ̶ ̶P̶l̶a̶y̶b̶o̶y̶

* ̶E̶n̶t̶e̶r̶t̶a̶i̶n̶e̶r̶

* ̶ ̶P̶r̶i̶e̶s̶t̶ ̶

* ̶ ̶T̶h̶e̶i̶f̶

* ̶ ̶D̶e̶m̶o̶n̶ ̶

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* W̷̢̨͇̮̳͚̯̳̫̱͈̳̜̣̓̓́̉͑̚͜͠ȑ̵̞̗̤̖̳͔̠̺͍̗̰̖̓̔̑̓͆͑̽͒̃̏̀̕i̴̢̧͈̞̙̺̞̜̭̘̪̱͓̣͙̓̽̋̆̚̚t̶̡̜̲͕̬̟̖͓̲͈̻̝͚̹̄͋͗́̎̐͌̃̊̓ê̴̺̈́̔̉̓̓ṙ̴̨̨̟̞̩̥̙͓̓̾̑̊̑͘͝

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there was alot of options to choose from, and it seems like I could change my class at some point since there are unlockables, I am only guessing this but it would be a waste of effort to put a new class only for the player to not be able to choose it and be stuck with only one.

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I picked the Warrior class, its dull but its the good ol' reliable so I have no doubts with it. As I was about to hit enter, the boy says "wait a minute" which I then stopped myself.

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"After you press that, this will be our last encounter so to make it special, I will answer one question that you might have. It could be anything from what happened after you died, your past curiosities, information about the game, or just maybe even where the fuck we are?" he rambled

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I only had one thought though, "Why me?" I asked him as I looked at him dead in the eyes

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He then just walked around the room as he answered "well then, that's a very good question, I was not expecting that. So let me go on a nice little rant for you, many people commit suicide, different people from different places killing themselves in different ways and for different reasons. I'll make a nice and low number to be humble, lets say 10 people in the world commit suicide everyday, a year has 356 days and a decade is 10 years. With a very low number our options are now 35,600 people with variety, but even so, we picked you. Because out of all of these people, your ideology, your reason is just perfect for us and if you find an escape then we might as well, because me and you and many other I know suffer from a curse. So to finalize, I picked you because of your true reason to die"

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"I think family issues and ending your suffering are one of the highest reasons people commit suicide" I said

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"Like I said, your true reason"

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"Ok then, what are my 'true reasons' that I don't even know about?" I said in an annoyed tone

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"Sorry, only one question. That's all I'm answering you, but I will reward you with answers if you complete achievements" he said in playful manner

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He walked past me by my left side and shouted "also, remember this. If you want to go your tabs like Stats Info, Inventory, and your Skill/Technique Path, just breath in and think of the tab your going to" after he said that he intentionally fell backwards and free-falled into the void. I pressed enter and everything turned dark like it was consumed by the void

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Moments later my eyes opened and looked to see I'm in a room, a wooden one, I got up from my bed and looked around, I took a sword and armor that was in a closet and saw myself in the mirror, I recognized this look, this was a character I made sometime long ago. So that's how it, how interesting, it seems that I have gotten isekai-ed into a new world which is probably the JRPG that I was playing, and became Sakuto Komori. I wore the armor infront of the mirror and left, as I opened the door, what awaits me is a big town. I looked at the sky and took a deep breath

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"This will be fun" I said as I held my sword tight and ran to the town

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TBC