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A Fragile State of Mind (Revised)

Kaneki Ken. Emmett Cullen. A half-ghoul with unresolved mental issues and PTSD. An animal-drinking vampire with a good-natured and a jokester personality. Two unlikely paths are crossed: emotions are confusing, relationships are complicated, and minds are inherently fragile. But Fate, or whatever one may call it, never lets their favorite play things alone for long. Clashing personalities with equally as complicated secrets are forced together, no matter the shockwaves brought about by it. You can't deny the pull of 'True Mates,' after all.

Kimuii · Book&Literature
Not enough ratings
7 Chs

Meet Cute, or Meet Weird?

Angered roars echoed out through the night, deep in the woods of Washington. Two grizzly bears stood in an enraged standoff, not with each other but with the biggest Cullen member who was toying with them playfully. Several times, he came within reach of the bears' large claws, only to speed out of the way when they made their move to strike.

"Emmett!" An exasperated Carlisle called out from where he stood with Edward and Jasper at the edge of the clearing. "Quit messing around before you—"

The sound of ripping fabric cut off the man as one of the bears struck while Emmett was distracted and managed to snag its claws through his shirt. Emmett was hardly phased; this wasn't the first time this happened. He let out a booming laugh, smirking before running forward and sinking his teeth into the attacking bear's thick neck. Jasper quickly took care of the second bear.

Edward eyed the tattered remains of Emmett's shirt. They hung from his body and shoulders in strands. Holding out a spare white t-shirt, Edward shook his head. They always brought extra outfits on their hunting trips for moments just like these. Emmett always found a way to get his clothing destroyed or dirty beyond repair.

"Alice is going to kill you," Edward said. "That's like, what, the fifth shirt this week?"

Emmett responded with his typical unconcerned shrug, swinging an arm over Edward's shoulder. "Oh, Eddie, my dear boy. Lighten up! Live a little; it's just a bit of fun. Besides, I have the excuse of going through a mid-life crisis."

"A mid-life crisis at the age of ninety-eight? Ninety-nine?" Edward said, giving him a deadpan stare. "A bit late hitting the mark, don't you think?"

Edward ducked from beneath Emmett's arm, chucking the clean shirt at Emmett's face, which he easily dodged. 

"He says that all now, but just wait until the girls get their hands on him," Jasper chuckled. "I'm sure attending them on one of their shopping trips will have him toning down on the 'fun' for a while."

Emmett cringed at the thought, snatching the remains of his shirt from his body and pulling on the new one.

"Come on, I told the girls we'd get back before morning hit," Carlisle piped up. The four men began their trek back to the jeep at a human's pace. It had been an emotionally stressful time for the family, mainly Emmett and Rose, so the others enjoyed seeing Emmett finally relax. Emmett had Jasper in a headlock as they talked amongst each other, laughing and joking around. Then he suddenly froze mid-step.

A heavenly scene hit his nose. It was the same one that had caught his attention many hours ago, though this time, it was more direct, so he knew it was coming from the original source rather than someone who had just been in contact with him. Emmett closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. It was more potent, too, enough that Emmett could identify the smells: a strange yet pleasant mix of ivory soap, men's cologne, and…coffee.

"Em?" Jasper worked his way out of Emmett's grip, sensing his brother's sudden wayward emotions shift. Thankfully, his grip had gone slack. Edward paused in his tracks, scanning Emmett's thoughts. Emmett, meanwhile, felt like his heart would be racing if it could. His hands twitched at his sides, eyes darting around at the trees. He was overwhelmed with the desire to chase down the source of the scent, and he didn't like it. He didn't like this lack of control over his instincts.

Emmett opened his eyes. 

"It's that scent again," he explained in a strangled voice. 

Edward raised an eyebrow. "In the middle of the woods? At—" he looked at his phone, "3 A.M.?"

Emmett nodded, grimacing.

Carlisle stepped forward, a firm hand on his son's shoulder. "I know this may feel unnatural for you right now. Just let it guide you and—"

Emmett shuffled from foot to foot briefly before he was gone, darting in the direction of the scent, not even allowing Carlisle to finish. Carlisle cursed, rather colorfully, making the other two gape slightly. They didn't even know Carlisle knew such vocabulary, much less actually use it. The three took off after Emmett, Edward catching up to him first just as Emmett made it to the area where the scent was the strongest. Several pairs of arms grabbed him, two latching onto his arms and the last wrapped around his middle from the back.

Jasper extended calming waves towards Emmett, not expecting this behavior from the larger Cullen. Emmett needed to be calm and rational for this interaction. It seemed to be helping a bit as Emmett made no attempts to break their holds.

"Not what I meant, Emmett," Carlisle remarked quietly yet sternly. 

"Right," Edward hissed. "Even you can admit that running up on this guy is the worst thing to do. It'll either scare him or put him on defense, which he'll already be on, considering we're four strange men in the middle of the woods at night."

Emmett blinked, turning his head towards Edward as the bronze-haired vampire continued. "Do you want to expose us? Listen to your instincts, yes, but don't let them fuck you over. Do you really want this guy to be afraid of you for that to be his first impression of his mate?"

It was clear that Carlisle's theory of true mates may be very real, as Emmett's reaction was beyond that of mere curiosity.

"Of course not!" Emmett snapped heatedly. That, despite everything, was the last thing he wanted. Emmett inhaled slowly, gradually going slack as a show of backing down. He stared around the area they were in, the trees slightly sparse, until they landed on the source of the scent that had been torturing him all day and the unknown man plaguing his mind for longer.

It wasn't the Renji man he had seen earlier. So, this had to be the Kaneki guy they had been speaking of. Emmett wasn't sure what he expected of the mystery man, but it definitely wasn't this. The man was sitting on the ground, his back propped against one of the tree trunks. His head was bowed slightly forward, so Emmett couldn't see his face clearly. The man's hands lay in his lap, his arm across his torso. He looked to be unconscious. 

His pale skin rivaled Emmett's, snowy white hair blending with it almost perfectly. It looked extremely soft. Curiously, Emmett couldn't smell any chemicals that came with bleached or dyed hair, nor could he see any difference in hair coloration at the roots that would suggest new growth. Was his hair naturally that color, then?

Emmett tried to move forward. Was he okay? Emmett needed to know. From what he could see and smell, there wasn't any blood, so the man wasn't injured. But Emmett wanted to be sure. What was he doing all the way out in the woods anyway? The arms around him tightened as he moved, holding him back with protest. Emmett looked at them before glancing at Carlisle with a blank yet pleading look.

"I just need to make sure he's okay," Emmett told him. The blonde elder hesitated for a moment, golden eyes searching his son's face before slowly pulling his arms from around Emmett's torso. He motioned for Edward and Jasper to do the same.

"Keep it cool," Jasper told Emmett. Jasper would do as much as he could to keep the situation calm, but he wouldn't interfere too much. This was a significant interaction that didn't need any emotional hindrance. Emmett nodded and took an unneeded breath. Be cool. He could do that.

Emmett turned back to the man against the tree and froze, blinking as he met the gaze of the man. Dark circles under gray eyes were very prominent, Emmett could see now with the man's raised head. The man's face was expressionless as he watched the four of them.

"Hello…?" The man's voice was raspy, sounding in desperate need of water. Emmett restrained himself from moving closer. He wasn't sure how long the man had been conscious and watching them, probably the whole time.

Emmett cleared his throat, feeling highly uncomfortable under the blank, unwavering stare. "Hi. My name is Emmett. Emmett Cullen. Are you alright? What are you doing out here?"

"…I was taking a walk," the man said slowly. "Earlier, obviously. I got tired, and I guess I fell asleep for longer than I meant to. I'm fine."

The man had a still noticeable accent, his voice very guarded as he spoke. He stood to his feet, eyeing the four others with wariness. Now standing at full height, Emmett could see a significant difference, comparing the man's shorter, lean frame to his own hulking height.

"There aren't any trails that lead out here, though," Emmett stated. "You got lost?"

The man shook his head. "I wasn't lost. I know how to make my way home."

Emmett's eye twitched, unsure of how to continue this. The man had him genuinely floored. The guy lived well into town. Emmett wasn't sure how long it would take to get back there on foot at a human's pace. Maybe if he lived on the outskirts of Forks like the Cullens did, but even then…

He glances at Edward briefly for any insight into the guy's head, maybe, but Edward's eyes were narrowed slightly, lips pursed. "I can't get a good read on him," Edward said quietly so the man couldn't hear him. "I'll explain later."

Emmett's eyebrows knitted together. That was strange. Edward's powers had never not worked before. Was he being blocked somehow? His gaze returned to the white-haired male. The man shifted from foot to foot before settling into a broader stance, visibly tense. Emmett took a small step forward, stopping upon seeing the man's eyes grow harder and cagey. At first, he looked ready to take off running at any moment. Now, he looked ready to fight. This guy didn't even come up to Emmett's chin. So why did he feel a little intimidated? Emmett found that he hated that feeling.

The man's companions had said that he was the protective type, a little paranoid at times, based on what had been said. 

"What's your name?" Emmett asked, just to confirm. The silence they had fallen into was uncomfortable.

"Kaneki Ken. My family and I just moved here."

"That old building in town, right?"

Kaneki nodded. His voice was calm steady, but his stance never relaxed. He was standing his ground. It was rather…animal-like. Before Emmett could respond again, Carlisle stepped forward. Kaneki's eyes immediately snapped over to him, taking a quick step to the side and then back now that there wasn't a tree directly behind him.

Edward was still trying to decipher Kaneki's thoughts. They were chaotic, to say the least, and despite the look on the man's face. He couldn't pinpoint anything in particular. Even if he could, the thoughts were in a different language, probably his native tongue. It was rather frustrating for the mind reader who was so used to being able to clearly read anyone's thoughts with ease. 

"My name is Carlisle Cullen," Carlisle said calmly, making no more moves forward. It would only set Kaneki off more. "These are my sons." He gestured to Emmett. "Emmett, obviously. And Edward and Jasper." He pointed to the other two accordingly.

"We own property a few miles from here and were heading home from our hike. I'd like to offer you a ride back into town if you'd like."

Almost immediately, Kaneki declined. "While I appreciate the concern and the offer, I can get back on my own." 

Carlisle frowned. "I really don't feel comfortable with leaving a child in the middle of the woods with no--"

"I'm twenty-four, actually."

"Could have fooled us," Jasper muttered. Emmett snorted. Kaneki didn't look any older than maybe 18 or 19. Definitely not twenty-four. Kaneki's eyes narrowed icily at the comment, and Emmett cleared his throat, forcing the amusement off his face. 

"That's not the best idea," Emmett said. "There're mountain lions out here. And bears."

"You guys seem to have fared just fine," Kaneki said dismissively. 

For everyone's sake, the others prayed that Kaneki would just give in to letting them drive him to town. Emmett looked like he was going to budge, either.

Oh, they're mates, alright, Jasper thought. Both are hardheaded. Edward had to contain his snickering at his brother's thoughts.

"Well, we know these woods pretty well—"

"Really," Kaneki interrupted. "I'm fine. Seriously…now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to start heading back. It was…nice meeting you, I suppose." 

Kaneki began to make his way around the four men, keeping the exact distance between them and keeping his front to them. Once Jasper and Edward were the closest to him, his gaze ran over them again before finally turning to walk away into the trees. 

Edward, switching back and forth between Emmett and Kaneki's thoughts, went to grab Emmett's arm, but his brother was already two steps ahead.

 Kaneki almost instantly spun around at the sound of rushed footsteps approaching him. Before he had the chance to do anything, he was grabbed by his upper arms and frantically lifted off the ground as if he weighed nothing. 

 "What the fuck?!" Kaneki yelled, struggling in the largest male's grip, a sudden tingling erupting beneath the surface of his skin the second the guy touched him. "Let go!"

 He grasped at the arms that held him, digging into the skin, raising one foot, and planting a sharp kick to a solid chest. It felt like kicking solid stone, clawing at marble, but Kaneki didn't let that stop him. He was a second away from releasing his kagune on this idiot who had the gall to touch and lay his hands on him. That may have been something he let slide in the past, but now? Never.

 These weren't normal humans; they didn't smell like one, but they weren't ghouls either. Kaneki was still wary, though. A human he could handle, a ghoul too. But he couldn't tell what these people were; without that knowledge, he couldn't assess the threat if they were one.

 The bronze haired one—Edward, he was sure they'd said—apparently had been trying to "get a read" on him, whatever the fuck that meant. It wasn't like Kaneki had approached them. They didn't have a reason to be suspicious of him. Kaneki mentally told himself off. He should have gotten up and headed home the second he'd regained consciousness before these people could stumble upon him. 

 But he hadn't, not even having the energy to contemplate the questions he'd face when he returned. He had no doubt that Hinami had told the others about his behavior. Rize had decided to make an appearance again. Kaneki had been able to ignore her, per usual, at first. Thankfully, it lasted long enough to be able to walk Hinami back. But as soon as they were feet from the café, Rize became more adamant about breaking through his composer, escalating, so Kaneki took off without a word.

 Hinami had noticed his jitteriness, fingers shaking, and eyes that refused to stop moving around their surroundings. She wasn't dumb by any means. His body trembled, and a headache grew as Yamori joined in. He had been on the verge of breaking down at any moment, and he refused to let Hinami and the others see him in that state. No, not if he could help it.

 Kaneki didn't know how long he had run. All he knew was that he was miles deep into the nearby woods and wasn't stopping. Echoing, echoing voices pulsed in his head non-stop, slamming into his skull repeatedly, taunting, cruel, and instigating. They brought forth memories, some long forgotten, some Kaneki had desperately tried to forget but couldn't. Faces flash by in the corners of his vision: his mother, the blank, unknown face of his late father, his aunt, and her sneering face. Rize. Yamori. Ryouko. Hide…

 Kaneki's shoulder had slammed into a tree he hadn't been quick enough to dodge in his sprints, sending him stumbling. The pain of the impact throbbed, but Kaneki quickly regained his balance and continued running. Running, running, running. His time of being tortured by Yamori, the attack on Anteiku, the café, a place that Kaneki had come to see as a home, burning down to ash, nothing. The multiple, human and ghoul, lie dead in the snowy streets. Hide's limp body in his arms.

 He felt like he was on the brink of breaking again, Rize and Yamori seeking to punish him for daring to ignore them. They showed the day he and Hide had been attacked by Nishii, an event Kaneki had long ago forgiven him for. He had almost devoured his best friend that day, but Touka wasn't there to stop him in this memory. Kaneki had a first-person point of view of himself tearing apart Hide's body. The blood, the screams that were loud and ear-bursting. Red stained his teeth and chin, ripping through flesh like it was nothing—stop, stop, stop!

 Kaneki's feet suddenly dropped from under him, his body tumbling down an incline, rolling along the forest floor. When he stopped, he didn't attempt to get up, doubting his ability to do so. He clutched at his head, gripping his hair so tight it hurt. His breaths were coming out way too fast, hyperventilating, as he was gradually pulled into the chaos and horrors of his own subconscious. 

 Away from the world, Kaneki found himself lying in a familiar field of flowers with no end. Lycoris Radiata, or red spider lilies, Kaneki remembered—the red magic lily. The endless meadow remained the same blood-red color it had turned to years ago when Kaneki accepted Rize and allowed her to take control briefly to overpower his torturer, Yamori. Kaneki could barely remember the visual of them being pure white, representing his mental innocence lost to the red of brutal reality. 

 Kaneki had grown to like them despite what they represented and the circumstances under which he had come to know them. The rich red color was entrancing the eyes, which gave Kaneki a strange comfort when he was the only one present. This wasn't the first time he'd revisited this field, and he wouldn't fool himself into thinking it would be the last. Kaneki caressed the soft petals of the flowers, and as he pulled his hand away, his fingers were stained red. He regards this with a blank, unconcerned stare. 

 The peacefulness wouldn't last, Kaneki knew. It never did. Kaneki snorted bitterly. Then he sighed, sitting up as Rize and Yamori appeared, ready to surrender to their torment again. Perhaps they would keep it short this time…

 Night had fallen by the time Kaneki returned to the real world. He woke, lying face-first in the dirt. Rize and Yamori had retreated for now. Kaneki stood on tired, shaky legs, wiping his face and clothes to remove the dirt and mud. Stumbling over to a nearby tree, he leaned against the trunk and slowly sat down. The sounds of nocturnal animals and bugs filled the area around Kaneki, bringing a sort of calming comfort.

 Kaneki hoped the others weren't out looking for him at this time of night. He hated to inconvenience them and make them worry. Kaneki pulled his phone out of his front pants pocket, rubbing at his eyes tiredly as the screen lit up brightly. It was well past three in the morning, and he had no service, not that he expected to have any this far out in the woods. He let the phone drop down onto his lap, his hands following shortly after, his head hanging forward, eyes closed as Kaneki tried to prepare himself for the long walk home mentally.

 Kaneki hadn't been sitting there for long before hearing the grass rustling. Something was approaching him fast. Kaneki didn't look up at first, merely listening intently for the footsteps. More footsteps followed the first set before coming to an abrupt halt. There was more than one person, and Kaneki tensed up as he heard the hissed conversation, finally raising his head.

 There were four men. Three of them were holding onto the fourth one, the largest of the group. The man they were seemingly holding back was tall, much taller than Yamori had been, though with a similar build, which put Kaneki on edge, especially after just getting away from the Yamori in his head. An avid gym goer, the man's body just screamed strength—handsome looking with short brown, almost black hair and strangely golden eyes.

 The other three had similar characteristics, Kaneki noticed. The pale skin, like that of porcelain dolls, and golden eyes. Kaneki had never seen eyes of that color before, but Kaneki was no one to judge on someone's appearance. His appearance was also a sight to see, not at all common.

 When Kaneki stood to his feet once the group acknowledged him, he got the full effect of the man's stature. The top of his head only just met the man's—Emmett—broad shoulders, and it reminded Kaneki again of the resemblance to Yamori's frame and build. It made Kaneki instinctively put his guard up.

 As Kaneki went back and forth with Emmett, Kaneki began to feel jittery again, impatient. He just wanted to go home already. He was sure Touka and Hinami were freaking out, and if they weren't already out looking for him, they wouldn't sleep until they knew that he was okay. But this guy was insistent on talking to him despite the circumstances. Kaneki declined the father's offer of a ride; there was no way he was getting in an enclosed space with the big guy. He would find his way back home eventually.

 Kaneki hadn't even turned his back for a full minute before he found himself in the position he was in now, glaring into molten gold eyes.

 "Emmett!" The father, Carlisle, yelled from behind his son. Kaneki sent another firm kick against Emmett's chest.

 "Put. Me. Down," Kaneki demanded in a snarl. He already disliked being touched by most people, especially strangers. However, this was completely different. There was an extreme tingling sensation wherever Kaneki's bare skin met Emmett's, where his hands clawed at the man's arms, and where his large hands gripped Kaneki's upper arms. It was warm and icy cold and not necessarily unpleasant…quite the opposite. But Kaneki didn't know what it was or why it was occurring, and he didn't like it. Kaneki desperately pulled against Emmett's hold, but the guy wasn't budging, looking unaffected by Kaneki's struggles and kicks. 

 "I—" Emmett started.

 "Em, let him go!" The copper-haired brother said earnestly, coming up and grabbing his brother's arm and pulling, barely managing to move him by an inch. Emmett looked conflicted, his eyes flickering to Edward and then to Kaneki. Slowly, he lowered Kaneki back to his feet but did not release his hold on the white-haired man's arms. Kaneki had to bite back a growl that threatened to erupt in his chest.

What was this guy's problem?

Now that Kaneki was back on his feet, he stopped kicking and shoved at Emmett's chest. It was like trying to push at a concrete wall, and why was he so cold? Kaneki opened his mouth to yell again, but Emmett beat him to the punch, taking Kaneki off guard when the words that followed were pleading, almost desperate.

 "Look, I get it. We're four strange men you've never seen or met before in the middle of the woods at an ungodly hour of night. You have every right to be wary of us. It's actually very responsible of you to be so cautious. Not many people are. But that's not the point. I wasn't kidding when I said there are mountain lions and bears and whatever other shit out here, and it really isn't safe for you to be out here, especially at night."

 Kaneki went to speak again, but Emmett wasn't done. "And we just want to help you out, and we would feel terrible if we just left you out here when we're in the position to help. Our mom would never let us hear the end of it, either. Dad would definitely feel bad… he's a doctor, you see, and it would go completely against his whole moral code if he just left you out here, like his personal moral code, not his code as a doctor…so, please, let us at least drive you back into town."

 Kaneki blinked rapidly, as did the Edward kid, who looked like he, too, had difficulty keeping up with Emmett's rambling tsunami of words. Silence settled among the five, Kaneki's eyes never moving from the man before him. Golden eyes stared at gray ones with intense emotion, spiraling Kaneki into even more confusion. Combined with the ongoing tingling, that was too much for Kaneki's senses. 

"Please," Emmett firmly said again.

 "A-Alright, fine," Kaneki caved in, his voice rough. He shuddered and broke eye contact. "Just let go."

 Kaneki could understand, to an extent, Emmett's reasoning. He mostly only agreed right then to get Emmett to stop touching him. Emmett's shoulders sagged immediately in relief as Kaneki spoke, and finally, he let go of Kaneki's arms. Kaneki backed up as soon as he could, putting some distance between them. He rubbed at his arms, where they throbbed dully due to the strength of the man's grip and Kaneki's struggling. He hoped he wouldn't end up bruising…he did not want to deal with trying to explain that away on top of everything else.

 The tingling was gone almost as soon as he was released, which Kaneki was relieved to notice. It was odd. Why did part of him want to step back near the man in order to feel the sensation again?