A Disposable Husband

Kyle’s standing at the small porch staring up at the house, swallowing hard. He wonders what makes him feel more hesitant—the house itself, or the reason why he’s there in the first place. He has checked with the address he’d been given and yes, it’s the correct place. But this—this makes him feel like Alice in Wonderland.

The house is unlike the others around it. It looks almost—too cheerful. Like it belongs to a hippy withbright and sunshiny paintings and yellow and light purple flowers growing in the garden. Kyle almost expects to see a man in his early twenties with long hair, long beard, and a pair of round glasses comingout of the door. It’s quite unlikely, of course, for someone with that look to have the kind of service he offered Kyle. But then, you never know.

* * * *

Gardner jogs toward the front door as he hears a soft knock, arching an eyebrow as he thinks it’s just one more person who ignored the bell he put up just for that very reason, informing him someone is coming. Maybe they just didn’t see it, or they didn’t know they were supposed to press on one of the kitty’s eyes by the door.

Gardner strokes the parrot perching on his shoulder and it lets out small happy noises as it nuzzles into the back of Gardner’s ear.

“I’m coming,” he calls out when the caller raps against the door again. He turns the polished knob open and almost lets it go as he lays eyes upon the man standing there. This is the one who’s in need of his service? So hard to believe.

“Mr. Fray?” the man stammers and Gardner breaks into an obscenely wide grin.

“Never been called that in my life. Gardner will be good enough. Kyle Simmons?”

The man nods.

“Well, are we just going to stand out here or you want to come in? I make good lemonade.”

Kyle’s eyes flick into Gardner’s house through the slightly opened door and Gardner’s smile dims a little. He sighs, rather exaggeratedly.

“This is why I asked you to come. I don’t want you to think I’ll try to deceive you later.” Gardner knows Kyle must think him…unique. He shrugs inwardly. That’s how he is and he won’t change for anyone.

Not even for someone he’s marrying.

Gardner swings his hips as he leads Kyle inside, blatantly showing off his flowery Hawaiian shorts and rainbow-colored thin sleeveless shirt, and what’s under them. He’s proud of his body and he never hides it. They are his assets in his job, which make him the most sought after by men and women alike.

“So,” he says as he puts a jar of iced lemonade and two tall glasses on the small table in the living room. The jar is wet on the outside with condensation, and it makes the drink all the more appealing. He watches how Kyle licks his lower lip—he’s been doing that since the first time Gardner saw him on his doorstep. A habit of his? Gardner finds it rather adorable, and he suddenly thinks of things he’d rather have Kyle lick instead.

“So?” asks Kyle. He seems nervous. He watches with great interest at the beads of sweat collecting above Kyle’s upper lip, and suddenly Gardner wants to be the one doing the licking.

He gives himself a mental shake to get back to what he intended to say, feeling rather annoyed with himself to be distracted like this.

“So, how and what exactly do you want me to do as your husband?” Gardner asks. “Do you want me to be your good, stay-at-home little wife, do your cooking, be your eye candy at your office parties?”

Kyle’s face turns a shade of pink. “Not at all, no. It’s the other way around.”

That tickles Gardner. He flips through his files on Kyle in his mind. “What, you mean you’re going to play the wife?” He leans forward. “If I remember correctly, you’re a lawyer, right? At the Bocelli—”

“Keane and Bocelli,” finishes Kyle. “Yeah. I’m an associate there.”

“You must be busy at the office. I don’t think you’ll have the time to play the good housewife.”

“That’s the problem,” Kyle says quietly.

“What do you mean?”

“I have to prove that I’m a good home keeper so my ex-husband will want to take me back.”

That’s the most absurd reason from a client Gardner has ever heard. Usually it’s money or inheritance, but this?

“My husband,” explains Kyle. “was Antonio Bocelli, one of the partners in Bocelli, Keane, and Bocelli. He loves me, but he thought I was always too busy for him.”

“Yeah well, he’s your boss. Why didn’t he just fire you?”

“I told him that, but he said no. He didn’t want me to blame the job. He kept saying that I needed to try harder. He wanted me by his side, be his loving husband but at the same time I had to fulfill my assignments as well.”

Gardner thinks that Kyle has not realized that he has crossed the line into sharing his feelings. That makes Gardner feel a bit uneasy, like he is invading Kyle’s privacy or something.