3

A week passed by with my normal routine. TFIOS, sleeping, eating, working, studying and just repeating. I liked routines. A repeated order of actions. It gave a conviction that the universe didn't affect you. You create your universe inside your home with your own routine. It was, to me, a uniquely weird sense of sanity.

Today was Wednesday, which meant, today I meet him again, the guy to who I lent the copy of my book. I wonder what will be his thoughts about it. Not many can have the same opinion about the same book. It differs from person to person.

Basically, in TFIOS book, two people diagnosed with cancer, love each other and in the end, one dies. People consider it sad that he died and Hazel Grace wasn't loved widely. I had different beliefs. I wonder what he believes.

I spent the day with my 'routine' and finally, it timed 5:45 on the clock. I got ready and made my way towards my class. It took the usual time from my house to the class. I took my usual last bench. The new handsome guy arrived shortly after. He decided to sit on the bench ahead of me. We didn't exchange any words yet he greeted me with his eyes. Just looked at me for like 10 seconds and turned. I oddly felt like he wanted to say a lot of things but was choosing a specific time for it. Now was not that one.

The professor arrived at 4:05 and greeted us with his usual cheeriness.

"Good Evening Class! Please have your books inside your bag. They won't be needed today." He said with somewhat unusual happiness. I wondered what it was and by the looks of it, everyone did. There was a murmur going around the class and the professor seemed like he wanted this exact reaction, he seemed to be enjoying himself.

"Today we have a guest joining us!" he started. "My childhood friend that I had so longingly missed! But wonder where and what he is now? World's most famous psychologist, Arthur Smith!"

There was loud applause. I hadn't heard much of this guy, to be honest, but some of the students were excitedly whispering to each other. This guy was indeed famous, I guess.

"Evening, students," He said, his eyes observing each and every one. "As your professor has already introduced me, I will not do much. But yes let's discuss the purpose of me being here, don't you think?"

"Now, many of you guys have dropped out of school, or perhaps never attended one...due to our various reasons. We also have our own stories, that we every day go through, but we often hide the kind of darkness that kills us in different ways we don't even notice. Our stories might be happy, or perhaps sad, but however, it is...we need to have a side character in our story that is a shoulder...or a firm hand that you hold...anyone there to oppose?"

I heavily disagreed. With a very firm opinion that I was dying to scream out, but I just couldn't raise my hand. I just let him continue.

"We kinda suffocate ourselves with the things going around in our mind without anyone to share, and to be honest I am here to discuss most of the lives that people are giving away, without a care in the world...without thinking about anyone. So, today I would like to know your stories...and how you are coping with it or what are you going through because of it."

One by one everyone got up and told their stories. It went like-

"I am Romilda Clark, and I am kinda sad for the last few days, my dog passed away."

"Alas! Alas! Sad indeed." the psychologist replied.

"I am Daniel. I er...had a breakup," he said somewhat hesitant.

"Oh...and how are you coping with it?"

"I am trying to do well," he replied. And so it went. I zoned out for what felt like a minute and snapped back when I heard my name.

"Isabelle!"

"Y-yes?"

"Your story?" I was asked. I thought over it. I had a story. Everyone does. But I could not frame mine into words.

"I don't think I have one," I said. Arthur Smith raised his eyebrows.

"There is nothing to be afraid of, my dear," he said. "No one will judge you, you may say it without any fear."

"I don't have a fear," I was getting annoyed. "I know everyone has a story and I think I have one too, but it is not necessary for you to be able to put it into words. I respect your years of experience but I don't really think you go 'through' anything. There is no 'through'. Sometimes you don't hide the darkness, in fear that the world will judge you, but because there is no framing them into words. How do you shape darkness? And who says it is darkness? It can be light to someone who has never even known darkness. Sometimes we don't need to share our grief to cope, we just need some peace, and believe me, sir, people are not giving away their lives because they don't care, it's because they need peace, and in this world, we are kinda convinced, death is the only thing that gives peace."

There was silence. Everyone looked at me intently, when I heard a fine whisper in Edward's deep voice, "Gosh, aren't you something else?"

I kinda flushed and sat down without looking much at anyone.

"You may be right, Miss, but what in the world convinces you that death gives you peace?" Arthur differed. "Tell me, do you believe in an afterlife?"

"I don know" I said thinking, "Like, I won't deny there is nothing after death as only our body decays, and our soul remains, and something might be happening of it, something, I guess"

"There," he said, "How do you know you rest in peace, then?"

There is not much physical pain at least, I thought, but mental pain hurts more. I have never died though, so, I wouldn't have the correct idea.

"We still make wishes at the funeral about resting in peace, though." I reasoned. Arthur fell silent. He looked at me with a spark in his eye and a knowing smile and turned.

"Let's go ahead shall we?" he said. Everyone turned to Edward. He got up.

"I don't have a specific story." he said, "I am a normal boy from a normal land"

"Okay," Arthur said, "How about you share your beliefs about life and death?"

"Well...I don't think much about any of it, to be honest," Edward said, "You just live a life, try to do something heroic, make people remember you and then die one day, that's how it goes, as most people say."

"What do you say?"

"I had like it if people remember me for something. Even after my death, my name onto people's lips. I had like that."

"Okay"

"Thank you" Edward sat down. It went on for hours until we could finally be dispersed.

"I see your beliefs" I heard Edward from behind when I was walking downstairs, out of the class.

"How do you see beliefs?" I said, "Is it solid?"

"Well, yours are." He said, with a crooked smile. "Quite firm and logical and emotional and sentimental and-

"You mean you agree?" I asked.

"Maybe" he replied. I chuckled.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing."

"Oh, come on, what is it?"

"Nothing" He quieted down.

"Fancy a coffee?" he asked stopping in his tracks.

"Asking me out are you?" I asked, laughing. He rolled his eyes, laughing too.

"Don't get your hopes too high, Miss Carter," he said.

"Okay, Mr Sanchez," I said laughing.

We walked a few miles and found a warm, cosy cafe. We chose a table for two and ordered two cappuccinos. I know it might have seemed rude, but I still took out TFIOS. I could feel Edward's eyes on me but I didn't say anything.

"What is your favourite genre in books?" he asked. I closed my book and placed my elbows on the table with my chin in my palm.

"I don't have a specific, but I am kinda embarrassed by the books I often enjoy," I said with a guilty smile

He smirked, "Like?"

"The books where the villain burns down the world for the girl he loves," I said. I expected Edward to comment something intelligent like he always does, but instead, something red flashed in his eyes as if dark grey clouds were covering up the golden swimming flakes of his irises. He clenched his jaw and looked away, his nerve pulsating in his forehead.

"Hey?" I said. "Everything fine?" His nerve calmed down a little. He adjusted his posture and flashed his Edwardy-smile again, but something still felt off.

"I just liked your choice of books," he said, "Tell me, what would you do if the villain in your life becomes me?"

I laughed, "I get your flirting in the most unusual ways. I like it though."

"You are ignoring my question, miss."

"Well...If you are the villain in my life, I had love to know how you burn down the world. It varies from villain to villain."

He chuckled and bit his lip, "Cool"

"Very cool," I agreed, my eyes flashing at his actions, yet my brain trying to ignore it with my full will.

"Well...let's part?" I said looking down at the watch. He looked at me with a little disappointment.

"What," I asked.

"So philosophical about everything and still prefers the word 'part'." He mumbled. My heart fluttered.

"What had to be the correct term then?"

"Let's meet soon," he said smirking. I laughed and rolled my eyes. I liked this guy.

"See you then?"

"See ya"

I took my backpack and walked out of the cafe. I looked back at him once with my one hand on the handle of the door and waved.

He waved back but his brown irises never turned from grey to brown. They remained grey throughout our talks.