The big bad wolf

As Laila continued to stare at her husband, Jake had started talking to her. Words that fell on deaf ears as she was far from listening. Laila's mind was still in her past, specifically in the early years of her relationship with Jake as she remembered Jake's hypocrisy when it came to having friends of the opposite sex. She could still remember it all so clearly.

While she was busy blaming cheating allegations on angles and telling people that those girls were just his friends. Telling them, and if she was being completely honest, herself as well, that she wasn't so insecure as to not let him have female friends. But despite her convincing tone, it was clear to everyone around her that those words weren't her own. Her excuses reeked of Jake, as it was in fact something he had put in her brain and not something she herself actually thought was the truth. But even though that was the case, no one seemed to be able to reach her, as it was the truth she wanted to believe. The toxicity in their relationship didn't stop there. Because while she was supposed to be okay with whatever he was doing, Jake certainly wasn't okay with her hanging out with other boys or having them as her friends. Where he considered it a lack of trust in her case, in his case it was him protecting her from the big bad wolf that was men.

She recalled him saying that he trusted her completely BUT that she was such an amazing person, so beautiful, that he could not trust other men to not take advantage of a situation if it was presented to them. Saying that it was a cruel fact about life that he would be able to fend for himself if a woman tried something on him but that it would be hard for her to keep a man away if he wanted to do something to her.

By ending his arguments with saying that he didn't want to lose her and that he couldn't vouch for himself if something did happen to her, he would ask her if she didn't think it best that they prevent such a thing from ever happening rather than losing what they had over some unnecessary risks. At first she went along with him. At first she kind of liked this jealous side of him, but soon it turned into a toxic masculinity that was making her feel like a caged bird. Slowly losing her wings and her sense of freedom.

So, when he decided to take matters even further and asked her if he wasn't enough. If he couldn't be her only and best (male) friend, she could no longer go along with his wishes. Though she would agree with him on most things, even if for the sole reason that she was left with no way to argue back, this was one subject they could never agree on as she couldn't give up on the closest friend she had. She was fine with giving up every single male acquaintance and friend but not him. Not the friend she had grown up with and lived next to, the person she had know all her life, her very own childhood friend. Their back and forth on the subject caused new problems for them on top of the old ones, causing an unhealthy relationship to turn into a full on toxic one.

A relationship that was great on some days and downright horrendous on others. They would break up and make up on almost a monthly basis. She kept forgiving him. She kept going back. All because she had convinced herself that he loved her, that he could change, that he would change. For her. All because she wanted to get out of that live she had, the life of poverty that she could not appreciate for what it was at that time. It was too much for a young girl to handle and resist. With each lie, each fight, each breakup, another friend would be done with her behaviour and could no longer look at her tormenting herself by going back to him. She would make matters even worse by picking fights and calling her friends jealous whenever they tried to convince her that Jake wasn't a good guy or at least not the right guy for her. Making her large group of friends, dwindle till there were almost none left. Leaving her with only Maria and the childhood friend that she would lose a few years later. But that was a different story.

Laila's mind instead focussed on their first real break, which came after she caught him in the act, after almost four years of on again off again. That day was when her world crumbled before her eyes. It was a regular weekday and she had come to visit Jake after her last class. After not being able to reach him on the phone, she asked around and found out where he was from one of his friends. But when she arrived at the karaoke bar where he was supposed to be hanging out, ready to give him a surprise, she got a surprise instead. A very unpleasant surprise at that. Because she ended up walking in on him cheating on her before she was even able to say 'Hello'.

Seeing the girl he claimed to be a friend, lying in his arms, the two of them kissing out in the open as if none of what they were doing was wrong. That was when she realized that he wasn't the guy she had built him up to be in her mind and she figured that he had probably been cheating on her those other times as well. Even if he had been innocent all those times before, there was no amount of proof he could present her in order to make her believe him a second time. Having nothing more left that she wanted to save, Laila ended things for real. She barged inside, told him she was done and refused to hear his explanations. The next day she gave Jake back all the stuff, blocked his number and ignored him every chance she got. But time would show that Jake was too good at charming his way out of things to make matters stay that way.