Wargod the Friendzoned
A vehicle drove in the early night, its headlights brightened the somber asphalt. The ever present street lights bathed a city with incandescent luminosity, leaving only a few places where darkness prevail. Reaching one of the most lively and populated area of the urban background, the deep grey car slowed down.
"Oh well, that's one big traffic jam. Guess we will arrive home a little late."
A man in his 30s stated while looking at a long line of barely moving automobiles. Blackish hair complemented his dark shirt and pants, while his bluish glasses emphasized the darkish hue of his eyes. His large build comfortably sat on the driver's seat and he sighed.
"It's not like we're in a rush, Dave. We have two whole days to relax ."
With short chestnut hair and hazel eyes, a tall woman casually replied while gently stroking a head full of messy black hair, placed on her lap. She wore a crimson shirt and a similarly dark pants. A small, reddish birthday hat was lying next to the woman, while a figurine of a muscular superhero was held on a boy's hands. A soft smile lingered while the woman looked at her little bundle of joy. Shifting her gaze, she suddenly said, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes.
"With all the things he ate, he won't wake up until tomorrow. Don't worry, we will have all the time to 'relax'."
Hearing what the woman said, Dave abruptly straightened his back, and looked behind him, a knowing grin plastered on his face.
"I have built a lot of 'stress' since we left home, Emma. I don't think your special 'massages' will be enough to lower my 'pressure'."
As two adults began having a very strange conversation while giving each other indecent looks, a child was carefully listening to the cryptic messages while faking his own sleep. Minutes passed and as the couple continued their rituals, the black haired child finally lost it.
"Hahahahaa!!!"
A roar echoed, and like a hyena getting choked to death, a kid was rolling around his seat while firmly holding his bellybutton. A couple suddenly froze and asked the still laughing ten year old.
"D-did you hear what we said?"
The fatherly figure looked at his descendance, his lips slightly wavered.
"Hahah... why are you guys using these weird words to say that you want to hump like rabbits."
A father blushed in shame and looked away, while a mother intensely gazed at her son. Feeling his progenitor's merciless gaze, like his father, he looked away. Abruptly, Emma grabbed the back haired boy's right ear.
"I'll teach you not to listen to adult conversations."
"You mean adult sex-"
A woman twisted a small ear, and a child agonized for unknown amounts of time.
...
"Not again." Grunting, a man slowly woke up. Regaining his consciousness, the badly injured figure felt the presence of someone scrutinizing him, someone dangerous for his current self. However, he did not feel any killing intent from the presence. Slightly feeling relieved, he opened his eyes, and was then welcomed by a brown ceiling.
"Hey, you're finally awake."
His eyes slowly adjusted to the new environment and he looked around him. A place similar to a cave, dimly lit by a campfire in the middle. He felt slight cold despite the warm heat emanating from the center of the cave. He looked beyond the campfire and peered at the outside. Deep darkness dominated the ambiant surroundings. Using his heightened senses, he could feel some slight movement quickly traversing a sandy domain.
Focusing back to the cave, he observed a figure roasting something above the fire. A slender shape was sitting in a cross legged position. Platine hairstyle cascaded until it reached the back. And like a still lake, yellow pupils gazed at an exotic piece of meat floating in the air, and rotating itself above the source of heat. Piece of clothing seemingly made out of animal skin covered the feminine figure.
Sizzling sounds were heard and a flagrant smell slowly woke up the rest of Blake's lethargic senses.
'System, who is that woman? I don't remember someone like her in the story.'
[Her physical appearance matches a barely mentioned character]
[It is said that Wargod Arcturus once courted another transcendant, admiring her personality and power]
[The latter however politely refused his advances and preferred to focus on her ascension to the next realm of transcendance]
[To prove his worth, the Wargod challenged her and the two transcendants fought for over two earth days]
[She eventually lost and was stripped of the majority of her powers by Arcturus and was later imprisoned in an unknown location]
[Every few years or so, the transcendant would come back and asks the woman to reconsider her decision]
[Which the woman systematically refuses while trying to cut off the man's head]
Ending its explanation, the system turned quiet once again. Blake, however could not help himself and launched a few glances at the silent figure.
'Shiit, what the hell is wrong with this place. First the cosmic dragons, and now a literal transcendant? And wait, you're telling me the Wargod got friendzoned?'
[Affirmative]
*Wheeze*
His mind a chaotic mess, Blake lampooned a god while occasionally insulting a man who obtained a Wargod legacy in another timeline.
"You must be mentally challenged to wake up a juvenile Jortur and then laughing after escaping death."
The platine woman said, looking away from the floating meat and locking eyes with the man, while a light smile bloomed on her face.
"What can I say, It's my way of expressing the happiness of living another day."
The battered man slowly sat up with difficulty and smiled back at the woman.
"I suppose you didn't save me because of your kindness miss...?
"Aelith. You can call me Aelith." The platine haired Aelith replied while curiously gazing at the man's eyes.
"And yes, you are the only person I have seen for years except for... a very annoying animal. Which means that you managed to somehow enter this domain, right?"
Like a lamb against a wolf, the man felt like the woman could read his every movement like an opened book.
Something in his mind told him that lying would easily be detected by the platine haired woman, which coupled with the system's warnings stopped him from trying his luck.
"You're right. I've heard about the Warlord legacy and I found a way to track the entrance of his domain."
Blake honestly answered, his metaphorical gears spinning faster as he thought about various things.
"So he's really dead." Muttering to herself, she then refocused her yellow eyes on Blake.
"How long has he been dead and who killed him."
"I've heard that he died 2 months ago, killed by a Seraphim." The man slowed down his speech and looked at Aelith.
"Seraphim." Muttering the word, the woman's expression slightly flinched.
"Does this mean that "they" are advancing?"
"Hmm my world is currently being invaded by "them" actually. And because of it, I awakened various powers including the knowledge of the transcendants."
Aelith's intense gaze focused on Blake, while the latter tried not to do anything stupid that would give the woman a reason to kill him.
"Very satisfactory explanation, mortal. But there is just one thing that bothers me."
Bells internally rang inside Blake's mind, while the latter slightly tensed.
"I have been talking while switching to various languages since the start of our conversation. Yet, you managed to follow me without any difficulties.
"Did I?"
"Of course. I would not really find it strange if it was the Sage's blessing, however..."
While Blake wore the nicest smile a trusty politician would have towards his citizens, in his mind however, he was internally prepared to flee at the slightest killing intent.
'I'm fu*ked, so fu*ked'. System, get ready to buy a Trial if she tries anything. I don't care if the friendzoned Wargod notice me anymore, my life is more important.'
[Affirmative]
Quickly replying, the system opened a small panel before the man's eyes and a Trial was displayed and ready to be bought at any moment.
"You also understand the transcendant language. Something that should be impossible to bestow, even for the Sage himself. I feel many things from you, but not the energy that transcendants usually possess."
The woman slowly got up and approached Blake.
"So, tell me."
Looking at the man whose burned back was against the wall, she asked.
"Are you an enemy?"
His heart suddenly raced, Blake knew the woman could easily kill him even in her weakened state.
"I'm not an enemy. I'm just someone trying to survive this mess of a reality. And if waking up a Jortur would make me stronger, then I'll do it again."
And before Blake could react..
*Crack*
Something penetrated a hard surface. Blake looked at his right and saw a spike embedded into the wall a few centimeters from his left ear. The sharp stick was decorated with exotic meat while greasy juices dripped occasionally from the tantalizing food.
"Good answer."
Aelith looked at a dazed Blake, amusement written all over her face.
Walking back to the cozy campfire, she sat in the same crossed legged position and said.
"Eat while it's still hot."
Blake took a few seconds to come back to reality. Taking a look at the skewer, he absentmindedly took it and started eating, his heart easing up as seconds passed by.
'System?'
[Yes]
'This lady knows how to make skewers, this meat is way too good. I think we'll become good friends.'
[...]
[Host was almost killed]
'Hey, free skewer, system.'
[...]
In a large cave, a man was happily munching on an appetizing meat while a woman occasionally sent curious glances at the latter.
...