17 Chapter 17 - Pain
"So, is that your real answer..?" Haruki didn't want to ask that question. But, it slipped away from his cold lips. His heart was broken. He couldn't explain how bad it's shattered, and the pain he felt inside his dying chest; to the point he thinks he should give up because Lucian didn't even want to fix their broken relationship.
"Are you deaf? You heard me. I wouldn't say it twice." Lucian's firm tone stabbed the silver ash haired man like a sharp sword.
"You're right... I was forgetting we are sex friend only, nothing else. Therefore I'm sorry if I got carried away." His dead eyes looked at Lucian. "So, I guess we should move to our true agenda now, we shouldn't waste time." Haruki grabbed the other's hand and walked towards the car. He started the car engine, leaving that place. Those two were silent in the car, Lucian couldn't care less. He just wanted this to get over soon. He felt suffocated in his lung. He didn't want to continue this even further because he didn't want to expose there's still some pieces of love for his lover.
The night drive felt so long as if the world stopped even though Haruki sped up his car. To be honest, he didn't want the night changed to the next day as he still didn't want to let go of his ex lover.
But, a miracle didn't happen.
Lucian already said that.
He couldn't do anything for now.
The car stopped at the familiar place. Lucian realized they went back to his house.
"Why did you stop here? You want to do sex at my house?"
"No." Haruki replied short without looking back.
"You can go back and rest for now. The date is over now."
"Huh? What do you mean?" Lucian was irked.
"Go back now. I'm not in the mood to do it. It's no point to do it when you didn't even want to do it from what I see. So, get out now before I kick you out by force, Lucian." For the first time, he called his lover Lucian which he never imagined he would do. But, the other really tested his patience a lot. The sadness now turned into disappointment to the anger at which he failed to control his emotions. Lucian then gets out of the car, leaving with an angry face. Little he didn't know a tear fell from his eyes.
The car then left that place, along with Haruki in sorrowful thoughts.
Forgive me…
I never want to hurt you…
But you keep running away from me…
If this is how you want, then I will let you go…
Even if you don't love me anymore, I still love you...
And nothing will change that…
Even if you said stop, I couldn't…
I couldn't control this heart…
I couldn't control this love…
Because I love you too much…
The air was so cold after the rain stopped. Haruk lightened up his cigarette and blew the smoke to the air. The sky was still cloudy like his thoughts. He could see his reflection in the puddle. His expression mirrored his visible sadness. Miserable is the correct word if there's someone see his face right now. It is noticeable as his eyes were red since he just stopped from crying.
"Now, how about you show yourself now before I punched you?"
"That's the Homura's clan leader. Always notice someone's presence." Haruki knew that familiar voice. It's none other than Chaos.
"What are you doing here, Mr. Bodyguard? I thought you already went home." He didn't bother to look at his fellow follower as he continued to smoke.
"Well, of course I won't be here if it's not because of a mission given. The enemy sure is so annoying, giving me no space to get rest. But, what are you doing here, young master? What's with that funny face you showed me? Ah, don't tell me the date kinda fucked up?" Chaos' annoying words were enough to make Haruki become more angry as he took out his revolver from his jacket, ready to shoot him. But Chaos was faster as he quickly dodge and put the blade near the other's neck.
"Tsk, I'm just teasing you. Young master gets angry too easily. It's not like you're not used to my teasing like before." He took the blade away from Haruki's neck as he had no intention to hurt his boss.
"Listen, if you continue to do that, I will make sure to shoot deep inside your mouth."
"Feel free to do that if you can. Anyway, you might need to get away now. Lord knows if maybe the enemy sent the reinforcement since I just killed some of their friends."
"What mission did you actually have? I didn't remember sending you to do the mission." Haruki asked, looking confused.
"Ah, correction. It's the mission from the Asami clan. Ah! Before I forget, they want me to let you know that they're expecting you to show a good performance."
"Impatient, are they? Especially Asami Reiga, despite already retired, he's sure still has the stamina to get involved in clan matters. He should let his grandson do his job." Haruki finally smiled a bit. It felt as if Chaos was there to comfort him.
Well, he thought that's impossible since his follower is an assassin that has no emotion at all.
"Hey Chaos, are you down to get some drinks?"
"Sounds good."
