He's a failure.
He failed as a man,a father and as a husband.
Looking right at the mirror was a man who was nothing, but a carnal human being who's lost everything that meant alot to him.
All because of the useless ego,and his inability to trust the love he had ,but that's until he questioned it and now he had nothing.
Neither the love or the people who he thought were not going to leave,he has lost everything!
Antonio couldn't sleep a wink tonight,not that he expected himself to be comfortable with his sleep, not after what just happened.
The insomnia was on another level,that he knew not even taking the sleeping pills,that wouldn't be able to soothe the pain in his heart right now if he slept.
He needs the pain to still feel that he's alive,but rather he feels nothing, because he's been preparing for this day for a long time.