Naruto: The Sky Livestreams the Future

Kamishiro Hagoromo won the reincarnation lottery: a blessed face, a genius mind, and a killer Lightning Release. His dream? A peaceful, easy life in a romantic comedy. The universe had other plans. It dropped him into the Third Shinobi War and assigned him to its most volatile, forbidden asset: Uzumaki Kushina, the Red-Hot Habanero and Konoha's living secret weapon. Now, trapped between a teacher who treats him as her personal entertainment and a battlefield that chews up prodigies for breakfast, Hagoromo must use every cheat he knows. His goal isn't to become Hokage, or a legend. It’s to make it to the front lines alive. The greatest threat to his mission, however, isn't the enemy—it's the teacher who's supposed to prepare him for it.

Ash Ketchum speedruns destiny. Day one: Catch shiny Magikarp. Day two: Evolve it into Gyarados. Day three: Save Charmander. Day four: Recruit a thousand-year-old Ghost Pokémon. Day five: Make Team Rocket question every life choice that led them here. The Gym Leaders think he's talented. His traveling companions think he's lucky. Team Rocket thinks he's a demon in a red cap. None of them know the truth: Ash already lived this life once. He already knows every move they'll make. He's already won this game. He's just here for the New Game Plus.

I stood there the day Madara chose Hashirama over his own clan. Watched him trade a thousand years of Uchiha blood for a handshake and a dream. And I realized— This man would rather die for peace than live for his people. So I walked. Not out of fear. Not out of weakness. But because someone had to remember what it meant to be Uchiha before we became Konoha's problem children. Now my village pays its shinobi before missions—not after they bleed. My ANBU don't break civilians with batons—they break supply lines with contracts. And when Kumogakure's Raikage marched ten thousand men toward my borders? I didn't deploy a single ninja. I just leaked one rumor to the right merchant guild. Three days later, their soldiers mutinied over empty pay pouches. You can't fight an army when your own treasury's been hollowed out by flower speculation. Welcome to the shinobi world's first hostile takeover. Bring your wallet. Leave your pride.

Bought a dead ranch. Inherited a war machine. Kangaskhan. Pregnant. Unforgiving. Poachers came for the Pokémon. Left in the soil. The Iron Mother doesn't raise crops. She raises hell.

Crocodile thought a rookie from the East Blue was easy prey. He was wrong. When a seventeen-year-old boy awakens SSS-Rank Haki in the Alabasta desert, the Grand Line learns a new definition of terror—one that wears a straw hat and doesn't take prisoners.

I'm not here to save the Uchiha. I'm here to avenge them. There's a difference. You'll see it when the sun rises red.