Chapter 7 - That day

⚠️ Trigger warning ⚠️

⚠️ Read at you own risk ⚠️

⚠️ Contains very sensitive part ⚠️

Monday again. The laziest day fo the week. I'm so sick about this.

I arrived in the room sweating profusely. Imagine the distance from the gate until this building and your room is on the fourth floor. I almost got late. What a nice Monday.

They were all looking at me. Did I commit a crime?

I just ignored it, I just sat in my seat and opened my notebook which was full of plans.

What can be done in the remaining 16 days?

Science time. Our good teacher organized us into a group. This is so nice. Sharon, Mari, Ian, and two other classmates were just in my group.

I just quietly listened to their conversation. They are already assigning what we will bring on Friday.

And that is where our interaction ends. Before I go home, I will buy items first. Our meeting adjourned.

They talked about Amor again. But I ignored them. I don't want to stress myself. As usual, I skipped the recess again.

"I always see you here. Are you still eating?" Ed asked.

I just nodded at him. I don't want to read anything now. I just want to get away from my classmates first. I remember what I did before.

* Flashback

"Sadie, I forgot to bring that item. Can you take it? It's in plastic, just next to my seat." Sharon commanded with a soft tone.

Sadie? they're so, plastic. Why not just use the code name? After all, I know who that is. You have the strength to say that to my back. I hope I can say that all.

"All right." I answered.

We have an experiment to do in the science lab. And yes, Sharon and I are in a group. Why is it like that? Of all people, I was grouped with them. Seriously, our teacher is heartless.

I went to the room right away, and there was no one here.

I immediately went to Sharon's seat and carried the plastic.

This?

It is said that it is used for frog poisoning. Is it also effective to humans?

I already left the room. I slowly made my way to the science lab.

Wondering if .... what would happen if I drink this thing?

After all, they will be happy when I am gone.

My heart beats faster.

Can I do it?

I went to the girls' CR, still carrying this item.

There are a lot of questions bothering me.

"Can you do it?"

"Will they be happy if I do this?"

"Will my family be happy because there is no more burden in the house?"

"Will I be happy to do this?"

I looked at myself in the mirror. See. That is the face of the loser.

Face of a shame, at school and at home.

I put the plastic bag in the sink and took out the item. Only my breath can be heard inside the CR. My uniform is soaked with sweat.

"SADIE !!" I heard one of my group member shouted. "HEY! What are you doing there?"

"huh?" we looked at each other. I'm not in myself anymore.

"We're waiting for you. Come on. We need it now." She held my hand, and took it.

We entered the Science lab together as if nothing had happened.

* end of flashback

I remember that day again .... I almost ... committed suicide.

Fortunately, I still remember the past. Because I don't want to do it again, I will NEVER really do it again.

I was too selfish then. I do not think of the people who are important to me. Now, I appreciate the life that has been given to me. And I will never waste this chance.

"Sadie?" Ed held my shoulder and I looked at him. "Why are you crying?" he asked.

I touched my cheek. There are tears dripping from my eyes.

"Because ..... I'm not okay."