Loneliness

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Confessing had done Adam a lot of good. For a brief moment, he had felt relieved of the immense weight that had been crushing both his body and his mind.

As he left the cathedral, he felt liberated, but that feeling didn't last more than a week. Even though he had been able to share his problems with someone, they hadn't disappeared. He still felt like a stranger in this time, if not in this world, as it was so different from the one he knew. More than an intruder, he saw himself as an impostor. He was pretending to be someone he was not, spending his days playing a role. Often, he doubted. Was he playing his role, or was he acting sincerely? This question kept coming back and haunted him even in his dreams.

This feeling manifested itself as a strong sense of loneliness. Even though there were people around him, he was the only one with these problems.

As Jean had hinted a little before he went to the Magdeburg Cathedral, he had tried to chase away his loneliness by getting closer to a girl, a local named Ida. She was younger than him as François, but a bit older than him as Adam.

She was very beautiful, fresh as morning dew, sparkling like fireworks, and full of energy. She radiated an aura of purity that one could only find in children from his original era, whose minds were still untouched by everything found on the Internet and television. She also had a rural charm that made you want to simply walk with her through wheat fields and pick wildflowers.

"Haaa…"

A long moan echoed near his ear.

He could feel her warm breath on his neck and the softness of her skin against his. Her breasts, round and generous, far more so than Brunhilde's or Joanna's, rubbed against his muscular chest, the result of several months of rigorous training.

"Haaa, yes!"

Her nails, long and cruel like a tiger's claws, dug into the skin of his back, while her splendid and seductive body, like that of a succubus, wrapped around him.

Despite being stimulated by all the sensations flooding his brain, the young corporal felt empty. He had high expectations when entering this room lit by two candles, but he couldn't focus on the moment or truly enjoy it. It was almost as if he were moving like a robot.

Adam decided to quicken the pace and became more aggressive as if to drown out his thoughts. Surprised, the woman let out a high-pitched cry and bit his neck lightly before softly kissing him in the same spot. Her blood-red, plump lips invited anyone who saw them to press theirs against hers and devour them like a sweet treat.

Lying on top of her, Adam couldn't see the expression on her face, but her moans and jerky movements left little doubt about his ability to satisfy his partner for the night.

Is she faking it? Is this her way of playing her role? If so, it's very convincing, thought the young man, his muscles tense, especially in his arms, as they worked hard to keep from crushing the woman.

They responded to each other's gestures, adjusting their movements to reach a higher level of pleasure, as if they were having a silent conversation. Adam felt the brunette's legs slide up his hips and lock around him as if to hold him captive.

Even though he should have been pleased by the seemingly genuine reactions of the young woman, the emptiness inside him grew deeper, intensifying his discomfort when he should have been happy to spend the night with such a beautiful woman. Almost out of guilt, he kissed her neck while caressing her with his firm, calloused hands.

"O-oh, yes! K-keep going!" she murmured, her body growing warmer by the second.

I don't intend to stop now, Adam thought inwardly, maintaining the intense pace.

The temperature in the room had steadily risen since they began their game in the bed. Now, it was like a sauna. A powerful scent emanated from their two sweat-covered bodies, but neither of them cared. All they thought about were their senses, stimulated to the extreme.

Feeling boredom creeping in, Adam had an idea.

Let's try this position. Maybe it'll help me refocus. Damn it, what's wrong with me?! Why am I not satisfied?! Why do I feel so alone?!

The French soldier detached his lips from the neck of the young woman with long, dark hair cascading like a river of ink over her white shoulders and sat up. The movement surprised the woman, but she let him continue, as he seemed to know what he was doing.

"W-what?"

Now, he could better admire her beauty. She had a devilish charm with her perfect curves and delicate features. Her chest glistened with sweat under the soft glow of the candles, casting their dancing shadows on the simple, cracked walls.

"Just relax, I think you're going to like this," Adam whispered as he positioned his hands under the woman's round, tender thighs, who was both intrigued and excited.

Anyway, this seemed to work in the pornos I've seen. I think it went like this…

Slowly, he lifted the long, slender legs of his partner, and soon they were resting on Adam's shoulders. More and more surprised, she watched the soldier resume his movements, and instantly she understood. New sensations, new stimulation. She felt as though she might lose her mind.

"Oh! Oooooh, my God! Oh, my God! Ah! Yes! It's good!" she gasped, breathless.

Her cries, louder than ever, echoed throughout the building they occupied, attracting the attention of the soldiers sitting and chatting downstairs, sheltered from the hailstorm whitening the streets. It should have embarrassed them, but these were Richelieu's soldiers. They had seen, heard, and done far worse since the beginning of this campaign. Then again… That woman with whom the young corporal had gone upstairs was screaming awfully loud.

The bed, which they could clearly hear, was hitting the wall violently and at regular intervals, so much so that it seemed like the wall might give way.

Finally, there was a loud cry, and everything stopped.

A few moments later, the corporal reappeared, his face impassive and his purse lighter. Indeed, this woman wasn't the one he had tried to seduce a few days earlier, but a prostitute. She had been following the army since practically the first day, making her living by renting out her splendid body.

Her name was Agnès, and she was very popular within the army. Almost every soldier, at least those who could afford it, had used her services. Even the officers paid her visits. She was indeed very expensive, as she was the most beautiful among all the women who followed the army with the sole purpose of getting rich. Some hoped to find among these men a protector who would become their husband.

As for the young and innocent Ida, Adam had not been able to seduce her despite his handsome face. To be completely honest, he had miserably failed and had been rejected like never before. It had shocked him, as he had confidence in his face and well-built body. Even in his original time, he had never been rejected in such a way. He had no choice but to accept it and hadn't approached her since.

However, the young woman seemed somewhat receptive to his charms. They had spoken a few times, and she smiled at him. And what a smile! She could have been mistaken for an angel fallen from the sky!

Ida had beautiful blonde hair, as golden as wheat and carefully braided, very beautiful blue eyes like a summer sky, and skin as white as fresh milk. She was one of the three daughters of a local craftsman, a weaver, who was neither rich nor poor.

On the fifth of February, the morning of the day he went to the cathedral for his very first confession, he had gone to see her and had taken his chance by approaching her face-to-face. He had tried to hold her by the hips and wanted to kiss her, but she had stepped back three paces to escape him. Her face had then become terribly serious, and her smile had suddenly disappeared.

When he tried to ask her what was wrong, whether he was moving too fast, she had almost gotten angry. Adam was completely lost at that moment because, from his perspective, there was nothing wrong with his actions. He had tried, she had said no, and that was that. But not for her, apparently.

To her, what he had attempted to do was not insignificant. Relationships between a man and a woman, she had explained, were very serious matters that involved more than just the two lovers. In fact, it could very much affect the reputation of the young girl and her family, starting with her parents.

Adam was a soldier, a French soldier, no less. His fate was to leave and possibly never return. Even if his intentions were clear, which they weren't as marriage hadn't been mentioned, he remained, and would forever remain, a stranger and an invader.

Ida's parents would never accept such a relationship. And if they decided to be intimate despite that, her reputation, as well as her father's, would be ruined! She would be dishonored, and if he decided to abandon her, no one else would want her. It would be even worse if she were to become pregnant by misfortune. She would be condemned to live alone in shame with a fatherless child!

Adam had been so taken aback by all this that he was left speechless.

While he had noticed many differences between his time and this one, there were still many things he needed to understand. He severely lacked common sense, and what had happened that day was proof of that.

He had thus realized that, unlike in his time, women in this era cared greatly about their reputation and that of their family, and they didn't see relationships outside of marriage in a positive light. Here, women often married without having a say, for the good of the family and for their own security, as the man had the sacred duty of caring for and supporting his wife.

He had struggled to understand all of this and initially thought it was a joke. He had then made the mistake of taking it lightly, which had truly angered young Ida. He had imagined that the beautiful blonde was simply shy, but that was not the case.

She had then been clearer and had asked never to see him again.

"Well, you sure made a lot of noise, corporal! Haha! We thought you were trying to destroy this house!"

The soldiers, even though they were of a lower rank than him, laughed heartily when they heard their comrade, a huge, vulgar-looking man, physically close to Jean's build.

Adam didn't reply and walked to the counter where he ordered a beer. In no time, his drink was ready and placed in front of him. It didn't taste great, but he was very thirsty after such an effort. The liquid disappeared in just a few gulps, which inspired a bit of respect from the soldiers, even though they too could hold their liquor.

Before he realized it, he was involved in a drinking contest with other soldiers, including the tall one, a French grenadier named Martin Lesaint. He didn't try to avoid it and even hoped to forget his loneliness, which seemed even deeper than before, with a large quantity of alcohol.

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His vision was blurry, and his steps unsteady. Fortunately, the beers he had drunk were not very strong, because otherwise, he would have been rolling on the ground, and it's a wreck that Captain Gilbert would have found when entering Mauritz's tavern, or Moe's, as the regulars called it.

"Come on, pull yourself together!" ordered the captain, very upset and disappointed with his corporal's behavior.

"Y-yes!" mumbled Adam, following his officer as best he could to the royal house.

He tried his hardest to walk properly, but it was hard to appear sober. The uneven ground, scattered with large foul-smelling puddles here and there, seemed unstable, and the walls wobbled like the surface of the ocean. His attention drifted like an abandoned lifeboat after a shipwreck, and he had a taste of vomit in his mouth.

His meal had ended up in a large pot not far from Mauritz's counter after a few beers, while the grenadier Martin Lesaint was still standing and drinking his umpteenth beer without difficulty. By the end, he had lost count, but kept drinking everything that was served to him.

"Stand up straight and adjust that uniform!" grumbled the captain, helping him in front of the door to the office that the colonel occupied. "Alright, it's not great, but it'll do. Just try to talk as little as possible, okay?"

"U-understood."

Even with that much alcohol in his blood, Adam's mind was clear enough to understand that he was in trouble or soon would be if he misbehaved in front of Colonel de Bréhant, whom he was now supposed to meet.

KNOCK KNOCK

"Colonel, I've brought Corporal François Boucher as you ordered."

"Thank you, captain. You may stay; this won't take long. Corporal, the reason I've asked to see you is to inform you of the progress regarding the ransom for His Majesty the King of Prussia and His Highness Prince Henry, as promised."

Immediately, François—or rather Adam—felt his mind clear. Discreetly, he wiped his sweaty hands on the fabric of his uniform.

"The ransom for King Frederick II has been set at one hundred and fifty thousand livres and for his brother at one hundred thousand livres."

Hearing these figures, Adam was shocked because since his time travel, he had learned, at least partially, the value of money in this era. A simple infantry soldier earned about ten livres per month. From that, he could roughly imagine the fortune this amount represented.

Of course, it was important to remember that at Rossbach, many other officers and soldiers had been captured, which meant that the King of France was going to make a lot of money. Typically, a third of it went to the king. Since the Duke of Richelieu was responsible for this great victory, he was bound to receive a significant share of all the ransoms.

"To give you a comparison," the colonel thought it wise to add, "an infantry soldier can be ransomed by the enemy for four livres."

"F-four livres?!"

Is that all we're worth?! What is that, the equivalent of ten chickens?!

"You'll receive your share as soon as His Majesty has collected the portion that is rightfully his, as well as His Grace the Duke of Richelieu and his most deserving officers. However, this may take some time, so I ask you to be patient and not to waste all your wages foolishly, whether it be on women of low virtue… or alcohol."

Immediately, Adam felt his face flush with shame. It was as if he had been caught with his hand in a jar of sweets.

"I-I… I apologize, my lord!"

The colonel looked alternately at the corporal and the captain standing before him.

"Corporal, a mistake is only a mistake as long as it's corrected. It becomes a fault when it is repeated, knowing that what you're doing is wrong. It is bad for you as well as for the men under your responsibility. If you want to keep your rank and progress within the King's armies, you must become an example, a source of inspiration."

"Y-yes, Colonel!"

"Then prove yourself worthy of your stripes and behave accordingly. Alcohol turns people into fools, and as for women, they are a constant temptation for men. They invite disorder, laziness, and lust. Keep your distance, and you'll be better off. And your purse will thank you for it."

"M-may I ask, Colonel, how I should use the money I'll receive from the ransoms for His Majesty and His Highness?"

"Well, you could send it in full or in part to your family, where it would be safe. Or you could purchase a charge, for example."

Purchase a charge? Ah! He means buy a rank! I can do that? Ah, but I don't know what rank I can buy with the money I'll receive! I don't even know how much I'll get!

"C-could I buy a captain's charge?"

Colonel de Bréhant and Captain Gilbert had the same reaction, raising an eyebrow in surprise at the bold statement from this young corporal. Seeing their reaction, Adam belatedly realized that he had just said something foolish.

"Young man," the colonel began patiently, "do not underestimate the value of ranks. That of captain is an officer's rank. Not all charges can be purchased with gold. Even if you had the money, His Majesty, along with many nobles, would oppose such a purchase. It's simply not reasonable."

"Oh..." Adam murmured with disappointment. He wanted to rise in rank as quickly as possible and hold a high position in this army.

Oddly, he attached great importance to it, despite having no desire to stay in this time period. He dreamed of the day he could finally search the Hameln region to find François's watch and possibly return home.

"However," the colonel continued, "it's not impossible to purchase a lieutenant's charge."

"M-my colonel?!" Captain Gilbert interjected, shocked by these words. "He's only twenty!"

"Well? Do you think that prevents some from placing their sons in prestigious positions at indecently young ages? Of course, it won't be easy. You'll need to convince His Majesty. To do that, you must show impeccable behavior… and have a very highly placed ally. A colonel, for instance."