There are too many exaggerated words. If it were just a few, I might still enjoy the story. However, when an entire paragraph is filled with over-the-top expressions, it becomes annoying. Combined with a slow-paced plot, it makes for an uncomfortable reading experience.
I am interested in this story, but your writing style needs improvement. I am not a writer, so I can't offer helpful tips and tricks for writing.
However, this is my honest opinion after reading several chapters of your story.