Comments of chapter undefined of ReLife In Fake Twilight

where is this anxiety comes from? why is he paranoid about his strength? it seems that the characters was bullied all of his life and can't accept that there is anyone absolutely anyone stronger than him. yet he had not faced a single threat. He always talks about making someone stronger , but doesnt want to take big steps in this direction , he sits on his butt doing research for himself by himself , instead he could become famous in field of science and create a team that will help him. but I guess his sick paranoia that makes him wish to be the absolute strongest can't allow to trust others. I also can't seem to find the reason he makes all this serum other than empower himself , yeah sister go ahead be vampire never have a chance of having a baby be a cold blood corpse without having control of your own desires. sorry but I just don't seem to find his care for anything other than himself. he talks about worries for family yet his actions don't really match that much, his main concern in only about himself. I have no idea what author wanted to show but this is what I see. so it is only my personal analysis of the character