Comments of chapter undefined of Arc Of Time: Pillars Of Light
Arc Of Time: Pillars Of Light
HambinoRanx
Chapter comments37
To start off, I like the characters they have personalities that make them unique from one another, there is also the vivid and greatly portrayed description of scenes, it seems like you have an understanding of breakfast including other things such as guns, and martial arts. It seems you know how development inside of a police dept works and it's interesting to see the inside of how they utilize information and response. The story is there I can see it happen I can see the movements and happenings while I was reading. Although the chapter was long it was quite clear that you have a fundamental understanding of what you are writing. As I read through the chapter I am amazed that it is either you did research, from experience, or something entirely like a hunch or interest in these types of things for you to know how operations work. In terms of descriptive appearances, it is good, it gives me a more descriptive idea of what they look like and their complementary personalities, the pictures in the comments helped. You have a proper portrayal of what the characters look like and their personalities, which is quite evocative. The long chapter might be a hassle and although I like reading that it will pass by, not everyone would be in equal determination. In continuation to the long chapter, I think spaces between paragraphs would make it much more enjoyable and smoother to read. Another thing would be the POV’s switch very quickly I think its better to keep it consistent with the POV of someone for a few chapters and then change to another one, to follow, I think 1st person and 3rd person views would be difficult to place in one chapter quickly changing after the other, I think 1st pov on one chapter and 3rd chapter might be ideal. Overall the story is there, you can start with this just make sure that the space between paragraphs, sentences, and dialogue is split and have its own designated space. It was a nice read, especially with the scenes. Keep up the good work. (Also the pics of characters helped quite a bit in determining who is who)
