Murim: Struggle of the Weak

As the light of the evening sun set across Washington DC, painting the city in hues of orange and gold, the world outside seemed to slow down, embracing the serene beauty of the twilight hour.

Streets buzzed with the quiet energy of people returning home, the distant laughter of children playing in the parks, and the gentle rustle of leaves in the cool, evening breeze.

Yet in a humble apartment, amidst the clutter of a lived-in life, Chang Jianyu, a man of 25 with a stubby beard, screamed out loud in frustration.

Defeated for the 50th time by Malenia Blade of Miquella, the words "You Died!" were mockingly plastered across his screen.

"Ah! Damn it, there was only a little more to go..." Peter sighed, his voice a mix of irritation and resignation.

He glanced out of his window, noting the shift from day to night with a sense of surprise.

"Oh! It's evening already."

The sudden, insistent ring of his phone broke the room's stillness.

Chang Jianyu stood up, kicking aside the piles of takeout containers and trash that had accumulated over the month.

"I should really clean this place," he thought, as he rummaged through his messy bed to find his phone.

The caller ID displayed 'Mom', and with a sigh, Chang Jianyu braced himself for the conversation ahead.

"Hello," Chang Jianyu said, his voice carrying a hint of weariness that he hoped his mother wouldn't detect.

"Ah! So, how have you been?" his mom's voice came through the phone, warm and filled with the familiar concern that always made Chang Jianyu feel both comforted and a bit suffocated.

"Fine," he replied, his voice tight.

"That's good, I have sent you this month's allowance," she informed him, her tone light but with an underlying note of responsibility.

"Thanks," Chang Jianyu responded.

"Is everything at school alright? You sound weak," she probed further, her motherly intuition kicking in.

"No mom, everything's A-OK," Chang Jianyu assured her, masking his frustration with a forced cheerfulness.

"That's good. Are you taking care of your health?" she continued.

"Yeah," he replied, his response brief, not wanting to delve into the realities of his less-than-ideal lifestyle.

"Don't play around too much, ok," she cautioned.

"Ok, mom," Peter responded.

"Study hard, ok, my little pookie bear," she said endearingly, her affectionate nickname for him making him feel both loved and slightly embarrassed.

"Thanks, mom," Chang Jianyu said, quickly ending the call before she could sense his discomfort or delve any deeper. He placed the phone down, wrapping one hand over his head, feeling a mix of relief and a nagging sense that he was letting her down.

It was a lie, a carefully constructed facade that I'd maintained with an expert's skill.

I hadn't been to the university in months, maybe longer.

Reflecting back, it was three years ago when my journey started, moving from Silver Spring, MD to Washington DC for my studies.

Initially, everything about the city seemed dazzling and full of promise.

A new city, new faces, the exhilarating feeling of a fresh start, and even the hint of a new love lurking around the corner.

Yet, three months after my admission, when the first semester was halfway through, a stark realization hit me - I was utterly alone.

As I looked around, everyone had seamlessly formed their own cliques, their laughter and camaraderie echoing in the halls, a stark contrast to my solitude.

"Crap, crap, crap," I muttered to myself, a sense of panic setting in.

"I'm too slow. What do I do?" The overwhelming feeling of being an outsider gnawed at me, especially when I sat alone for meals, feeling the imaginary weight of everyone's laughter and judgment.

For the first year, despite this isolation, I still attended classes, driven by a sense of duty and the fear of the consequences of not graduating. I was diligent, taking notes and pretending that everything was normal. But during my second year, something shifted. It felt as though an invisible force was anchoring my feet, rendering me incapable of moving towards what I knew I needed to do. Since then, my days at the university ceased.

Three years passed in a blur of gaming and aimless flapping, a testament to wasted time and lost opportunities.

"I can't go on like this," I often thought to myself, feeling a sense of desperation creeping in.

"I need to do something, but what's the point now?"

In three years, one could discover love, embark on countless adventures, or undergo significant personal growth. Yet, what did I achieve in these three years? Absolutely nothing.

As I pondered my future, the inevitable confrontation with my mother loomed large in my mind.

"I'm screwed, absolutely screwed," I'd think, the anxiety of that impending revelation always present.

I lacked any special talent or skill that could easily pave my way to a career. The fear of what lay ahead, coupled with the knowledge of my wasted years, left me in a state of paralysis, a prisoner of my own making. What would become of me when the truth came out?

Chang Jianyu sighed, closing Elden Ring with a sense of detachment.

He just wasn't in the mood for it.

I should go get the groceries

.....

The chill of the night air was sharp against Chang Jianyu's skin as he strolled down the sidewalk towards the convenience store.

His steps were mechanical, the familiar route requiring little thought.

As he walked, his gaze fell upon a small family - a girl riding gleefully on her father's shoulders, her laughter mingling with the night, her mother's hand clasped in her husband's as they hurried in the opposite direction.

Chang Jianyu paused, a sense of longing washing over him.

"Will I ever be able to have a family of my own?" he mused, the thought emerging unbidden.

Almost immediately, he snorted in derision.

"Who would want to be with a loser like me?" he thought.

He quickened his pace, eager to escape his own thoughts, and soon found himself inside the store. The mundane task of selecting a few items to eat did little to distract him from his earlier reflections. As he exited, the familiar ding of the door closing behind him returned him to the stillness of the night, a stillness he often found comforting.

Chang Jianyu's peaceful night walk was abruptly interrupted by a harsh coughing sound. Startled, he looked down to see an old woman sitting on the sidewalk. She was small and frail, with deep wrinkles etching her face like a map of a long, hard life. Her eyes, surprisingly bright and alert, contrasted with her weathered appearance. Around her were various items laid out on a cloth - second-hand lipsticks, creams, rings, and a peculiar box that caught his attention.

"Oh! S-Sorry," Chang Jianyu stammered, realizing he had stepped too close to her makeshift stall.

The old woman, without a word, picked up the odd box and extended it towards him. "Take it!" she insisted in a raspy voice.

Chang Jianyu was taken aback.

"H-How much is it?" he asked, even though he had no intention of buying it.

He just wanted to get back to his video games and forget this odd encounter. He planned to pretend he couldn't afford it, a simple escape plan.

"It's free," the woman declared, her voice firm.

Chang Jianyu's mind raced with confusion. Who gives away stuff for free? Is this some kind of scam? he thought, suspicion creeping in.

He hesitantly reached for the box, planning to politely return it. But as he looked up, the woman and her cloth of items had vanished into thin air.

Did I drink something weird? he wondered, feeling a mix of bewilderment and curiosity.

The box in his hand was like a sophisticated Rubik's Cube, adorned in black and gold with intricate patterns.

Most of its sides were already aligned, seemingly just one turn away from completion.

Driven by curiosity, Chang Jianyu twisted the box.

Suddenly, a blinding light burst from it, enveloping everything around him. He felt his body go limp, his mind swirling into darkness.

What's happening? was his last coherent thought before losing consciousness.