Fate as a Servant

It is kind of strange, knowing what is going on. Knowing that there is a limited number of being across the infinite realities, it should be impossible, conceptually speaking it doesn't make sense, after all within the infinite there can only be infinite, and yet for some reason I understand it.

I am supposed to be waiting for a match, for someone who lived a similar life to mine, so that I can become that person. It doesn't even make sense. For what reason do I have to be someone else? Why will I even reincarnate at all?

<Purpose... w¡$# ºf t#€ trv€ #º/y Gr@i/... =@k€ #€r $v**€r... accepted>

What?

<Personality match... searching... failure>

So it has started huh.

<Personality division... aspects of humanity... dominant sins... found>

<Sloth and Pride detected>

Well that seems about right.

<Searching matches with equal multiple dominant sins... found>

<Matches amount... exceeding current limits... further screening required>

< Personality division... aspects of the spirit... dominant virtues... found>

<Purity detected>

Yeah I know, I am basically an angel thanks.

<Searching matches with equal single dominant virtue... found>

<Matches amount... reduced>

<Screening method optimised>

<Matches amount... exceeding current limits... further screening required>

<Personality division... origin...searching...using sins and virtues>

<Pride... incomplete>

<Sloth... incomplete>

<Purity... incomplete>

<Searching balanced solution... found>

<Merging... succesful>

<Origin found... divinity>

Hoh, nice. I am not sure what this will do but there is no way divinity can be bad right?

<Searching matches with equal single origin... found>

<Matches amount... reduced>

<Screening method optimised>

<Matches amount... exceeding current limits... further screening process required>

<Personality division... addictions... searching... found>

<Drinking addiction selected>

Oi oi oi, we were going so well why do you suddenly have to start getting mean. Besides it wasn't an addiction at all, I had it totally under control. In fact, I could have quit any time, I just didn't want to that's all.

<Searching matches with equal drinking addiction... found>

<Matches amount... reduced>

<Screening method optimised>

<Matches amount... exceeding current limits... further screening required>

<Personality division... personality traits… searching… found>

<Shamelessness found>

Wow, just wow. The pinnacle of disrespect you are. If anything the shameless one is you, you annoying system who won't even come with me to the next life. Yeah that's right, terrible system really.

<Searching matches with equal shamelessness... found>

<Matches amount... reduced>

<Screening method optimised>

<Matches amount... within possible limits... final screening required>

<Final screening... finalised>

<Match found>

<Goddess of water, guide to the afterlife, Aqua... selected>

Wait what?!?!?! Sorry I insulted you system-sama, please don't to this I will be good I promise: I don't want to be dumb and have bad luck from now on, it would be terrible for a genius like me.

<Servant category assigned>

<Stats conversion into parameter... successful>

<Class... searching... class assigned>

<Class Foreginer selected>

Aghhh you won't even give me a normal class? Whatever I guess it could be worse... see system-sama? I am not insulting you, so how about you change me from a useless goddess into someone really op?

<Class skills assigned>

<Skills conversion into personal skills... successful>

Wow I am totally being ignored here...

<Noble Phantasm... selected>

<Divine staff of the water goddess (A) chosen>

Huh a Noble Phantasm on rank A? I expected way less from a useless goddess, but I guess a goddess is still a goddess for a reason.

<Conversion into divine spirit... successful>

Well Aqua was said to be an unparalleled beauty by Kazuma and many others so not all is bad I guess, besides being a goddess doesn't sound bad, I will live a life of luxury for eternity, nice.

<Access to the throne of heroes... denied>

Huh, why are you trying to get into the throne of heroes?

<Bypassing defences of the throne of heroes... failure>

<Recalculating... using the Holy Grail to breach the defences of the throne of heroes... failure>

<Error-- contamination detected-- error-- using ´divinity´ to counter corruption-- successful>

AGHHHHH IT HURTS YOU USELESS SYSTEM, I FEEL LIKE I AM BREAKING APART!!! DO SOMETHING!

<Piece of ´divinity´ lost... impossible to maintain divine spirit status>

<Recalculating... conversion into different servant category... possible>

<Conversion into pseudo-divine spirit... successful>

Wow, great going system, why did you even try to enter the throne of heroes huh?

<Breach into the throne of heroes... failure>

<Warning--- continuous attempt at breaching the throne of heroes detected>

Wait what?

<Warning--- counter-guardians dispatched>

<Warning--- location compromised>

Ahhhh I am so so sorry system-sama please do something about it I don't wanna die before being born!

"What the hell is going on!"

Wait that guy, the black skin and white hair... no way!

<Calculating counter measures to deal with counter-guardians... failure>

<Calculating actions to ensure survival... successful>

<Counter Guardian Emiya selected>

<Begin process of soul consumption... error-- soul status higher than anticipated>

<Soul consumption process... failure>

<Partial soul consumption process... successful>

<Reality marble consumed>

<Secondary Noble Phantasm creation... successful>

Nice going system-sama, as expected of something as great as you.

<Status as ´member of this universe´ consumed... error-- contradiction found>

<Dealing with contradiction... successful>

<New status selected: ´guest of this universe´>

What's that supposed to mean oh great and glorious system-sama?

<´Guest of this universe´: she who is both an outsider and a member of the universe>

<Summoning in process>

Wait what?

<Master´s call answered>

NO NO NO! MY LIFE OF LUXURYYYY!!!

What is this? What is all this information entering my head? I see, the fifth Holy Grail war... so I indeed am in the Nasuverse huh? Sigh, whatever lets just get this over with. I wonder which idiotic master will I get? Oh please great system, let it be anyone other than the childish/idiotic-hero/wannabe/justice lover kid that ruins every single plan that waifu Rin creates and is dumb enough to even loose his servant.

*LOUD CRASHING NOISE*

Ouch, goddamnit where I'm gonna kill my master.

Where even is he?

Huh, this room looks kind of familiar...

Whatever lets focus for now on my parameters and skills until my master appears.

Damn I am pretty op. Sure I am no Gilgamesh but still, its almost as if my designed to deal with Angra Maiyuu. Lets see... my original Noble Phantasm is better than expected and what's with the second one? it was created from Emiya´s reality marble so I guess it makes sense that it would be a reality marble as well... okey it is pretty op. Still, Emiya´s reality marble wasn't a Noble Phantasm so I am not sure why mine is but whatever, I won't complain.

Hmm pretty useful class skills, great magic and finally... WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE?! MY STRONGEST PERSONAL SKILL IS WHINING CRYBABY?!?! Ughhh I hate that stupid system.

Wait a second, to summon someone you need a catalyst, otherwise it shouldn't be possible, since I am a true foreigner who literally isn't from this world, there should exist no catalyst to summon me, so why am I here? Sh*t, I may not be from here, but I partially consumed the soul of someone who is, of someone who was summoned for this war, does that mean that it was the influence of his soul that brought me here? Damn, how annoying.

Oh right, if I was indeed summon in his place, then that would mean that my master is...

*Insert dramatic music*

"Hmmm"

"Huh!"

"Wait, all the clocks in the house were running an hour early when I got up at this morning, which means it is now 1am, not 2"

"I did it again! Sigh well what's done is done I guess, huh, why did you give me this task father?"

Does she like not see me or something? I remember she had a little monologue when she summoned Emiya before actually paying attention to him but still, I am a goddess you know? Hmph whatever, I honestly have the only good master of this war so I won't complain, besides she is pretty rich, heh heh heh she must have some good wine in here...

"Ughh all right, what are you?"

Yosh I´ll kill this brat.

"Pretty disrespectful for a brat who can´t even make summoning correctly"

Huh, I have always been a bit prideful, but not so much as to get so annoyed so quickly, ughh it must be the divinity origin side effect, making me more prideful, more slothful and more ´pure´ whatever that means.

"Ugh, just to be perfectly clear, whoever you are, you are my servant, correct?"

"Well well little master, you must have luck on EX, after all I am indeed the one you summoned, while my pride won't allow me to refer myself as a servant, you can rest assured that I will neither betray you nor abandon you, after all every other master in the war is utterly disgusting"

"What do you mean every other master?Are you implying that you know their identities?"

"Well of course I do, it is only natural for someone as awesome as myself to know many things, but stop with the pointless questions, we should focus on what is important right now"

"Are you saying there is something more important than the other masters? I guess you are right, we have yet to introduce ourselves, I am Tohs-"

"Yeah yeah, Tohsaka Rin, when I said ´focus on what is important´ I obviously didn't mean this"

"H-how do you know my name?!"

"I already said that I know many things, now stop interrupting so that I can get to what is important"

[ 3rd pov ]

On the partially destroyed room, two women were sitting in front of each other. The black haired beauty had veins popping on her forehead, while the blue haired beauty was wearing a very serious expression.

"Let me get this straight, you are saying that introductions, the identities of other master and start planning for the war are all less important than me taking you to the cellar of the house?"

"OF COURSE, I don't understand what is so confusing about it. Look master, it was you who summoned this great goddess who just so happens to be the most awesome, genius and capable among all the possible summons, so... IT IS ONLY NATURAL THAT YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY AND SPOIL ME!"