Overlord_Venus
as i have previously gone over the system world in a previous comment (superficially) i will not dive into that amd instead turn towards my thoughts and concerns abput the approaching arc. the main concern of this novel is that the author is showing the novel instead of telling. much like how in a haunted house fear keeps you guessing what is going to happen next, not divulging information can lead to the reader guess whats next, summarily instead of showing that "the queen is interested" it can be instead told as "the queens eyes shimmered with thought although none can quite guess what goes through her mind" signifying it could be good or bad making blanks for the readers to think and engage over further drawing them into the story i hope the author clues in on this. now with that concern out of the way the way the novel is progressing steadily and i have high hopes 3.7/5 leave your thoughts in my replies
To be honest, I'm not too impressed. The things I dislike: * The easiest target is probably the names. They seem completely random and nonsensical. If there was some theme behind them, or some reference to existing literature or media, I'd probably be impressed, but as it is, they just seem very lazy and uninspired. * I know it's not easy to stitch together the theory behind the systems from multiple novels all in one single theory, so what you have here is a pretty good attempt. But turning them into these kinds of caricatures of creatures that possess people, it doesn't mesh well with the themes. Systems normally alter fate, provide plot armour, and provide game-like interfaces for the hosts, but none of that makes any sense with this interpretation of systems as parasitic creatures. The part about them absorbing mental energy makes sense, but the explanation of how mental energy stops being accumulated felt like a hasty attempt at explaining why systems feel the need to return to their world and kill the host. The things I like: * You've already put in place certain limitations on his strength, like not being able to take powers out of their worlds, and not being able to upgrade the part of the system that's already merged with him. I like those kinds of restrictions that prevent power creep, though by the way the story is going, I suspect you're going to break those rules with some stupid loopholes soon. * Although the concept of the solar powered carbon gun is pretty silly and out of place, I like the attention to detail on the science aspect of it. I'll respect you for the amount of thought you put into the theory behind it, even if it makes no sense in the setting. Though I understand why it was important to have such a tool for plot reasons.