Created by fire, healed by your touch

The moment my eyes open, a smile appears on my face. I have waited so long for this day! Finally, it is my birthday! I throw the blankets off my legs and get out of bed. The other bed in the room is empty, which means that my parents are already awake. I walk to the living area, trying to be quiet so I can scare them. The smell of pancakes reaches me and I am about to walk into the room, when I hear my mother's voice. "Gustav, we're not going to make it like this. There is not enough money for us to get by." Dad sighs. "I know, Darya. But with the war going on, there is nowhere else I can work. The factory is the only place I can earn some money right now." "I know that, but let me go to work as well darling. They are looking for women to make clothes, I can do that." "You can't leave Lidiya here alone." "Lidiya is old enough to look after herself if necessary." "Old enough? Darya how can you say that. She just turned 9." "I know Gustav, but it's war... The situation is only going to get worse." I heard enough, I don't want them to fight over me. Softly I enter the room. "I can do it, daddy." I whisper. My parents turn towards me, not realizing that I have been standing there for a couple of minutes. "I really can, that way mum can make some extra money." My mum hugs me closely and gives me a kiss on my nose. "That is very brave of you Lidiya but we can talk about that later. What do you say about having some breakfast? I made your favorite: pancakes." I smile one of those smiles only children can give. "Yes please!" I hurry over to the table and sit down, ready for my birthday breakfast. My father laughs his warm, fatherly laugh when he sees the joy in my eyes. "Someone is eager to get this day started!" My father takes the chair left of me, and my mum carries the pancakes and places them on the table. "These are especially for you, my malysh (baby)." I clap my hands, I know I'm not a baby anymore but when I get excited I can't help myself. My mother had placed one candle on top of the pancakes, I really appreciate this because I know how expensive candles are. "You shouldn't have... Thank you so much mum and dad." They both smile warmly at me, and my dad lights the candle. "Make a wish, my doch' (daughter)." I inhale, ready to blow the candle out… And that's when my world falls apart.

The explosion comes out of nowhere, the noise is loud and horrible, the floor beneath us falls apart and it swallows us whole. Darkness takes control of me when I land on something hard.

Slowly my eyes open, but I can barely see anything. I breathe in and instantly start coughing, smoke entering my lungs. That's when I realize that the reason I can barely see is because there is a big smoke screen hanging in the air. I try to move, but a sharp pain goes through my leg. I look back and see that a heavy wardrobe is trapping my leg underneath, bending my knee in an unnatural way. A red glow is shining on the walls, and when I look to the other side I find the source: fire is licking against the ceiling, destroying everything in it's path. Fear squeezes my throat. "MUM! DAD!" I yell, hoping that my parents will come and get me out of this living nightmare. Of course yelling causes another cloud of smoke to enter my lungs and I start coughing. I look around, and I notice something lying on the ground a few meters away from me. I start to crawl towards the thing, crying out from pain when I get reminded of my leg. "Fuck." I whisper, knowing very well my parents don't want me to use such language. I try to get closer again, trying to ignore the sharp pain. As soon as I realize what is lying in front of me, I regret the decision to go over there immediately. Cold eyes stare into mine, all life drained out of them. Blood drips out of her mouth, which is locked into a surprised "o". "MUM!!!" I scream, not really being capable of processing what I am seeing. I reach towards my mother, my fingertips being able to touch her cheek. "Mum, please, no…" I sniff, which results in once again another cough attack because of the smoke. This is my worst nightmare becoming reality. No, this is worse than my worst nightmare. I know there is a war going on and people get killed, but somehow I never expected my parents to be one of them. When I look around I see other shapes on the floor, and the realization that those are all dead people hit me. "No, no, no!" I cry. At the same time I realize that the fire is closing in on me, using the wood and the dead bodies as fuel. I just sit there, crying. I am going to die, I know it. There is no-one coming to help me, and because of the wardrobe on my leg there is no way for me to get out of here. I just sit there, crying, desperate, while the flames are closing in on me. The heat is becoming unbearable and breathing is nearly impossible. Even though my mother is lying only 1 meter away from me, I can't see her anymore because of the thick black smoke. I know this is going to be my end, only 9 years old. People won't mourn me or my parents, hundreds of people die in Sokovia every day. And when the fire is finished with us, there won't be much left to mourn anyway.

I have imagined the amount of pain I will feel when the fire has finally reached me, but it isn't even close to the reality. The flames are licking at my skin, melting my clothes into my flesh and scorching my hair. I want to scream, but no voice comes out of my mouth. Tears are streaming over my cheeks. I wish I was dead. I wish I had died when the floor gave in. I wish I would die here and now so the pain will stop. More fire, more flames, consuming me. Make it stop! I think. But it doesn't. It is like the flames are entering my skin, burning my bones from the inside. Still not dead... Please, I think, please make it stop. I can't look out of my eyes anymore, the fire licking at my eyelids. More pain, why don't I die?! My bones feel as if they are being reborn, using the fire as a forge. Fire in my lungs, my throat, everywhere... I scream out loud, a horrifying sound that doesn't even sound human, I scream into the fire as it consumes me while letting me live.

It's dark when I open my eyes. I want to move my legs but everything hurts. Looking at my arms they are black, burned to a crisp. Why am I alive? I notice footsteps approaching me, I want to look up but I can't. My body isn't listening to what I want, I just lay there. "This is the girl sir, she's alive and breathing." A guy lifts my chin up so I look him in the eyes, blue eyes with a monocle over the right one. "So you're the special one, surviving this fire without any real damage." I don't know what he means; there are burns all over my body. "I… I am... damaged…" I whisper, my voice hoarse. "Well well, she can even speak." The man replies. He grabs my burned arm, I flinch expecting this to hurt like hell… But it doesn't. "See?" The man says with a big grin on his face. "When Baron Strucker says something, you better believe it." Strucker, the name rings some bells in my head. On the streets everybody warned you about the Baron living in the castle in the mountains. They said that he looked for people to participate in experiments to test medicine, but nobody had ever returned to their homes. I want to run away as fast as I can, but my legs aren't working. I manage to crawl to the left, but he simply grabs me by my throat, and holds me up in the air. "What's your name, little girl?" he asks with a mean voice. "L-lidiya..." I croak out. An evil grin appears on the man's face. "Not anymore, subject 507." He throws me on the floor and I groan. "Take her to the castle and lock her in the cell, I think we finally found a subject that fits our needs."

Do you know what I go through

To live what I want make a new

I'm fighting, I'm fighting

Do you understand what I need to stay alive and survive

I'm dying here, I'm dying

I keep playing the song over and over again in my head as I get carried away.