Yueliang_Haizi
Hello, this is my first book and I am getting better with each chapter. Either way, just because I wrote it does not mean I will not judge it fairly. I do think I could do better on telling more visual details, and yes I know it is focused a lot on the system for now however that is just so you can see his growth, that will be brought down a lot eventually. Other than describing visuals, I think I am doing pretty well. If you think I am wrong please leave comments or something on how I can do better. I look forward to hearing from you.
i don't whether these are fake reviews or not but No. this is definitely not a 5 star book. there are alot of mistakes in grammar. the first few chapters made me not want to read it anymore; spoiler alert I mean seriously?! the MC gets kidnapped by a mafia leader then adopts him as his father? Goes on ONE date then tells the girl I love you? shows off like a noob to her father that he is a mage alchemist etc.. i mean why? you could hid some, just being a mge is enough why show off lol this is clearly a bad novel.
I'm on like the 5th chapter, but still, he just gets free points, jumps from rooftops to rooftops for what I would say his first time ever WHILE doing flips, goes on one date with a girl, and then the next time they meet they kiss and are bf gf. and the fact that there are 5 reviews from the SAME person while all being 5 starred. it seemed interesting, but just lost it with all these things being randomly thrown in without any explanation.
Def. not 5 stars. Read lots of better stories. Feels hurried whilst missing half the iNformation that was supposed to be given to the reader. Also downright refuses commonsense.Ah i meed a gf ahhhh my roo,ate has decided i am to date his sister, since i am the most attractive student but did not know so myself, and so i go pick her up with a limousine, because i aM rich. did i forget That i am a noble? Yes? Well now you know.
I haven't read much ngl, but in my opinion it's super captivating and enjoyable, I don't read much but I got recommended this book for my first book on Webnovel by a friend who reads a lot more than me, and I think it's great! There are a few grammar errors but I mean, I'm not surprised, I bet it would be the same for me. Anyways, i thought id leave a review cause i cant send any gifts, so just wanted to help!
I just got to first 5 chapter but story seems to be forced. 1. First time going with a date with a roommate's sister where roommate asked him to go to date. But, their father gets him kidnapped by Mafia just because he don't like his daughter going on a date with anyone and want to test MC. 2.Asking the boss of said Mafia to adopt him when he just wounded some of the Mafia members and Mafia boss agrees to it.
well where to begin. let's start with the good. the story and idea are a little unique compared to other system stories up to chapter 13. my main complaint about this one that is really holding it back for me, is that the author is writing like someone with ADHD or ADD. what would be a few chapters in normal books is a few paragraphs that is immediately shoved aside the second the next point appears on the horizon. it really ruins the flo of reading .
The Good: The editing rarely makes mistakes and the writing is straightforward. The story moves along at a pace that laughs at the slow pace Chinese stories love. The author seems to have a vision and is writing it. The Bad: We're definitely in wish fulfillment territory. The thing that seemed to take the longest was the MC getting his system. The MC borders on leaning on his plot armor and the 4th wall intentionally. Everything is kind of canned otherwise. Dateless loser? Quest to get one. Best friend shows up and immediately offers up his sister. Lots of things are explained by info dumps. The system is so helpful that the MC doesn't have to be smart. Multiple times the MC is in danger or is greedy and with a smile and raise of the hand, the system or the world bend to his will. I have put food effort into reading this, but even I have to stop after a few chapters to give myself a break. I've never seen MC struggle to overcome something and by now, I'm kind of tried of looking. The characters are uninspired. The author, as far as I got, worked too hard showing us that their talent was wasted telling instead of showing. Most of the author's weaknesses are in their interpersonal and cultural understandings. The greatest moment I encountered in the story, where the author was showing their spark, was when the FL spoke French. It was an opportunity for many things, but many, if not all, were wasted. The MC apparently spoke French too, a dead language, in the future, in an area with predominantly Chinese names. It could have been a moment to show the MC having a gap in his knowledge, and thus himself, or to use his skills or the system to overcome. Instead the MC was too cool for human weakness and was perfect. Yay. My final conclusion is that while I look forward to the growth of this author, I'll be looking forward to their next book, rather than more chapters of this one. Whomever their editor and proofreader is, they have my praise and I hope the author realizes the blessing they have.
Great job, I am on chapter 10 now, and loving it. It is wonderful to think such a romance can start so fast, and smooth, even with the imperfections. Though sometimes what starts with a flame, rapidly burns out, should be interesting. It is wonderful how Yue is able to learn fast, grow stronger, and make profits so quick, in peoples hearts we often wish we could do so. It is like living an adventuresome dream.
Interesting story and plot. Great job, The main character is great . Especially the trials he is going through , from start to this point . We all have trials, hopefully improve from them, but rarely do I see benefits soon after. It is great to think of rapid benefits . Lead character is helpful and sacrificing , with standards that are refreshing.