Comments of chapter undefined of A Deal With the Devil
A Deal With the Devil
Frog_Tape
Chapter comments7
What happened to Uzumaki after taking the serum? What happened to his wife? Did he look for his companions or not ? What you mean author the next is the last chapter?
Mari is captured by the Hidden Mist, waiting for Kagami to rescue her again. Shisu was taken by Jashin. No, he hasn't looked for his companions but Hotaro is confirmed dead while Inojinchi is MIA. After the next chapter and the epilogue, Naruto canon kicks up. I'm either going to take a break from writing or dive straight into volume two with the next generation (Naruto's generation).
I liked the story so far but this chapter is not as clesr as you believe it to be. The way you wrote it after the meeting with jashin, it looks like a timeskip and hes performing the uchiha massacre or something. The whole hunter nin shit just further confuses it and then hes suddenly in the middle of konoha with alive uchiha there. I understand roughly with hind sight that he killed his team or something which is lame as **** because he just got told his entire prior life he was some ****ers puppet and that the deal he made wasn't even being honored to his face just then... So whatever motivation he might still have had to honor his side of it should have been gone.. Which makes his honoring the demons requests weird and unlikely as ****. The same is the case for his emo walk of shame back to konoha and around it. You just told that he doesnt feel shit. That apathy might as well be his name... And you give him an emo walk of shame.... Wtf. So yeah im confused about this chapter and I do not think this chapter does any part of the story justice because it over complicated your story, and is performing opposite acts to everything said and done so far from beginning till the end. Hense whilst the quality of your writing is good. The foundation if this chapter is not and it threatens to bring down the whole of everything you've build up story wise so far. I hate to say this but... You will want to rework this chapter to atleast make it clear what happens, and second to restore the consistency of its contents... And like the other guy who is mostly hung up about the pregnant wife he doesnt even have a memory of, I too am considering doing dropping this... albeit for the reasons I have just stated because the pregnant wife argument doesnt hold because he didnt actually know her as a transmigrated person. I hope you will consider everything i mentioned, grab a piece of paper and line out the facts you have written and what you want to do about it. Because Continuing with this chapter as it is will kill the story....
