IX

"I COULDN'T really believe it Sophie." Lia said. To make the story short, I told her what really happened. Knowing her, it will be impossible to let go. Naka-graduate na nga lahat-lahat, walang pagbabago.

"Yeah, as if." I said in sarcasm. She's pushy and such. Ni hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko lubos maisip kung paano kami nagkasundo.

"You're so mean." Ingos naman niya, "ang akala ko talaga ay si – "but I cut her off. Ayaw ko ng pag-usapan ang bagay na iyon.

"Tama na nga. Ikain mo nalang 'yan. Nagiging madaldal ka na." wika ko para maiba lang ang usapan.

I admit hanggang ngayon ay may isang parte parin ng pagkatao ko na hindi parin lubusang matanggap ang pangyayaring iyon. May mga bagay na kahit kailan man ay hindi mo na mababago.

"Samahan mo ko mamaya." She said after a pregnant of silence.

Napakunot naman ang noo ko. "Where?" paano ba naman? She never really asked for a favor, since we know each other. Might be, I'm not used with this kind of her. Mas ma-pride pa din kasi ito kaysa akin.

"Sa isang bakeshop. Help me in choosing a cake."

"Para kanino naman 'yon?" I asked curiously. Lia hate exerting efforts for a certain thing nor a person. Kaya naman nakakapagtaka na –

"May pagbibigyan lang ako."

Mas lalo naman akong nagtaka. Imbis na itanong kung sino ang pagbibigyan niya ay tikom bibig nalang ako. I response her with a nod. I don't want to push her in his limit. I still respected her privacy of not telling. I don't want to mingle with her privacy, dahil alam ko naman na kusa lang niya iyong sasabihin sa akin.

"Sabi mo eh."

Namayani na naman ulit ang katahimikan sa pagitan naming dalawa. A comfortable silence perhaps, napatingin ako sa labas. It's raining, lot of people going to and fro like a normal sunny day. The usual thing that people do. Walang ibang iniisip kundi trabaho at kung ano-ano pa na may kinalaman sa araw nilang routine. Yet life has many things to give us hope to step forward. At iyon ang dapat nating tandaan.

~*~*~

Love

When love blooms it will grow, as long as you take care of it.

Love?

It is the most sensitive topic for me, until now. Hindi madaling pag-usapan ang isang bagay na alam mong minsan ng nagkaroon ng masasabi nating pangit na karanasan. Well, not entirely though. Mas tamang yatang sabihin na painful memories which wasn't easy to step forward and simply move on, the way others did.

I don't really know what was it, until I met the person who made me feel love and respected. For the first time of my life, I feel conscious about every little thing. The feeling was indescribable to explain.

They say, life has many things to discover. Pero kasali ba sa mga bagay na iyon ang salitang napaka-pamilyar na sa ating lahat? Love. Ano nga ba ang mga bagay na konektado sa salitang iyan? Kahit ako hindi ko rin masabi. And maybe love is included in discovery that we have to find nor comprehend. Maraming mga bagay ang hindi natin naiintindihan lalo na pagdating sa mga bagay na inaakala nating tama.

How we could even have recognized things or even person, if we are too focused in the mere ideas of? Ano nga ba? We are so fascinated in those fanatical which in return forgetting what the reality want to imply. It's not about me nor you – us, about how we see things through. How we able to handle things through hardship and vice versa.

I remember the letter he gave. A letter that I don't know if it was an eye opener or not. It's written this way.

Sophie,

I know by now, that you are reading this letter. You are confused in everything. But this letter implies how much you mean to me.

I remembered, you asked me "What is love?" and I didn't give you the answer you want to hear. Instead I said, "Love is simply looking at you." You even laughed and said, I'm bluffing just to tease you.

Actually I was taken a back with your question. I did not expect you, that you would asked me. The truth is, I also don't know. What is the accurate one?

Just few days ago, I realized that love somewhat very deep to understand. Yet, know what? It illustrates one thing.

Love is a principle. For the love to grow and manifest its true nature. Love need to be taken care of. Like a plant that planted. Love is not sensual desire or even lust. Love nurture respect and meekness. By watching you or being with you nor having a constant communication, the love grows stronger.

The exact sentiments, I read and reflect. I knew, I don't need to explain farther. For you be able to understand what I'm implying. Cause I do know, you feel it. It's not about flowers and chocolate. But about how we work together and sum up things in the mature way of.

M.

I don't know how to react, no sweet words or anything. Simply tells something, about contentment and of course commitment. Love has many things need to ponder out and discover. Kailangan nating mabuhay sa reyalidad at hindi kung ano ang iniisip lang natin. Marami tayong matutunan at dapat alamin.

Isang aral na kahit kailanman ay hindi mababago. And knowing that every piece of it help us to be mature enough. And the only thing I realize was. . .

Love do play an important role on our life. And what is done by pure love signifies a high but worth standard. A standard that could never steal from us. A principle that hold us, our dignities into progressive and reproductive individual. A love is a principle and it will stay a principle not a feeling which fades. It stays and grow as we take care of it.