The Morning Star 1

I believe the style of writing utilized in this novel is among the best possible. It's a unique blend of first-person and stream of consciousness that helps to create a fluid main character and an imaginative and lively world without forcing the reader through blocks of tedious prose. This combines with a more segmented transition between chapters. Instead of forcing the characters every action to be narrated to the audience, we get brief glimpses into the main characters' life that build the world succinctly and satisfyingly. There are a few minor grammar and word choice errors and a limited vocabulary, but they don't hinder the story. Since the author is a high-schooler, its already impressive language command. My only hope is that, when editing the story to remove small errors, the author's voice and passion aren't lost to endless editing. Take pride in what you've created :) The characters are lovable and well written. The main character is relatable in her anxieties and clumsiness, which are foiled excellently by the supporting role, Jack. He is a well-written child who acts his age in the ways you would expect. Other than an exposition chapter that could have been handled better, the world-building in this novel is natural and exposes a greater whole from the parts we see. My suggestion here is that the best world-building doesn't come from what you tell the audience but rather, what you let them assume.

Overall comment: The novel seems promising and it’s pretty good for a first time writer, I’ll detail the improvements I think the author could make below Writing quality Pretty decent writing quality, perhaps not always the best choice of words , but it’s still readable. Updating stability I personally think the updates are pretty good, especially if it’s a first attempt at writing. There has been always at least one chapter a day, and even though the author updates without editing the chapters (sometimes not finishing writing the chapters), there’s always something for readers to read. Story development Everything has been going a bit slow, and I’m still confused as to how some things connect, but it’s only the beginning of the novel, and I’m sure the author will add and edit more details along the way. Character Design The main character is quite likeable at this point, there seems to be a lot readers can relate to her about. I’m hoping for the characters’ personalities to be shown more as the novel progresses. World background The author has incorporated the world background into one of her chapters so far, and the concept is quite good- only that the chapter isn’t finished yet (so far)