corleone
I really like this story. It seems pretty interesting but has a few problems at the moment. First is that the Grammar needs some work. I’d recommend getting an editor to smooth things out so that it becomes more pleasant to read. Although there isn’t much development right now, that’s something that can be added in over time so just work on that slowly. It’s a pretty fun read and I hope this one can make some progress and become a bit novel :)
Only negative thing I can say is that the story is to scattered, world development would help immensely. Everything else will get better as the author writes and learns the dos and Dont’s. looking forward to him teleporting to the celebrity crush and seeing what happens there. Hopefully that chapter will be released soon. Great premise hope author sticks with it. <3
Shameless Author here, with a shameless review. I wrote a novel recently, which is Call of Ring. It was my very first attempt at writing, and there may be some mistakes and errors in it, but I still feel extremely proud of it and enjoy it thoroughly. Please give my story a try and leave some comments for me. Thank you! https://rb.gy/5s05wc