Chapter 2: God’s Own Standards

Disclaimer: (If you're not a religious type of person, you may skip this and proceed to the next page.)

​Everytime I realized my standards, naiisip ko na imposible ata makahanap ng ganun. Everytime maiisip ko kung nageexist ba ung gusto ko sa guy, I always cry. Why? Kasi parang imposible nga makita un.

"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven."  Ecclesiastes 3:1 –New American Standard Bible version

​Everytime na makikita ko ung journal ko na may list ng standards ko, naiisip ko, what if hindi ganun ung gusto ni God para sa akin? Ano gagawin ko kung lahat ng nasa listahan ko ay kabaligtaran ng gusto ni God sa akin. Hala ready ba ang heart ko tanggapin yun?

​Year 2005, I met someone na exactly opposite sa likes ko. Hindi sya kagwapuhan, wala syang smiling eyes, wala rin syang killer smile, hindi sya masyado talented at hindi ganun kagenius like Einstein pero he loved God more than anything else. He's a Christian guy of different church. I met him at work. He's very consistent in pursuing me. A pastor's kid with a heart passionate to God. Isa yun sa traits na nagustuhan ko. After months, I gave my first "yes" at akala ko sya na nag first at last, hindi pala and our relationship lasted for 2 years. And dahil ang gusto ko nga ay may "stay forever package", lagi kami magkasama na madalas namin pag awayan. Until one day, we broke up.

​Sobrang sakit nun kasi I have to question God's will. "Bakit ganun God, Christian naman kami pareho and why He allowed that to happen." May mga times na sa sobrang iyak ko naiisip ko isarado na ng tuluyan ung heart ko. Parang ayaw ko na magmahal muli.

​Pero I realized God allowed that to happen for me to grow sa faith ko sa Diyos at maggrow as a person.

Super immature pa pala ako kaya need basagin para mamold ng mabuti. Then yung time na feeling ko nakamove on na ako, here comes another Christian guy again.

​This next Christian man was the last boyfriend I had. Year 2006, we became best of friends (up until now naman), I met him at the same workplace where my ex and I also met. In short co-workers kami pero in different team. Again, hindi sya kagwapuhan, in short, tall, dark sya. Sobrang iba sa gusto ko ulit. Pero dahil sa Christian faith na meron sya, and after he's being persistent and so sincerely pursuing me, I gave my "yes". Everything is doing well naman. Imagined, we almost ended up marrying each other. Yes, he asked me that question that every woman is waiting. The question of "Will you marry me?" At first, ang sarap sagutin ng yes pero kabaligtaran ang sinagot ko. Isang masakit na "NO". Our relationship ended up for 6 years. Opps, don't get me wrong, baka sabihin choosy eh hindi naman ako kagandahan, whjat made me say no that time? Well, let's just say na I'm not ready yet. Sigurado, kung nagyes ako at kinasal kami, baka hindi ko maisusulat ito. Or malamang kinalimutan ko ang pagsusulat.

​After that second failed relationship, I stopped and shut down my heart. Sobrang sakit ng dalawang failed relationships at natakot ako magmahal na muli. Malamang may magsasabi, bakit ako masasaktan eh choice ko naman mag No sa inalok na kasal sa akin, nasaktan pa rin ako kasi naisip ko na may nasaktan dahil sa akin. Pero ganun ang buhay, hindi lahat oo ang sagot. Since 2012 up until now, hinihintay ko pa rin si the one.

​Singer Wiz Khalifa once said; "Being single doesn't necessarily mean you're available. Sometimes you have to put up a sign that says, "Do Not Disturb" on your heart." 

What I realized is to let God hold the pen and let God writes my love story. That break up led me to grow mature in my relationship with God. The moving on journey is not easy. I learned to surrender everything to God. I let God work in me; I even let God mold me the way He wanted me to be. I would always feel relieved. As you may know, coming to terms with what has happened and finally letting go is never easy. In fact, many of us think that holding on to the past is a sign of strength. However, quite the contrary is the case. It often takes a lot more strength to move on with your life than holding on to a past that no longer is. "The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward." - Steve Maraboli

THE GADGET THEORY

​This idea of gadget theory is what I've learned from using iPad, an Apple gadget. (Keen and silent observer kasi ako at mahilig magresearch). Alam naman natin na si Steve Jobs ang utak ng Apple, lalo sa iPad, iPhone at iba pa bago sya namatay. Mahirap gamitin ang Apple kasi hindi sya user friendly at hindi gadget friendly. Mahirap magshare ng files kung hindi compatible. Kaya nga may user manual na sadyang patented para sa gadget lang ng mga Apple, you can't download music using iPad without using iTunes, kaya kung hindi moa lam imaximized ang Apple, you can't even enjoy using it. Just like in our lovelife, kung hindi natin alam at kilala ang author ng Love, hindi natin maiintindihan ang love. Kung hindi rin natin alam ang manual which is our Bible o God's Word, we can't even understand how God pictured and planned our love story. May standard tayo pero may will ang Diyos sa buhay natin. Parang gadget, kahit Apple ang binigay sa atin, hinahanap pa rin natin si Android, minsan pa nga, hahanap pa tayo ng way para maging compatible si Apple at Android by using Share It app, kaya madalas nagkacrash or naghahang gadget natin kasi pinipilit natin ung gusto natin pero sa totoong buhay hindi ganun, meron at merong uniqueness ang bawat tao na hindi pwede ipilit sa iba para maging compatible.

​Ilang beses ko na nakita na ung mga Android app ay hindi nagrarun sa aking iPad kasi nga may sariling patented app si Apple, eto ung uniqueness ng Apple na tulad sa tao ay nakapatent kasi si God lang may likha.

​I believe that if we allow God to do His work in us, we will reach our full potential. Eto ung potentiality to grow and be matured as a person at maging deep sa pananaw sa buhay at the same time maging strong. Kaya habang tinatry kong magmove on noon sa past relationships, ang sarap ng feeling na kahit umiiyak ako eh may isang kaibigan akong hindi ako iiwan. God says in Hebrews 13:5; "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

​Naalala ko ung kanta ni Ms. Terry Javier na "May Kaibigan Ka" sa favorite AM radio station ko ang 702 DZAS, "May Kaibigan Ka, Na Higit Pa Sa Akin, May Kaibigan Ka, Sa Kanya ay Panalangin, Pangako Nya'y Di Ka Iiwan, Di Ka Pababayaan."

​Nakakakilig ung song kasi alam kong may isang kaibigan ako na magstay forever.

​Checklist 1: Stay Forever Achieved. Totoo naman kasi na only God can love us and the one who will stay with us for the rest of our lives. Yung tipong pangforever. Pero syempre may nakalaan talaga para sa bawat tao.

​The Bible says in Isaiah 46:4b; "I made you and will care for you; I will give you help and rescue you."

​Ang sweet ni Lord, di ba? Pero ano nga ba ang kaibahan ng our standard sa God's standard?

OUR IDEAL MAN versus GOD's IDEAL MAN FOR US

​In Webster's dictionary, an ideal man is a man of conception of something that is perfect, esp. that which one seeks to attain or a person or thing considered to represent perfection. The idea of perfection, the idea of excellence, someone na almost perfect that we always dream off. I realized na ung ideals o ideal man ko ay based lamang sa physical looks or appearance. Yung standard naman as Webster dictionary defined as a level of quality or attainment. Ito naman ung it speaks of who we are and what we are.

​So balikan natin ung standards ko, eto ung tatlong package deals na diniscuss ko. Package deals of mine talked about self-security or the Stay Forever package, self-companionship or the Bestfriend Package, at physical attributes or the Prince Package.

​

Lahat ng yun ay based sa personal views ko ng gusto kong fairy love stories. The question is, same ba ng ideal man ni God for me?

Ano nga ba ang ideal man ni God para sa atin? Well. Let me tell you. He is the kind of guy who would rather stay at home reading his bible and spending time with God worshiping Him than to be out partying with a group of friends on a Friday night. Eto yung guy na constantly longs for God's presence and who walks closely with Him. He will help that blind lady cross the street and become her eyes, or even help that lame old man to stand up and be his feet. He will also stand up for those who are being mocked and persecuted. Yung kahit masaktan sya, he will not fight back just like how Jesus did not fight back when He was being brutally tortured and beaten to death. That's when you'll know he is a solid follower of Christ. And that is God's ideal man for us. The idea of mine of having a knight in shining armor prince is somehow associated with a man of God, a warrior of God who knows how to stand for his own identity, so that, he may able to be the right warrior prince for every princess and woman. Mahirap hanapin yan pero alam natin na nothing is impossible. Si God pa ba? Naalala ko isang gabi nun habang nasa work ako, while teaching my Korean student, he asked me; "Teacher, what if your ideal man is not what God intended you to have? What will you do?" Then I simply replied him; "Okay lang basta si God ung nasa puso nya at hindi ako ilalayo sa Diyos." Then, that night, that very simple question from our discussion class, I asked myself paano nga kaya kung hindi at wala talaga yung ideal man ko. Anon a gagawin ko mga beshy?

​I remember myself talking to my journal that night, listing again my ideal checklist at ung God checklist for me at patuloy ko pa rin natatanong mga yun.

Ikaw bes, paano at ano gagawin mo? Noong araw ding yun, napagtanto ko na kailangan ang give and take ang relationship. Parang baunan lang yan, what if sa baunan mo may orange, tapos nagcrave ka sa apple, at ung baunan ng classmate mo may apple pero gusto nya orange, hindi mo ba isishare? Share it di ba? So, sa love ganun din, may mga list tayo ng gusto pero si God may ibang gusto para sa atin, so, ang mangyayari, God will show us the rare and special traits ng taong gusto nya para sa atin para makita natin na same o minsan mas higit pa nga sa gusto din natin. Always remember, a relationship is not about us, it is also about our partner that God gave us. It's about sharing lives to honor God as we grow old together.

​Ikaw bes, paano at ano gagawin mo? Noong araw ding yun, napagtanto ko na kailangan ang give and take ang relationship. Parang baunan lang yan, what if sa baunan mo may orange, tapos nagcrave ka sa apple, at ung baunan ng classmate mo may apple pero gusto nya orange, hindi mo ba isishare? Share it di ba? So, sa love ganun din, may mga list tayo ng gusto pero si God may ibang gusto para sa atin, so, ang mangyayari, God will show us the rare and special traits ng taong gusto nya para sa atin para makita natin na same o minsan mas higit pa nga sa gusto din natin. Always remember, a relationship is not about us, it is also about our partner that God gave us. It's about sharing lives to honor God as we grow old together.

Let me share to you the checklist na ginawa ko until I realized na hindi pala madali ang maghintay.

My Ideal man

• Physical: Chinito/Smiling Eyes, Killer Smile, Maputi/Fair Skin, Tamang Tangkad, Lean Body

• Characters: God-fearing, Mabait, Magalang, Thoughtful, Maasikaso

• Others: Talented/Artistic, Smart/Matalino, Musician, Creative, Book lover

God's Ideal man

• Physical

Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

• Characters

1 Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or height, for I have rejected him; the LORD does not see as man does. For man sees the outward appearance, but the LORD sees the heart."

• Others

Exodus 31:3-5 "And I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with ability and intelligence, with knowledge and all craftsmanship, to devise artistic designs, to work in gold, silver, and bronze, in cutting stones for setting, and in carving wood, to work in every craft."

Imagine my checklist ang dami nya pero lahat ng iyon may sagot ang Diyos, it only means na bago ko pa maisip yung mga gusto ko sa isang tao, naihanda na pala ni God para sa akin. Pero ang tanong, nasaan si the one?