Chapter 5 - Revelations

"What?"

Perhaps it was the downright bizarreness of this unexpected encounter, or maybe it was because a small part of him still was under the more believable impression that it all could just be a dream, he had no idea. All he knew, was that he felt a sudden urge to laugh upon hearing Beatrice's words.

"Go back to my own world?" He said, half exasperated half amused. "What kind of weird plot from a storybook is that?"

He couldn't help himself, he chuckled.

The shock of finding himself back in the place he tried his absolute hardest to let go had subsided. All he can do now was laugh at the absurdity of the whole thing. Yet even now, as he continued giggling away like a damned lunatic, he found himself wanting. He never really considered going back, never spared a thought about his old life. All he ever did was move on, start anew in this fantasy world, and when that didn't work, he just moved on again.

Thinking about it now, he felt a longing to do so, to go back. This world has already shown him enough to last him a lifetime, in his case, multiple lifetimes, he has had enough of it.

"I want to go back." He muttered, his laughter slowing to a halt.

"I know you do." Said Beatrice, who was quiet all throughout his contemplation. "Why else would you have come to me, I suppose?"

Question after question lined themselves up at the tip of his tongue, but the one that came out first was, "What did I do with you?".

"You're not making much sense, I suppose." She snapped. "Do you mind explaining why you're lacking in items?"

Again he found himself in the same position he was with Kris. Can he risk telling her about his amnesia? Would the witch come after him if he uttered anything to her?

"Beatrice..." He said slowly, bracing himself. "I... lost my memories. I have no idea what has happened for the past four weeks. I have no idea what's going on, or what I've done."

The speed of which the words left his mouth was rapid, quick enough that it was over within moments. His eyes were shut tight, fists clenched beside him... But nothing happened, the witch hadn't silenced him.

There was silence. Staring at each other. And then...

"Well, that would complicate things, I suppose," Beatrice said unperturbed. "Honestly, almost nothing goes right with you."

Subaru was still basking in the pleasant shock of being able to speak to respond, but still managed a look that displayed his confusion.

"You'll want to know what's going on, I suppose?" Beatrice asked, placing the big book on the table beside her.

"Yes, everything. I want to know..." Suddenly, he thought of something. "Emilia! Ram! Rem! A-Are they alive? Are they here?"

Beatrice opened her mouth to respond, but stopped suddenly, and looked over Subaru's shoulder, her eyebrows furrowed.

Following her gaze, Subaru turned back and saw that a mahoganized set of double wooden doors had replaced the simple door he had entered from.

"Someone's coming," Beatrice whispered.

"Huh?"

A second later, the handle sank downwards and the doors swung wide open. At the same time, Subaru felt a cold tingling sensation flowing down his entire body, and turning back towards Beatrice, found her with her hand outstretched towards him before lowering it hastily.

"What do I owe this late-night visit, I suppose?" She asked the figure at the doorway.

A soft soothing voice came to answer.

"Forgive me, Beatrice-sama. I just came to inquire if you've located Subaru-kun yet... Have you?"

Even before turning around again, Subaru instantly knew who it was that stood at the doorway. And sure enough, there walked Rem. Seeing her safe and sound and most of all, alive, Subaru could have leaped for joy and shouted out loud, but didn't. Something was off about her, the way she carried herself towards them. Lifeless and lethargic. No longer with the elegance and gracefulness, he was so accustomed to seeing her with, and she seemed to be giving off an air of absolute misery.

And he knew why... But a more demanded answer was needed for the question that was blaring loudly in his head. Why is Rem alive?

Subaru made to call for her, but a sudden loud cough brought his attention back to Beatrice, who had her fist clenched tightly around her mouth and staring at him from the corner of her eye. He understood and kept his mouth shut.

"Excuse me, it's a little dusty here, I suppose." She said, taking her warning eyes off Subaru and onto Rem. "You want to know if there has been any progress?"

Rem gave a single nod.

"I hope you'd excuse my impatience. But I do hope that after all this time, you'd have come across a sign of him... anything... that tells us he's there.

It was a strange feeling. Rem asking Beatrice of his whereabouts, when he was standing right beside her. He tempt himself to reach for her shoulder, his arm raising slightly, but ultimately decided against it. There had to be a reason why Beatrice had made his presence unnoticeable. So with his lips tightened, his hands placed firmly by his side, he watched on.

"Unfortunate to say, Kararagi is a rather vast country. It's size can easily hide anyone seeking to disappear. It's no surprise I haven't found him yet, I suppose. Are you certain he's even there?"

"He is... I'm more than sure of it. He told me himself." She insisted, her eyes glinting with a hint of annoyance. "Please tell me that you have at least found a trail."

"No."

Rem was looking more crestfallen by the second, and Beatrice seemed to have notice this as well, because she added saying, "Giving up now would be wise. Remaining optimistic beyond this point would simply be surpassing the boundaries of foolishness, I suppose."

At those words, Rem caught herself and straightened her demeanor. Her expression suggesting anger, her nostrils flaring with irritation. But when she spoke again, her voice was calm and passive, perhaps slightly uptight, nonetheless still with the proper etiquette of a maid.

"This task was asked of you by Roswaal-sama under the request of Emilia-sama. I highly doubt Emilia-sama would readily heed and accept your, quite honestly, unneeded advice. Continue searching... I'm sure Emilia-sama would want that."

Emilia requested to search for him? Then she's alive as well? How was this possible?

Subaru's stomach was cartwheeling inside of him at this overload of revelations. It took every fiber in his body to stifle all of his gasps of surprise and to not shout out his absolute bewilderment. Was Ram alive too? Is the village and all of its residents still standing tall and unharmed? Unconsciously, Subaru directed all of his silenced inquires towards Rem, as if thinking she'd answer them all at once.

"Yet why is it, that you are the one that only asks for updates? If the half-elf really wanted me to find him, why isn't she here to ask me, instead of you, I suppose?" Said Beatrice.

"You are well aware yourself that Emilia-sama has been attending to the royal selection, stating the reason for her absence at a meeting." Said Rem, impatiently.

"A meeting she would have been present to, if not for the dreadful news that you came back with, I suppose."

"Which is further proof that Emilia-sama does want to find him. If she isn't concerned of Subaru-kun's well being, then why did she skip an important event to look for Subaru-kun herself?" She challenged, neglecting to uphold her mannerisms.

"So you are solely asking on her behalf then? Is that why every single day without fail, you would open every door in the mansion to look for me, no matter how obscure I made the location, just for the half-elf's sake?" She scoffed, disbelievingly. "If so, you're a very dedicated housemaid, I suppose. And for that, I applaud you."

There was a long silence that hung in the air, one that Subaru thought would last forever. It gave him time to think, time to feel. A wave of different emotions struck him as the conversation went on, the one that always remained and perhaps the strongest of them all, was guilt. Suddenly, he felt that he did not want to talk to Rem anymore, ashamed of himself.

Rem was the one who broke the tense silence.

"Where are you going with this?" She asked, her face mixed with both anger and confusion.

"Do you care about finding him? Are you yourself wanting for his return?"

Rem's answer was almost instantaneous.

"Of course I do! There has not been a single day where I did not blame myself for Subaru-kun's leaving. A day where this aching in my heart ceased, if only for a while. Do you think it does not bother me, knowing that I could have stopped him? Why is it do you think that I personally have let you absorbed my mana in tremendous amount to have you continue looking for Subaru-kun each and every day? I want to find him... I want Subaru-kun back..."

Another long silence followed, in which the gnawing of guilt Subaru felt increased to a tenfold. He did not deserve this much concern over him. He did not deserve Emilia's concern nor Rem's concern, and he especially did not deserve to return back here after what he has done to them.

He wanted to reach for her, tell her how sorry he was, but he couldn't. He had no right to feel sorry. Again, Subaru felt a great wave of shame and averted his gaze downwards. Seeing her on the verge of tears again hurt too much.

On the other hand, Beatrice stared, unfazed, uncaring. Only giving a mere sigh before speaking once again.

"Then I must ask, I suppose. Why did you let him go?"

The look in which Rem gave would have been enough to send a chill up anyone's spine. Staring daggers, with her hands trembling in restrained rage. For a second, Subaru thought she might attack Beatrice and was about to intervene until Rem spoke again in a voice that was a little more than a whisper.

"I don't know..."

Her tone was that of longing, Subaru could feel the sadness in her words, the loneliness.

"Very well," Beatrice said after a while. "You've asked what you came to ask. I will continue searching, be at ease on that front. You may go now, I suppose."

"Thank you." She muttered, perhaps slightly mutinously.

Her head was cast downwards as she turned back and walked, silent in her sullen and depressive pace. It pained to see her like that. Subaru was again tempted to call out for her, tell her he's right there, just so he could see a surprised, overjoyed expression on her face.

He thinks this as he watches her go, his spirits deteriorating with each dejected step she took closer and closer to the double doors.

Meow

Rem abruptly stopped in her tracks, Subaru's eyes widened in surprise and Beatrice pursed her lips with the most frustrated look upon her face.

"You just had to bring a stupid cat with you, I suppose?" Beatrice whispered furiously, staring daggers at a speechless and confounded Subaru.

"It isn't like I expected to be back here, okay? This isn't my fault and you didn't say anything when you first saw her. Also, don't call her stupid." He hissed back.

To the side, appearing slowly behind a bookcase, Emilia took a curious step towards Rem. Its blue eyes met Rem's own as it took another cautious step towards her, sniffing the air tentatively. Rem continued to stand where she stood, eyes fixated upon the feline, apparently caught off guard by its presence.

Once it neared her, it began to softly brush itself against her, meowing and purring with delight, having taken a liking to the blue-haired maid. Rem blinked, her eyebrows scrunched up, apparently at lost at a reaction. Slowly, she bent forward and picked up the white fluff, cradling it in her arms, and for a moment, only for a moment, Subaru caught a small smile on her face as she stroke the cat's belly with one finger before quickly vanishing, catching sight of a bright glint at its neck.

Her mouth hung slightly agape, turning back towards Beatrice with her eyes, shining with confusion or maybe it was hope? Subaru only knew she had one final question to ask.

"Beatrice-sama..." She began slowly. "Where did this come from?"

"Must have wandered in from one of the doors I conjured up, I suppose." She quickly made up on the spot. "Even I was not aware of it being here. I'll sent it back at once."

"Send me with it!" Rem suddenly said and for once, surprise flicked across the apathetic face of Beatrice.

"For whatever reason? You don't possibly think you'll find the boy from a mere animal, do you?"

"Look at its collar. It's name is Emilia! The owner chose that name, and I think that maybe-"

"You think that maybe it belongs to Subaru?" Beatrice interrupted.

Rem nodded her, looking more lively and confident than ever before. "Yes, it's worth a try."

"Don't make me laugh. That's the most far fetched conclusion I've ever heard. I highly doubt the boy would even want to remember any of us if he ran away so suddenly, so why would he name a cat after someone he was besotted over? Besides, I don't even know which door it came from, so I doubt I'd even send you to the right one, I suppose."

But Rem was no longer listening to reason, further insisting that she be sent forward to a door, any door. Leaving Beatrice to come up with many excuses as she can to further deny her the chance. Until finally, on the brink of snapping, Beatrice placed her foot down.

"Listen to yourself, I suppose! You are willing to disobey a direct order from your Master, who specifically told you not to leave the premises until that half-elf was done with her business in the Capital, just to chase after a boy who wants nothing to do with you!"

"If it's Subaru-kun, any order is worth disobeying! I rued the day I let him leave, I'm not making the same mistake twice and letting this chance go. Send me!" She shouted back, Emilia cowering in fear in her arms.

"We don't even know if it belongs to him! If I send you now, I'd lose the connection we have and I wouldn't have enough mana to bring you back. Don't you see it is better if you just wait a little longer-- No wait, listen to me, do not speak! Wait a fortnight longer, I will find him and reunite him with you. If I don't by then, I promise you, I will send you to Kararagi where you can look for him and I will do so gladly, no questions asked! For now... Let me rest." Finished Beatrice, heaving a great tired sigh. "Bickering with you has usurped my energy, I suppose."

Rem appeared to be mulling over her words, conflicted, between the choices presented to her. Till finally, her expression began to loosen, no longer tainted with agitation, reverting back to her usual look and when she spoke, her words had a tone of finality to them.

"A fortnight. If you fail, you will send me to Kararagi." She said, then turned back, walking towards the door. "I ask that you do not speak of this matter to my sister. I doubt she would approve of my decision."

"Yes, yes, before you do go, I ask that you leave the kitten here. If not, I believe its owner would be very distraught by its sudden disappearance, I suppose."

Gently, Rem laid Emilia onto the floor, patting it once on the head, before reaching the door and closing it shut behind her.

At once, Beatrice let out a great big sigh of relief, slumping lazily in her chair and closing her eyes.

"Honestly, the things that are asked of me. I doubt they even appreciate them, I suppose." She then opened one eye and focused it on the slouched figure to the side that was Subaru. "I pray that you caught every bit of information you can from our little chat."

"Emilia asked you to search for me, she's now at the capital, everyone's alive, no one has been attacked..." Subaru said quietly, still rather dumbfounded and incredulous by the amount of dedication Rem has towards him. "But I don't understand... You found me already, why hide that fact?"

"You asked me too, I suppose." She said, yawning. Then catching sight of Subaru's face, gave another sigh. "Better sit down. This is going to be a long tale, I suppose."

And a long tale it was. Apparently, a week after settling in Kararagi, Beatrice happened to stumble upon the exact door of his residence, ready to report her findings to Rem, but Subaru begged her not to, claiming that he couldn't face them, ashamed of his running away and in the midst of his rambling, started pleading for her help.

"Help in what exactly?" Subaru asked at this point.

"You confessed that you are not of this world." Beatrice explained.

In that one week, Subaru, for some reason, became fixated in returning to his own world, enough so to tell Beatrice of his origin and asked if there was a way to send him back. And apparently, there was. Kararagi was the key to this.

"As it so happens, Kararagi is a land that was rumored to be a gateway to an entirely different world. A land of ancient magic. Over the years, many discoveries were made that further advanced the country. The term 'Metia' was coined to label these discoveries, and since then, many more have been found. Yet no one knows where they originate, all that was understood, was that they did not belong to this world."

Subaru recalled the clock tower in the city and wondered whether that too was based off a Metia.

"Some suspect it may have come from another world, but most believe it to be ancient magic from a long lost civilization that lived hundreds of years before. Both are in fact true in their claims, but no one could differentiate between the two and so both are known as metia. Yours is an example of a metia, though I may say, its design surpasses that of any known other world metia discovered so far."

"What does this have to do with sending me back?" Subaru asked.

"I'm getting to that. Stop interrupting me, I suppose." She snapped impatiently. "Kararagi is the land where most metia are discovered. Meaning to say, that if a gateway does exist, it is hidden somewhere in Kararagi. I can open it and send you back. But-" She added, seeing Subaru's face light up. "I'll be needing a few things. First, the location. Second, five more metia originating from your land of... What was it, Japan? Both of these were your tasks to accomplish. But since you've lost your memories, you have yet to make progress, I suppose."

"Sorry about that..."

"When we first discussed this, you claimed that you might have already found the location of this gateway. But now it seems you are going to have to find it all over again, I suppose."

"Why do you need the metia though?" Asked Subaru, unconsciously touching his own.

"I need them to pinpoint the exact location of your own world, strengthen the connection to yours, even if they do not have a hint of magic in them, they'll still prove infallible when the time comes."

As he sat there taking this all in, Subaru couldn't help but think. That sack he was supposedly carrying off somewhere last night, the man in the sewer claiming he had stolen his metia... It seemed he had already collected them, but why did he dispose of them? And... Could they possibly be in the house he awoke in?

"Now, thanks to a promise to a rather tenacious maid, we have two weeks before I am forced to send her to you. I regret not having worded it differently, if I had, then I could have just send her to someplace random, I suppose. Even if it's somewhere else in Kararagi, I have no doubt in my mind that she will find you."

She got up from her chair and walked towards the double door, her hand outstretched towards it. The door shifted and twisted in size, shrinking, reforming, until it reverted to the same simple, wooden door he had entered from.

"I will find you in a week. By then, I expect you to have found the location and the metia." She said.

"Right..." Getting up, Subaru gently picked up Emilia who had been resting by his side and made his way towards the door, opening it, revealing the dark hallway of the second floor in Kris's house. He turned back once, glimpsing upon the library for one last time before stepping through the threshold that separated two entirely different places.

"One last thing." Beatrice called out through the doorway. "I believe your metia holds some sort of clue to the location. It wouldn't hurt to check it, I suppose."

"What do you-" Subaru looked back, only to find the door already closed shut. All implications of any strange encounters vanished away along with the library. The sole indication that he had not dreamt it all being Emilia struggling to free itself from his grasp, which he gladly let loose, and his own waking consciousness, still staring idly at the blank wall.

A chant was forming in his head, like a song of sorts, repeating in a loop. Location, Metia, Home, Location, Metia, Home, Location, Metia, Home.

Mixing in with the voices echoing loudly, as if a muffled, dying speaker was attached to his shoulder.

-"Do you think it does not bother me, knowing that I could have stopped him?"

-"I want him back... I want Subaru-kun back."

-"If it's Subaru-kun, any order is worth disobeying!"

While his mind continues to barrage itself with question after question after question.

Why didn't the witch cult attack? How did I lose my memories? Can I really go back? What did Beatrice mean by that?

Wanting an answer to at least one of his questions, Subaru flipped open his phone, the screen flickering to life and began skimping through the menu for something, anything that can explain everything.

His contacts, music, ringtones, notes, games, gallery and finally, in his messages archives, he received an answer.

It felt like his heart took a deep plunge into his stomach, which too felt as if it was twisting in its own way. He stared at the bright glow of the LCD screen, motionless, breathless. In it, contained voicemails he personally knew had never been there before he came to this world. And all of them were from the same two prominent figures in his contact list. His Mom and Dad.