Shiro_MSFA
because someone asked and corrected my novel, so I made this statement. I have fixed the synopsis, hopefully it will be easier to understand. let me tell you a little plot. so actually there are two story lines, from 2 different novels. one is EEWAO and another is New World which I haven't published yet. the stories of the two novels are interconnected and when EEWAO is finished I will publish New World novel that I myself feel is very very good, because there are lessons in history, culture and so on from all over the world. I created EEWAO to remember my game friends and improve the quality of my writing before I published New World. so I hope when I make New World, the quality will be better. btw I am still learning to write, so your review is very useful for me.
quiet enjoy it, i wish it getting better, dont drop it. remember.. there are people who wait for this story. ...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Honest Review Found this one has potential, feels a lot like Sword Art Online. (A very hard to read version of it.) The Good: Character classes are unique and it is nice to see an MC that isn't 100% righteous for once. The Bad: Hard to follow... it jumps around a lot with little to no indication. I found the world setting kind of convoluted and some of the situations to be pointless. It feels like a lot of this is filler content so far because I really only care about Shiro and people he interacts with. The Neutral: Objectively describing someone as "sexy" leaves it open to interpretation, that's not a bad thing by itself, but who thinks it is sexy? (i.e. the observers, the characters, the readers, NPCs?) Maybe I missed it, but why are they stuck in the world? Maybe add a note that senshi = warrior and the significance of it so people don't think "WTF are senshis? Sounds like sushi!" or something like that. (Assuming that is what you meant it to be) Feel free to review back and I'll add you on Line if you would like editing help.
Don't let the reviews fool you... The story starts really nicely but just keeps you waiting to fully grasp the concept and never really gets there. It has no plot or direction.. You never really understand what you're reading.. The mc is non-existent for about 75% of the story. I hope the author gets better in his next story because this one is disappointingly bland.
From what I’ve read, the concept of the story itself isn’t bad. The story on the other hand is a mess. The chapters introduce a new character almost every chapter and doesn’t bother to develop them. By chapter 25, I’ve been introduced to more than 15 characters who have no connection to the Mc. Most of them only appear for once chapter before the next chapter switches back to the Mc. I have nothing against knowing a lot of characters or some background information, but throwing a bunch of irrelevant characters into the story every other chapter just makes the reader confused and lose focus. With how much POVs you keep switching too, at this point I doubt if the Mc is even the Mc.
Story seems interested, but the Synopsis is just a mess. Its confusing and does not accurately represent exactly whats going on. All I picked up was that he gets trapped in game, becomes emperor, somehow takes game army to real world and fights world government (who again somehow did something called a "soul harvest") and then somehow wins. Is that the whole plot of the book explained or is that everything before the book even starts?