Battlefield Restart (Dropped)

In my time of youth, getting a job was definitely not the first thing that came to my mind whenever I thought about what to do in the extremely large amount of free time I had. Instead, the first thing I always thought about was how to effectively waste my time...!

I was too self-centred at the time and saw the world through a filter. Maybe it was because of my twisted Primary School life or perhaps it was due to my own bad luck. I was a kid who was born with asthma and eczema, causing others to look at me with disgust.

My 'friendly' classmates bullied me openly whenever the teachers left the classroom in order to do other tasks. It was definitely the mental and physical torture they dished out in my youth that had affected my outlook on life, leading me grow up as a person with low self-esteem and cowardice.

My parents and siblings tried to help me, my teachers tried their best to talk it out with their students, but that only made matters worse. The bullying became more intense, to the point that those heartless beasts would start beating me whenever we arrived at the playground, but that didn't mean I didn't fight back. My low self-esteemed personality became one that could easily be enraged because of it. I didn't know at the time that my rage back then was fuelled by fear...

Time passed... Many events unfolded and many people who were once my bullies turned into something close to my acquaintances. They realised their faults and admitted to their own wrongdoings before apologising for their actions in a polite way. It was either that or they just jointly decided to ignore the short-tempered and antisocial guy I became.

The time for the final school exams arrived and everything I knew from that point changed dramatically. My classmates would still mess around like every other year. However, even as they did, all of them would take the time at home to catch up with schoolwork due to the pressure exerted by their strict parents. I had dyslexia at that time so I wasn't able to leave the school with high marks, but even so, my marks were enough to get average results.

After that traumatising period of my life went by, I attended my new Secondary School with a blank slate. The Secondary School I went to wasn't as good as my Primary School when it came to the quality of their facilities. However, it was still a good place to make a fresh start so I could forget my past.

It's too bad the younger me of that time was filled with paranoia, unable to put his trust in others and unable to hide the feelings that displayed on his face. A very awkward guy who tried and failed in his attempts make 'friends' despite not even knowing what they were supposed to be...

What were friends anyway? My older brother had always been a dilinquent who hung out with the wrong crowds and made many 'friends' who never cared at all for his well-being yet still stayed close to him. He was a likable and social guy who was really good at handling people around him. I just can't understand why he chose to use his great skills in handling people to be nice to those kind of guys...

It would have been easy to categorise the people around me as who were friends and those who were not if I had one example to work with... but the fact my older sister was also able to make many 'normal' friends twisted my perception of 'friendships'...

What is a friend, and could I truly make one? Who counts as a friend? I knew a guy in the school library who would speak to me kindly... But can he be considered a friend of mine? Maybe.

Even now I'm not quite sure... I was already used to being treated badly so getting to know new people who would treat me 'kindly' was a first for me after entering Secondary School... It made me confused...

Back then, I had a chance to start fresh and obtain the school life I always wanted. I could have easily made some friends if I went with the flow and joined those who reached out to me. It's just too bad I was too afraid open my heart... My early years as an outcast were engraved into my soul!

The result of these kind of paranoid actions made my Secondary School life nearly a copy of my first but with more secretive bullies.

The 'me' of that time thought he was the most pitiful person in the world. It's truly laughable that I thought that way, but it's the truth. I didn't think of the good people I met in my life and I didn't try to improve the relationships I had with others. My grades were merely passable and I never made an effort to improve myself. Well, at least my personality improved and the illnesses I was born with were suppressed over time.

Then came College and University, the two most important educations needed to get a high paying job. I decided to just whimsically pick anything I liked and barely passed an advanced science course at my College. However, I didn't even have high enough scores to get into University after getting my results.

That younger self of mine was such an idiot! I can't believe I tried to stay at home and live off my parents by staying in my room, refusing to find work in order to have more time to waste reading Manga and watching Anime. After my parents and siblings forced me into joining military, my job is that of a soldier that actually gets sent to dangerous areas was almost enough to take my life!

As a soldier, work was extremely hard to the point of exhaustion... especially those missions in Afghanistan. My paranoia saved me more times than I could count, my perceptiveness and sensitivity to danger sharpened over time as I realised my own 'hidden talents'.

Most would say that living such a life was practically hell on earth. Well, it is a good thing I'm not 'most', my opinion was that those days with my brothers and sisters-in-arms were essentially the best days I ever lived!

I found brotherhood with the comrades as I fought with side by side with them at the edge of death. They were all comrades who would take a bullet for me and 'siblings' I could rely on, but it's just a shame that I wasn't the same. I was a coward that selfishly fought only for his own survival! I was a coward who could only leave those reliable comrades of mine and ran away from every dangerous encounter I faced...!

One of my brother-in-arms died right before me and all I could do was mourn at his sacrifice.... Years passed, and I gained more experience with time, but the amount of brothers that were lost in battle increased as rivers of time went on. After years of endless battles between life and death, the army finally allowed me to rest. Well... You could call it that or you could also call it abandonment considering the delicate yet extremely high position I obtained through my own blood, sweat, and tears!

I had become a hero of a century. A fiendish demon to many, yet still a saintly hero to those of the nation I protected. Well... At least to the citizens. The political world was a stormy sea and I was just one boat who hoping I wouldn't sink... It's a good thing there were still people helping me out behind the scenes so I didn't fall into any political traps.

Sometimes I wonder if the decisions I made were worth the effort... No, I shouldn't think like that. My comrades would have died in vain if I hadn't ended up earning at least a few years of peace for the nation. I truly want to believe their deaths was for nothing, that they had a purpose...

I feel 'old' now...

Now, as an eighty year old man, the regrets I feel when looking back at my life are extremely high. Sadly, all I can do now is sit on this wooden armchair and lament about the past. The world around me slowly became grey and lifeless, or maybe it just my eyes playing tricks on my mind again...

Reality could sometimes look entirely different through a filter created by a person's own limited perspective of the world, but something seems strange. Could it be that I've finally become senile? Well... I guess that doesn't matter anymore considering there isn't anyone to scold me even if I HAVE become strange with time.

Since that's the case: I guess it time for me to man up and accept reality.

Alrighty then! Guess it's time to try using an internal battle cry to wake myself up: 'ROOOOAAAAAR!!!' Wow, I kinda feel tired after doing such a great amount of exercise in my own head. No, that feeling only a mere illusion, wake the hell up!

Whew, that should do the trick. I wonder if I should stretch as well?

Hah... Living for so long takes its tole on a person. My senses are no longer as sharp as they used to be and I no longer have the composure I used to keep up in front of my fellow brothers... Even though I'm a master of five martial arts and also someone who was part of a secret world called 'The Abyss', I still feel fatigued to the point of wanting eternal rest.

Would I get to see them in the afterlife? Meh... Who knows? I'm still planning to live as long as I can in case the afterlife doesn't exist.

The doctor said I had dementia. He looked serious when he told me my condition but- Ha! Like hell I'd believe him! There's no way a healthy guy like me who had enhanced his body above normal human limits could have such an illness! I'm pretty sure it's probably his imagination...

"Oh please, Great Hero, hear and answer our calls." A soft and gentle voice resounded in my ear. I got up off my seat cautiously and looked around, choosing not to answer the disembodied feminine voice out of pure reflex since I felt that the world would cave in around me if I did...

"Oh please, Great Hero, hear and answer our calls." The female voice I heard in my ear moments ago seemed to be accompanied this time with the voices of several older males. Their aged voices along with the woman's soft voice resounded in my ear once more, yet this time I felt a physical attractive force that seemed to distort the grey-coloured world around me.

I didn't know what to do in such circumstances but a habit that was ingrained into me through many years as a soldier acted up, allowing me to quickly arm myself to be combat-ready for any incident that was to occur. I readied myself for battle by quickly putting on a bulletproof vest and loaded the rifle I hid under my bed's cushion, a murderous intent radiated in my eyes as I was prepared to eliminate any suspicious individuals!

"Who the hell are you?" I asked the soft voices resounding in my head. The world around me distorted as I suddenly felt my body being transported somewhere. The next thing I knew I was already inside a European-like Castle. In front of me was a middle-aged man dressed in luxurious gold ornaments who was sitting on a throne. He looked down on me from above like a king among men while asserting his dominance!

I was completely dumbfounded by the sudden change of events. I never thought that I'd be kidnapped from my own home. I look at the people around me more clearly and see that everyone seemed to have dressed up in strange outfits. There's no way I'd call what they have on costumes because the metal swords that these 'Knights' had sheathed near their waists were more than just plastic  toys... Even 'I' with my dulled senses could smell the faint smell of blood in the air. These guys are dangerous...!

When my eyes glanced at the bright radiance below my feet, my old heart trembled violently. An emotion of incomprehensible shock was written all over my face as I tried to calm down my violent emotions. Under my feet were glowing and patterned circular marking that many old priest-looking men held their palms towards with a look of worship.

"Who are you? And what do you want with me?" I quickly analysed my surroundings and pointed my rifle at the most important person sitting on the throne above me. The knight-like warriors in luxuriously crafted steel armour pulled out their swords and tightly surrounded me in response.

"Oh please, Great Hero, slay the Fiend King and bring peace to the Heavenly Divine Sword Kingdom." The rich man decreed with an aura of superiority which was similar to that of true european royalty.

A King? Wait, why does this sound so familiar? After my body was suddenly 'summoned' into this strange castle, I suddenly felt my mind grow a bit clearer, it was as if my body was somehow being rejuvenated by the sword that was stabbed into the ground in front of me.

Time seemed to slow down as I quickly looked around for information before deciding how I should respond to the luxurious yet fat-covered man who I felt was somehow looking down on me.

The man claimed that he is from a foreign Kingdom which I have never heard of and is now currently 'requesting' me to fight against enemies he claims are 'Fiends'?

I feel like shooting him already...!

Why would I fight another man's war?!

I'm not some foolish youth who'd fall for such a vague explanation. Judging from the fact that the man in front of me is wearing an excessive amount of gold accessories, the fact that not only him but even the 'nobles' around him are as fat as pigs, and the fact that he seems to be completely relaxed on his throne: I can safely say that I was 'summoned' to another world to be some kind of advanced super-soldier.

And yes, I've completely accepted the fact that I was 'summoned' after secretly pinching myself. I really couldn't help but let out a deep and emotional sigh after understanding that I somehow I got myself caught up in a truly troublesome mess...

He wants me to be their Hero...? Like hell I will! I am already in enough trouble back on Earth. However, just as I was about to voice my countless complaints, my body felt numb as my arms started to turn to dust. I could only watch on in horror as my body started to disintegrate in this foreign world as soon as it arrived.

I'm... dying...? This... doesn't make... sense...! What happened to the cliché development of forming a hero party and slaying the demon king? Am I really going to die so ridiculously? I can't accept this!

To be shown the hope of surviving old age and then having that hope taken away from me filled me with a great amount of despair. Even if I wasn't going to have a pleasant life in this world like the main characters from those 'another world' stories, I would've still benefited from surviving a bit longer.

A light flashed in my eyes as everything from my youth all the way to my current old age replayed in my head, my fading consciousness re-experienced the wars of my past.

However, just before I died, it was to my surprise that I had somehow 'remembered' a memory which should've been unfamiliar to me.

No, was it really 'my' memory?

It was like a repeat of what just recently transpired, but my body was transported to a mountain that was surrounded by the beauties of nature instead of a large castle.

Compared to the scheming 'King' that tried to trick me into doing free labour, this 'Emperor' (or Chief of all Fiend Clans) that summoned me was a lot more straightforward by calling me their warrior and offering compensation for my services as their Clan Union's 'Sacred Totem'.

By 'Totem', it seemed like the strangely dressed people with animalistic features wanted to give me a position that was similar to that of a Hero. Unlike the King I previously met, their Emperor offered compensation for my troubles instead of trying to take advantage of me.

Be it in temperament or sincerity, the so-called 'Fiends' had a lot more of it compared to that fat king. It's too bad the throne made of humanoid skeletal bones ruined their image entirely.

Well, the difference between their way of welcoming me changed nothing because I still died soon after being summoned. But why can I remember this? Why does my memory split into two sections after being summoned?

I guess I'll never get to know the answer... I looked at the King in front of me with unwilling eyes as I fell to my knees. My body finally disintegrated into dust that was blown away by the wind... I can't believe my grave will be in these a foreign lands of mysterious and magical world...!