The Moonwind Swordsman’s Perspective (1)

If girls like frills and ribbons then guys like belts, and lots of them. That's the kind of unfunny joke I would have said if I hadn't learned first hand that both these things aren't nice to be worn.

'You must have had a hard time...'

Like you would know... What can you possibly understand. You wouldn't comprehend this emotion I'm feeling right now. Whenever I look at this girl, I feel like I can put all the pieces together.

When I was young, I had many friends. It was to the point it was hard to keep track of everyone's feelings. I was happy and content with living a normal life as your average Wind Swordsman.

It was Dorothy who ruined my life, but I can tell just from looking at her face that no amount of anger I projected onto her would hurt her heart. It was to the point that I didn't know what made her like this.

Why, after treating me in such a way, did she obediently put up with the violence I threw at her the moment she let me out of captivity? Why is it she found such an abuse to be completely normal?

'It is hard to call THAT abuse. It sounds more like you venting your anger at the crazed criminal.'

I met Angelica near the same time I was suffering from depression after that incident happened.

'I see... Sounds like a scene from a RomCom.' I had no idea what he was saying but I got what he meant thanks our connection, or should I consider him a 'she' now that his gender has changed?

I myself thought it was the beginning of a budding love relationship... My immaturity came from still having the complacency of someone who thought like a guy and had the common emotions of one.

'Why tell an outsider like me this?'

Aren't you the one always asking questions? It's weird when you suddenly stop asking things.

'Fine. Did you love her?'

...You really know how to cut deep.

'I only asked something obvious.'

But you know yourself that this 'obvious question' doesn't have such a clear-cut answer, don't you?

'Then how is the answer complicated?'

Because I had known what it's like to be a girl and felt my male body to be foreign after so long...

You know of the 'male gaze', right?

'I am someone who knows a lot about being a male due to existing as one before, so give it a guess.'

I'm not trying to pick a fight about your decision to be a girl in your 'current life'. The reason I brought that up is because I won't be able to answer your first question without bringing this topic up.

You know, I never noticed how different it was to be a girl until I had my body forcibly changed. No one would understand my perspective, but I feel like you would be able to emphasise if I told you.

'You need someone to hear you out?'

Please... I need someone to hear this.

'As a friend of yours, I will listen intently.'

Thank you... You don't know how much that means to me... and I hope we can stay friends afterwards.

As you already know, there have always been biological differences between males and females that go deeper than how we socially interpret them... Does having 'rod' make you a man?

Of course that's not it. From the research I did about ancient times through buying time to read at the Guild's library, I found that males have always considered themselves the dominators of humanity. The weaker gender was dismissed...

The tales I read of how females would always play a supportive roles as the males went to hunt for food gave me a better idea of what insights I was trying to attain. Who could guess that I would find what I was looking for in a tale about Royalty?

Hear this: Actually, there used to be exactly one Royal Family in this world before their 'branches' came into existence. It is said that the Sun God created a 'King' based off his image and created that ruler's 'Queen' based off his temperament.

The King would inherit the harshness and cruelty of the Sun in order to make decisive choices while the Queen would be inherit his warmth for all the children of his creation. Perhaps this is the legend that made a distinction in what 'roles' gender plays.

Perhaps in the past, this King and Queen had their specific temperaments because of this fictional God, but what of the latter generations? Did the common sense of ancient times survive to this day merely because of a legend? I don't believe so...

In fact, I feel it has more to do with upbringing and our bodies themselves. They are the key to the answer I sought. In time, I was able to bring myself to remember back not to those times i was held captive, but the times me and Dorothy were close.

I thought back to that time and realised, that what I believed to be a platonic friendship was actually what she considered as 'love'. As I had been given the 'dominance' to sever our relationships any time, she felt herself to be in the role of a 'woman'.

I once heard a roguish Noble of Drakeyol Kingdom once say the words: 'A woman best trait is her beauty and silence.' And almost couldn't control myself from beating him up, but who could've thought that my everyday interactions proved his strange taste to be what all men wanted. All they wanted was to find someone they could 'own'.

It's no wonder in the fictional tales of Gods and Goddesses that I had read, infidelity was a common occurrence. As if man and women were born incompatible from the very beginning.

Although they needed each other for the continuation of their species, their hearts could never resonate with each other. Though that sounds a little exaggerated, do you think anyone other than us would understand what it's like to be beautiful girls that guys desire? I think not... unless Dorothy used her ability on someone else as well.

'So what your are trying to say is: Guys are sexist.'

You know that is NOT what I meant.

'You are too feminist.'

Am I? This feels normal to me right now.

'Well... You only saw the downsides to being in a female body, so it is understandable you think that way. However, like you already said. Both genders can live independently from each other, so why do you think they still support each other till this day?'

I don't know anymore...

'Think a little more. Have girls never taken advantage of guys who are too self-important?'

I have no idea what you're talking about.

'Beauty is not a disadvantage. You have never been undesirable in your youth till adulthood, so what would YOU know? I myself know what it feels like to have no pride or self-confidence thanks to not living up to my standards as a man should.'

These emotional words made my mind remember memories that weren't my own. It was the first time I saw the perspective of someone who was bullied in his youth, an experience that moved my heart.

The more I thought about it. The more I felt like I could understand his viewpoint on the matter.

'Remember, there is a common thread between all sins that have nothing to do if you are a man or woman. Both sides are equally to blame as the way one thinks is up to how they are raised from youth.'

Are you saying I'm wrong?

'Not entirely, but your insight does not have the depth it should thanks to you only knowing what it is like to be dominated when you were turned into a girl. Think, Dorothy was the one who wanted to switch roles. What does that mean exactly?'

That she wanted 'dominance' as well.

'Exactly!'

Then how do you explain her sister. From the very beginning, Angelica had never asked anything of me and had only spoiled me from the time I came here. She has always been 'submissive'.

'That is only in your perspective.'

What are you trying to say? Can't you be clearer about this? I'm getting agitated by your vagueness.

'You have to find out yourself. If I tell it to you, then you won't have time to brace your mind and accept reality. I would rather keep you ignorant of these secrets if you are unable to uncover them yourself.'

Hearing how he was blocking my own questions again, I shifted attention to the 'angel' of my life who had always been there for me. She was the only one who had believed I had been held captive.

"How have you been lately?" She suddenly sighed in relief as I stopped staring and broke the silence.

"Pretty good. No one really talks to me the same way you do. They always get scared of me."

"Why so?" I went along with the flow.

"My dad was the previous Shadow Head of Fiery Power. He was a very scary person back then."

"How is he now?"

"He passed on a long time ago... Leaving me, Mom, and Dorothy to fend for ourselves. It is only thanks to the support of the people that were left behind that I could become the next 'Ruler of Nobility'."

"He died a long time ago...?" This was the first lie I've seen her speak. From what me and Harmony had found out, it was only a little after the time Dorothy found her Origin Shards did her father somehow disappear entirely as if into this air.

"Were you not close?"

"Oh~ You're finally taking interest in my past? You should know a lady likes to keep her secrets~"

"I am only curious, you don't have to answer."

"Not at all, I'll be happy to oblige. Actually, Dorothy was the one who was always loved by our parents."

My hand couldn't help but tremble upon hearing this blatant lie. If it weren't for the past that I had already seen a good portion of Dorothy's past thanks to Harmony's ability, I would have believed that sweet voice that gently caressed my heart.

"Oh! You should take better care of yourself. Look at the tea you've split." Angelica's words made me realise that some of the tea I held had spilt onto my clothes. Without showing any signs of reluctance in her expression, she took out a handkerchief before walking in my direction. After standing before me and seeing the stain on my shirt, she carefully dabbed it with a look of concentration on her face.

Truly, I admit that Angelica was an exotic beauty that's hard to come by. Her style, temperature, and fashion sense was very appealing. It was to the point I could consider her my 'first love'.

That's why... I wanted to believe in her. Was she being threatened to speak like this by Dorothy? I just needed an excuse, anything. Please, just stop this already and speak to me honestly.

"Hehe, are you mesmerised again~? Don't be embarrassed by it. I know I look perfect!" She spoke narcissistically in an endearing tone. The voice she spoke with itself was like an angel's.

"It's nothing. What was Dorothy like back then?"

"Dorothy this, Dorothy that. You aren't taking me seriously at all!" She pouted in a cute way.

"Sorry..."

"It's fine~ You can always me anything. I'm always there for you, but my only question is: Shouldn't your priority be towards your mother?" She didn't take control of the conversation but instead made him remember the reason he had come here.

"You're right. My mind was trapped in thought."

"About what?"

"I was doubtful on your kindness. It makes no sense why you only told me about your father's background today of all days." I pointed out something obvious to change the subject.

"Bob, you have to trust me. I never wanted you to get involved with 'this side'. If it weren't for Sis designating a 'Abyss Mark' to your mother, you wouldn't have ever known about our past." She seemed on the verge of tears as she spoke.

"Alright, just tell me everything." I patted her head as I didn't want my saviour to be so agitated.

However, someone else seemed angered at this moment as a voice rang out in my head:

'You are being too close.'

Are you supposed to be my girlfriend?

'I am closer than a friend, right? Who else would you let inside of you~?' She said suggestively.

OH, HELL NO! I'd rather you joke about something else. Just change the bloody subject already.

'Why do you reject me so~?'

Don't joke like that! I already still have nightmares about a similar event. Change the topic right now!

'Activating Bending Rivers Saves The Nation... The subject has been changed to: What is a Mark?'

I'll figure that out right away without straying off subject, please don't ever do that again...!

'Affirmative!' And after those words, I heard a lot about this criminal organisation in more depth.