NatsumeRikka
I liked the phrase part 👍 Honestly i read your story out of curiosity to find out the similarity in your story and mine, after your comment in the review of my story. I am happy that the only similarity i found is that our main leads are depressed over their loved ones demise. But mine definitely didn't kill her lover with a knife 😝😝😝😝😝😝😝 Now coming to your story...... it's really good. Yeah yeah it's sad but i liked how you showed the struggle of a girl who is different from others. It's very much related to reality. People bullying such people is seen. I don't know how they have the hurt to bully and hurt other😕😕 It's sad, very sad. I liked your description and your idea of using phrases.❤❤❤
I need air. I need to breathe.... It's so heavy. The mood is very dark and the way MC speaks or even her monologue shouts the word 'MISFORTUNE' all over her. This made me think something.... Who was it that makes us, us? Is it the society or the environment we lives in that shapes us? Or is it ourselves that contributed of who we are? Is the society bad because they judge us? Or is it ourselves because we made that choice? Hoooo...I need to read BL right now to cleanse my mind.. 👨❤️💋👨
I like how the author started off with thought-provoking phrase about how even the silence has something to say. I like the author instantly captured the reader's attention with the image of blood. I like how the author has set a background for the story within the first few sentences. I also like that there is already a problem present - sometimes when I read stories that slowly build up to a problem, it doesn't engage me as much. I understand what the author meant when they wrote: 'As if my mind had already given up the task of listening to me', but it was a bit confusing and hard to understand because if the character's mind had already given up listening to them, then where is the 'me'? - is that the character's heart? I like how the author used a valued possession (her hair) of the protagonist to show how much pain they were suffering when they lost it. I also like the way the author used the protagonist's situation (of being a mute) to show that she wanted to speak, but couldn't speak. The writing is really good and the story is really moving. Good job😊
The plot is good. Writing quality is more than satisfying. The story is dark and depressing but I liked it. Still, there are some things which aren't clear. You could have revealed Yui's secret of killing Roku. Also, some things should have been revealed...... This was close to becoming a novel which I would remember for a long time. But no worries....... All the best for your future novels.
The storyline is quite strong. The author has done a great job! I loved how the author started the entry with a quote, which I think are self made quotes. This is an eye opener about depression... It was bitter sweet in the beginning. Then the revelations were quite a shock. The last two chapters were scary enough to give you goosebumps. I personally loved this novel! ❤ A must read. But still there's a cliff hanger. Why did Yui kill Roku?