24. Chapter 24: Hermione

Yay! Long weekend this week! We get a 4-day weekend. -Grins madly- Gee, holidays are so rare here that I'm excited about an extended weekend... -.- Just shows how evil my teachers are.

Urgh... still another 5 weeks of school before winter break... which is only TWO FRIGGIN' WEEKS! During then I will also probably have to do my science fair project... -Sighs- I hate school. )'.'( (Random face of the day.)

& I bring to you... after days of writing...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 24

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HERMIONE

Well, what can I say. I suppose, in Ron's words - Bloody brilliant! OK, why exactly am I quoting Ron? Oh yeah. That session in the broom cupboard.

It was... how do I put it. Enjoyable.

Alright, very enjoyable.

You probably already know what happened. In any case, I'm not going to repeat it. If I do I might just explode with the memory right here in the Greenhouse and set Hogwarts on fire. And that's something I don't want on my permanent records at school.

But there's one thing I can explain, and that's the Howler. Let me recount...

FLASHBACK

"OK, Hermione. What did you just say?"

I sighed and crossed my arms. "I said, to let Malfoy know the severity of what he's done, I'm going to send him a Howler."

Harry nodded. "That's great, but what was that bit about Dobby? Or was I just hearing things?"

I beamed innocently at him. "Oh no, your hearing is fine. I did say something about Dobby." Pausing for dramatic effect, I continued, "I'm going to let him yell at the Howler, which means the letter will contain Dobby's shouting, not yours or mine. This is to avoid humiliation, you see." It was apparent that Harry did not see, because his face was rapidly turning red. "Well, you probably won't approve, but it's better than recording your voice."

This had the desired effect on Harry, and he calmed. "True, true," he muttered. "So we're actually going to make Dobby record a Howler." He shook his head. "Unbelievable. The things you do to annoy and embarass Malfoy..."

"I'm not just trying to annoy or embarass Malfoy," I said, irritated. "I'm just letting him know how much he hurt your feelings. I even wrote a script for Dobby to read off, so it's not like I'm going to make him say random things on the spot."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, 'Mione." Harry glanced around. "Shouldn't we take Ron along?"

I shrugged. "If you want to bother to find him. I think he's probably interrogating Ginny right now about Blaise or something. He won't be back until he's completely satisfied that she barely even knows him. You know that could take a while." I brushed a strand of hair away from my face, shuffled my script for Dobby (only about 3 pages long - I'd had a good idea of what I'd wanted him to say before I had written it down, so little editing had been required) and straightened. "Well. Shall we go?"

Moments later we arrived at the painting of the bowl of fruit. I tickled the pear and pushed open the door that appeared. Harry followed quickly before the door disappeared and he became cemented in the wall. "You're getting pretty good at this tickling thing," he remarked. "You know exactly where to tickle it." He narrowed his eyes. "Exactly how many times have you been down here, promoting 'elf freedom'?"

I flush. "Er, not that many times. Ahaha... maybe, 3 or 4 times?"

"Right," he muttered. "And I'm a transvestite who has a fetish about stockings."

"Harry, I never knew," I said, raising an eyebrow. I caught the sarcasm in his voice but refused to admit how many times I'd really been in here. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

He muttered something incoherent and waved a hand. "Come on. Let's find Dobby."

We found the house elf preparing roast chicken for lunch with a few other elves. When they saw us, they all jumped to their feet and bowed low, so that their noses touched the ground. "Mr Potter and Miss Granger! We are delighted and honored to have you here with us!" The furthest elves dashed away and came back with trays of cookies and sweetmeats. "Please, have them! It's our gift to you!"

I grimaced to myself, making sure the elves didn't see. I hated to take advantage of the elves - they worked so hard to make those, and now they were giving them to us just because we were here? But I knew better than to offend the house elves by refusing the food, so I accepted it. "Thank you very much," I said warmly. The elves danced around happily.

After eating the cookies and sweetmeats, Harry whispered something to an elf near him. It nodded its head enthusiastically and ran off. Soon, Dobby arrived. "Ah! Mr Potter and Miss Granger! Good afternoon!"

I motioned for Dobby to come. "Dobby, can you do this for me...?" I mumbled in his ear what I wanted, and he agreed. "Be right back," I said to the others, and gave Harry a look that said, 'distract them while I'm gone recording the Howler!'. Then, I opened the door to the corridors outside, gave Dobby the script and started recording.

END FLASHBACK

So basically, that's what happened.

Note that just because the broom closet kissing was great, this does not stop me from performing my next plan:

--- Plan 7: Poison Malfoy by dripping Mandrake potion into his goblet. Make sure to measure the amount put in, otherwise he may have a spasm straight away and fall into a coma

When: At anytime when juice is served

Why: For being a general git

How: Take the small vial of Mandrake juice from the previous session of biology that I gathered and tip a tiny amount into Malfoy's cup when he isn't there. Make sure he doesn't see me.

I sigh in boredom as I carefully peel open a humming pea pod and empty the contents into a small bucket. Mine is nearly full. The aforementioned vial of Mandrake juice is sitting snugly inside my inside robe pocket. Ron, who is beside me, seems to have problems with the peas jumping out of their pods excitedly and missing the bucket. Several shoots are growing at his feet, and he is starting to panic. Of course, being Ron, the first thing he does to try and get rid of the shoots is stepping on them. An awfully pathetic little squeak sounds as he mashes the plants into the ground.

"Ron!" I protest as I hear several squeaks. "Don't do that! They're very rare plants, so you can't just go around stepping on them."

"Who - bloody - cares!" Ron answers through gritted teeth. "They're so annoying!"

"Well, if you start putting the peas into the bucket instead of dropping them, they might stop sprouting!" I yell at him. He glares back at me but shuts up as Professor Sprout walks towards us, her eyes wide. She gives Ron a lecture about doing what he is told and not talking so much that he keeps missing the bucket. He nods, trying for the doe-eyed innocent look but failing miserably. All he looks like is halfway between constipation and a forced smile.

"Don't say it," Ron hisses at me after she leaves. "Do. Not. Say. It."

I am the picture of innocence. Well... I'd like to think that I'm more convincing than Ron, at least. "Say what? 'I told you so'?"

He blocks his ears and starts humming loudly. "Lalala! I can't hear you! LalalalalaLA!"

I turn to Harry, perplexed. "What's up with Ron?"

Harry grins. "I think he's not taking the fact that Ginny and I are officially together too well." He shrugs. "Ah well. Ginny told him last night. So he's had all night to fume over it. Wonder what's wrong with him?"

"You know how, er, sensitive Ron is about Ginny's boyfriends," I say, giggling. "And maybe you shouldn't have let Ginny tell him - she's rather blunt about things like that."

"True," Harry says. "Too late now, don't you think?"

After Herbology, we have a free period. This is unusual, but I decide to make the most of it and decide to head down to the lake while Ron and Harry play one of their favorite games (one that I don't find all that fun), Exploding Snap. I think about bringing my Astronomy chart to complete, but decide to have a bit of a break.

Moments later, I arrive at the lake bank and look around for a good, sunny spot to sit. Winter is approaching, and I can feel it in the air - the wind is getting more bitter every day. I shiver slightly and am glad I had the sense to bring along my coat. Finally my eyes settle on a miniature, grassy plateau with a single large oak on it that is about 20 metres away and start walking.

When I get closer I spot a dark shape sitting against the tree. I wonder how I could have missed it - obviously trees do not grow a odd bulge at its roots. I shake my head and proceed to walk past them.

About 2 metres away, I finally recognize the shape. "D-Draco?" I ask incredulously. The person turns their head and my suspicions are confirmed - it is indeed Malfoy sitting there.

Reading a book.

Reading a book.

Is it just me, or is Draco Malfoy reading a book?

I shake my head, wondering if I am hallucinating. But no; in Draco's hands is a copy of Hogwarts, a History. "What?" he replies irritably, looking a tad surprised. "Come to kick me in the groin? Or slug me with a broomstick?"

I roll my eyes. "I'd do no such thing," I say piously. He snorts. "Well, to tell the truth, I'm just here to gaze at the lake. You know, relax."

"Wow," Draco says sarcastically. "Hermione Granger knows the meaning of the word 'relax'." To my amazement, he shifts over a little. "Here, you can relax next to me." He smirks and pats the ground next to him.

Speechless, I walk over slowly and sit down. His body warmth radiates against my arm, making me feel extremely jumpy. "Um... thanks?" I peer at his book and notice that the text is unfamiliar. "Hey... that's not Hogwarts, a History!" I pull the book towards me and take off the dust jacket. "Aha! 1001 Feats Crazy Wizards Have Performed in History! What the hell is that!"

Draco snatches it back, glaring at me. "OK, smarty-pants, you saw through my disguise. I was just bored. I thought it would be an interesting book to read. Better than whatever book you were blabbering about," he says.

"I was not blabbering!" I say hotly. "I was just talking normally. Anyway, do you know how gory that book is? I'm flipped through it once and nearly threw up." I shudder. "There's one who apparently threw himself into a meat mincer... yuck!"

"So you've read it before?" he asks, smirking. "Then why are you telling me not to read it?"

I stood up. "I didn't," I hiss. Then I sigh. "You're pissing me off. Like always. Now I feel like strangling something... so much for a relaxing break," I say regretfully, casting a dirty look at Draco. "You can read that by yourself." Turning my nose up into the air, I start to walk off - and find my wrist being pulling back. "What, you want to be strangled? I'll be happy to comply, if you just stay still for a while."

Draco laughs. "You can't strangle me. The female population of Hogwarts would weep and most likely murder you." He gives me a wicked smile. I feel my heart skip a beat and suddenly become very aware of him holding onto my wrist.

"Er, Draco?" I say, staring pointedly at his hand. "If you don't mind, please let go of me." Suddenly I am pulled forward sharply and land on his lap. "Urgh... that hurt!" I complain, banging at his shoulder.

"Good," he answers. I look up to see him close up, in all his sexy Slytherin God glory. Not that this is an unfamiliar view... but it's a first time I've actually had a chance to look at him, instead of just been pulled right onto his lips to snog. "Actually, let me rephrase that. I'm sorry, poor dear." He gives me a mocking air kiss on my cheek.

I am stunned, again, into silence. Malfoy, apologizing? OK, well, it was half-sarcastic, but I detected truth in his words too. Nope, it wasn't just another pretend 'sorry'. That's twice he's surprised me today. What's next, him admitting that he now swings the other way and am a proud wearer of spandex, because it makes him feel 'sexy'?

Not that he's not sexy enough as it is... but that's not the point.

"Anyway, I didn't pull you back for nothing," he continues, a gleam in his eye. "I pulled you back to give my favorite fan a snog or two." With that, he puts his arm around my neck and pulls me down to kiss me. My heart leaps to my throat. So now I'm not a filthy Mudblood anymore. What a change.

Not an unwelcome one, I have to admit. But still, Draco is the short-term girlfriend type. I really don't want to be just another girl that he's played with and has now tired of. My pride won't let me be one of those.

But might as well enjoy the opportunity, right?

Slowly I kiss him back. When we break apart, I struggle to stand up and wag a finger in his face. "A correction there, young man," I say, trying not to smile. "I'm not your fan."

"Don't burst my bubble," he replies. "You deflate my ego enough everyday as it is." He looks at me, serious. "Strangely, I like that."

I blush. "You're weird. Really weird."

He smirks. "I know you love that about me." Draco puts his hands behind his head and closes his eyes. Thinking he is asleep, I don't answer, but he makes me jump by adding something else. "Admit it, Her- Granger."

I roll my eyes to myself. "Just call me Hermione, OK? I'm tired of you correcting yourself halfway through saying my name. My name is not 'HerGranger', 'Mudblood' or 'insufferable know-it-all'. It's just Hermione. So don't call me anything else - unless you still hate me." I pause for effect, and to give him time to think. "Also... your weirdness fascinates me, but I can't say I love it."

"You wrench my heart so cruelly, Hermione," he sneers. "OK, Hermione it is. Do you want me to call you this, Hermione?"

"Not like that!" I yell at him. He starts laughing and opens his blue eyes. I kick him in the thigh and he shuts up a little, but still lets out the odd snigger. "Hermione. Not Hermione. Don't drag my name out. Just say it normally!"

"Hermiiiione," he answers. At this point I am so pissed off that I beat the tree. This time, he shuts up properly, eyes wide in surprise. "Wow. Another side of Hermione. The violent side. Though I must say, I've been exposed to this violent side too many times for my own good." He shudders visibly. "Far too many."

At that moment I remember the Mandrake potion plan. I almost feel like giving up on the plans, but really, I can't stop now. I'm already on my 7th plan. Only another three more to go, right? It's a bit late to regret my past efforts at ridding Hogwarts of Malfoy. I grit my teeth and decide to perform the plan tonight.

I am not concerned about Malfoy.

I am so not concerned about Malfoy. I mean, who cares about what happens to the selfish git if he falls into a coma? It's not like anyone would care. Well, maybe apart from Crabbe and Goyle, and his mother, but yeah. That's probably about it. And at this stage, most of the girls in Hogwarts would care, but they only want his body. So that's not really a problem.

Right. That's it. My feelings about Draco are sorted.

Wait... what feelings?

I am just about to scold myself mentally when I hear a rustle in the bushes near the corner of the castle, the one closest to where the two of us are right now. I spin around sharply and catch a glimpse of someone with short, red hair dashing away around the corner. "Oh my God- dammit!" I mutter in frustration. If that was who I thought it was... and he saw me standing here next to Malfoy, not beating him up or assuming a fighting posture at all...

"Who was that?" Draco asks suspiciously when I start to walk away.

I pause and look back. "Trust me. It wasn't someone I wanted to see." Sighing, I give him a slight smile and start running back to the castle.

If that was Ron, then I'm officially busted.

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Ha! Hermione's been seen... muahahaha. Well, you guys all did know that the Howler person was her, right? It was pretty obvious (I suck at writing mysteries. U.U).

Review review review. :D