Angel's Monologue and Tears

　He invites Mahiru to his house and makes him sit on the sofa.

　Mahiru had a weak smile on her face, as if it would melt away if the wind blew it, and Shuu sat down while holding Mahiru's hand, moving his grip from her wrist to her palm as if to wrap her around him.

　When I squeezed it as if wrapping it around me, the ends of my eyebrows lowered.

"...It's a boring story, but would you listen to it?"

　It was about ten minutes after I arrived at Shu's room that I started talking about it from midday.

"My parents didn't get married because they loved each other. I won't go into details, but they just got married because of family circumstances and alignment of interests."

　Mahiru talks quietly, but this is probably a reason for marriage that is not often seen in modern Japan.

　Normally people would get married because they love each other, and it's possible that people would get married because they have the same interests, but I thought it was a story from a little while ago.

　She's probably upper class, so naturally her parents are upper class. It's probably for that reason, but... still, it was hard to believe for Zhou.

"So...actually, it seems like they weren't planning on having a child. However, it happened one night. Since I gave birth to a child, I had no choice but to support them financially. I guess they never intended to raise me. hey"

"You didn't mean to raise me,"

"...Those people rarely come back. Even when they do, they just use it as a lodging facility."

　Mahiru says, "I haven't really seen my parents' faces since I was little," and she looks haggard.

``I don't remember doing anything typical of parents.The parents who raised me were actually housekeepers.Both of them had mistresses outside and took care of her.They just gave me money and left me alone.'' .They don't need me. No matter how hard I try or how good I am, they don't care about me."

　So, what happened to Mahiru?good boyangelI finally truly understood why he was acting like this.

　Mahiru wanted her parents to take a closer look at her.

　If I was a good girl, maybe people would pay attention to me, maybe I'd get compliments - I kept acting with such vague expectations, and now I've lost the time to stop.

　The reason why he still doesn't stop is because he's really taking a chance, or is he forced to wear a mask because he doesn't want anyone to touch his inner self?

　I didn't know which one it was, but at least it wasn't like I was wearing it because I wanted to.

``In the end, they don't look at me. Even though I grew up beautifully, studied well, exercised, and did housework, those people never looked at me.'' I'm sure I'm an idiot for trying hard even though it's useless."

　Even though I won't be rewarded.

　His chest tightened with a lament filled with resignation.

"Because I'm here, they can't get a divorce. Neither of them want to take over. I'm going to have to take care of my mistress's family. I can't expect my grandparents. That's why I'm waiting until I graduate from university." .As long as you stand alone, the rest doesn't really matter.''

"it is..."

"...When I was told to my face that I was an unwanted child...I was really shocked. I was so desperate that I couldn't help but go on a swing in the rain."

　With those words, I understood why I was in the park in the rain at midday at that time, after several months.

　That was where my parents had pointed out heartless words to me, and I had wandered around feeling hurt.

　I guess it was precisely because I realized that I had no place to belong that I had such a childish and uneasy expression, like a lost child.

　I couldn't ask anyone for help, I couldn't swallow the words that were thrown at me, I just didn't know what to do, so I ended up standing there alone.

　Just thinking about it, a slight iron taste spread in my mouth.

　It seemed that he had bitten his lip unconsciously, and there was a slight pain and a unique flavor in his mouth. She must have been unknowingly building up in anger because it was so unreasonable.

"... If you were in trouble, you shouldn't have given birth."

　Just listening to such a small whisper caused a pain that felt like a stake had been driven into my chest, making me stop all movement.

　Up to this point, I've been so angry with Midday's real parents that I'm making my head turn white.

　I grew up so delicate and fragile because I didn't receive any love from my parents. On the surface she behaved strongly and kept crying inside her so that she could not ask anyone for help in the middle of the day.

　Once the good girl's mask is peeled off, a fleeting figure will appear that even the slightest breeze will crumble and disappear.

(How is it possible to corner you so far?)

　I wanted to raise my voice and ask, but the people who abandoned midday are not here.

　Besides, I don't know what to do.

　Although he is angry about the terrible family environment, Zhou is a stranger to Mahiru.

　I don't think it's okay for other people to interfere in midday's family affairs. There is also the possibility of making the situation even worse. Considering the possibility that Mahiru would be hurt even more by meddling so recklessly, there was nothing Shuu could do.

　However, if you leave it as it is, it seems that it will disappear like it melts into the air - Zhou puts the blanket that was on the side from his head in the middle of the day.

　I hid my face from the shadows, and then took a confused Mahiru into my arms.

　The body I hugged myself for the first time was very delicate and unreliable. If you apply even a little force, it will break easily.

　Zhou wraps around midday, tightly embracing the body that has endured without leaning on anyone.

"Eh, ah, Amane-kun…?"

"...I think I understand why you grew up with this kind of personality."

"Isn't it cute?"

"Come on.... I'm patient, and I don't want to show my weakness to others."

　I had no choice but to endure it. Because if you let out a weak sound once, it will surely break.

　The maid seemed to take good care of Mahiru, but she was still a hired hand and not someone who could help Mahiru.

　She endured alone in a situation where she couldn't ask for help, so she must have gotten so good at deceiving herself.

"... I have no intention of interfering in your household. I can't poke my nose into someone else's household."

　Zhou is a stranger. I can't touch the delicate thing called family.

　However, it is not the same as not supporting midday.

"...I'll pretend I didn't see you. If you're going to cry, just cry. Even if you put up with that horrible face, you'll just be suffocating."

　I really don't want to cry.

　However, if she continues to accumulate it like this, she will break down someday.

　That's why I wanted you to cry. I wanted you to spit out everything you held back.

　If it's painful, I want you to say it's painful, if you're lonely, I want you to say you're lonely. Then Zhou will stay by her side and listen.

　Even though her situation is hopeless, Zhou is able to accept Mahiru's suffering.

　The thought of being presumptuous crossed her mind, but it all disappeared as Mahiru moved in Shu's arms and buried her face in Shu's chest.

"... will you be with me?"

"I don't know because I haven't seen it."

"...Then, please lend me a little..."

　She whispered in a trembling voice, but Zhou didn't reply, just pulled the blanket over her head once more and hugged her unreliable back tightly.

　Before long, a small sob begins to be heard.

　The crying wasn't loud, but it was definitely audible, and it came from midday.

　Midday, who always endured alone without lamenting, asked Zhou for the first time to "support", and Zhou hugged Midday's small back while almost crying a little.

"...You're watching, aren't you?"

　She didn't cry for long.

　I haven't counted the time, but it's probably enough.

　It would have been nice if she had spit out 16 years worth of suffering, but it's possible that her body forced her to stop because she would get tired from crying too much. If you get physical fatigue in addition to mental fatigue, your brain will probably be forced into sleep mode.

　The midday eyes that raised his face were wet, but the eyes that looked at Zhou were firm, as if he had regained his energy a little.

"It can't be helped because she was leaning against my chest. I tried not to see her cry."

　A small smile appeared when I pulled out the blanket that had slipped down before I knew it.

"...Amane-kun"

"what is it"

"...thank you"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

　Mahiru turned away, thinking that she was doing this because she liked him, so she didn't want him to thank her, but she buried her face in Shu's chest again.

"Please lend me just a little more."

"...Ou"

　There was no way I could push Mahiru away in this state. Besides, I wanted to support him.

　Pretending to be calm, I hugged her small body again and slowly stroked her head.

　If no one praises midday, Zhou should do it.

　As I gently stroked her with my palm, thinking that she had done a good job and that there was no need to push herself too hard in front of me, she looked up at Shuu with a relaxed expression, perhaps because Mahiru had calmed down.

　However, it doesn't mean that his expression has become brighter, perhaps because he still has various worries and thoughts.

"...I wonder what I should do from now on."

　Mahiru muttered a little and looked at Shuu's eyes and smiled with a troubled look on his face.

"No matter how hard I try, they won't look at me. It's the same with other people. Even if an angel is praised, it doesn't mean that they need me. Mahiru Shiina, who acts like an angel, is liked. But, being needed… the original me is not needed.

　I'm strangling myself, so I smile wryly and grab the cloth around my chest tightly.

"The real me is not cute, I am timid and selfish, I have a bad personality, I have a bad mouth… I don't have the elements to be liked."

"I quite like it."

　Involuntarily, my true feelings spilled out of my mouth.

　Staring at the midday that repeats blinking blinks, I continue.

"Well, of course there are times when you're not cute, but I think you're more cute than that and you want to protect me, and I like your clear words. "

　He flicks Mahiru's forehead lightly, telling him that he's looking too backwards, and Mahiru's expression loses its negative color, as if he's somewhat taken aback.

　Shuu couldn't understand why Mahiru was treating him so badly.

　No matter how you look at her, she's a hard-working and kind-hearted girl. Although there are places where his words and actions are somewhat transparent, his points are accurate and he only speaks with people in mind.

　I said it was cowardly, but it wasn't really a bad thing. He's probably just been on the defensive because he's been hurt too much and doesn't want to get hurt any further.

　Also, if it wasn't so cute, Shuu wouldn't have to end up writhing in midday all the time.

　Rather, I want you to realize that you are cuter when you are bare.

"Don't be so condescending, there are people here who like you even when they see your true nature."

　She probably lacks confidence in herself because she believes that she is not loved, but since there are people around Zhou, not just Zhou, who she likes, her assumptions are even worse.

　Chitose is sticky when she's cuter in the middle of the day. No matter how you look at it, it can't be superficial.

　I stared at Midday's caramel-colored eyes and told her, but Midday began to look away.

　On the contrary, even the cheeks were reddened by the faint red around the eyes.

　Immediately, the color changed to what could be called a rose-red color, and by the time Mahiru realized that this must have been caused by shame, he had shrunk and his eyes were still swimming.

　From the way it was in the middle of the day, I was reminded that I was making a rather racy statement, and even Zhou's face turned red.

``No, no, Chitose and the others think so too! It's not like I had any other intentions! It's not just me, my mother, Chitose, and Itsuki also like the fact that you're not an angel. You're much more than I thought you were... I think you're a nice guy."

　When I was in a hurry to explain my remarks, my gaze finally caught Zhou in the middle of the day.

　However, it seems that she made her feel quite embarrassed because she was trembling with a bright red face as if she misunderstood even for a moment. She was quite embarrassed by Zhou, but she may be even more ashamed of herself.

"Well, if you can't do your best anymore or if your parents really don't like it, you can evacuate to our house. Once your mother and others find out what's going on, they'll hide you. You know, it's okay if it's like a recuperation."

"...Yeah"

"Mothers like Mahiru, so I think they'll say it's okay for you to stay forever...In fact, I don't think they'll let you go until Mahiru is happy. We don't care what you do with your parents. I can't decide, but I'll support you as much as you want until you take the plunge."

"Yeah..."

　When I tried my best to explain so as not to be misunderstood, Mahiru burst into tears again.

"Why are you crying again?"

"I'm blessed..."

"Rather, you're too blessed, so you can say a little more selfishly."

　She may have been blessed financially, but she was deprived of everything else. She was impressed that she had grown up so unperturbed without receiving any of the love she deserved.

　In the middle of the day, it's okay to be pampered by someone. You can say it's selfish. I wish I could at least make up for the fact that no one listened to me.

"...Then, can I ask you a favor?"

"What?"

　When I add the premise that I can make it come true, Mahiru smiles slightly and whispers, ``It's something only Shuu-kun can do.''

"... please watch more"

"I'm watching you do your best, and I'm watching you because if I take my eyes off you, you'll probably fly off somewhere."

"... please catch me"

"I'll hold your hand."

　Is this all? When I looked into Mahiru's face, Mahiru stared at Shu for a while, then looked shy.

"For today, please catch me with all your might."

　Saying that, in the middle of the day, when I wrapped my arms around Zhou's back and buried my face in my chest, Zhou swallowed it for a moment, thinking that it would be useless to hold onto an immoral thought, and wrapped up her delicate body again.