webnovel

(Hiatus) Plot Armor Obtain!

Author: PopcornBro
Urban
Ongoing · 460K Views
  • 38 Chs
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  • NO.200+
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Synopsis

Cristian attending his third year of Computer Science course. Suddenly, a blue screen popped up, granting people access to the Akashi record and allowing everyone to obtain incredible powers that have once just exist in the legends. The world as he knows it has succumbed to chaos, as the governments have collapse ushering in the new age of Qi Cultivators, Psychics, Demi-Gods, Dragon Kings and many more abilities from the legends and stories. Follow Cristian as he paves the road to his legend, as he uses kinda op abilities to cause even more chaos, get babes and finally RULE THE WORLD.....as a part-time overlord Updates daily Images are not mine, so just tell me if your the owner of them, we may be able to make some sort of a deal ;)

Chapter 1Incoming: New Age

"Cristian! Broski!" yelled a brunette haired male with a quiff style cut, wearing the standard 'I don't care anymore outfit' composing of a plain grey sweater and a loose pair of jogging pants, "You coming to Jonny's party this Friday?" he looked at Cristian expectantly.

Cristian stared back at him lifelessly. Cristian was around 1.67 tall (but supposedly he was 1.70m tall), with dark brown, pretty much black hair and a matching colored Asian looking eyes. He gave off the air of lifelessness probably from pulling another all-nighter. The brunette guy waved at him, trying to catch his attention as he saw Cristian staring into the empty space.

"Luke, I already told you, I'm going to be there hehehe." He nodded at Luke with a tone of excitement finally present from his previous sedated mood. Luke gave him a thumbs up with a knowing grin, before leaving the area where Cristian was sitting. Cristian was currently attending college in good ole New Zealand. He was currently in his last year at the University, studying about debaucheeeerrr....cough..i meant..Computer Science. He was sitting under a tree, just outside of the library, reviewing the course assessments that he just completed last night.

With a test next week and a major project due tonight, Cristian was trying to finish as much work as possible but has already come to a conclusion, that he is pretty much fucked. Mostly, due to him enjoying the benefits of youth and treated college as his pleasure island. So as usual, he figured that doing his close to when the deadline due was due, is a good idea. Nevertheless for some reasons unknown, But possibly because of his Asian genes or that he is somehow blessed by some kind of bullshit god. Cristian somehow completes his projects in due time, albeit barely passing but hey 'Cs gets degrees' am I right? lel.

Cristian turned over a few pages in a folder, trying to focus on the words being laid out. Finding it impossible he shifted back looked out around the surrounding, gazing out into space again. He notices that the grass on the ground was a pleasant shade of vivid green, giving off a warm feeling of life and energy, while the azure sky blankets the earth as white ever changing clouds drifts across it. But yeah anyways fuck grass and the sky they're just there for the word count. Cristian was obviously gazing at the various women wandering around, some walking determinedly to their classes, while others were walking at a lackluster pace doing nothing. Some walked timidly and others walked proudly. One thing they all had in common, though, was that they were all had something that bounces. Seemingly not getting bored from this dreary behavior, Cristian continued to observe them again and again as they walked past him if one were to look closely they may realise that Cristian is procrastinating right now.

Cristian's mind then wandered as he began to consider his own life story and what direction he would be heading next year. Cristian had been born to two loving and caring middle-class parents. Raised as an only child he was the pride of his parents and was greatly encouraged and pushed towards excellence. Finally, the pressure of trying to meet his parent's expectations has bounded and restricted him too tightly to the point where he experienced a mental breakdown in a class one day. After this event, he ended up leaving to join the military for a year just after graduating high school. Successfully finding the pleasures of destruction and the adrenaline rush of fighting. But alas respecting his parents wish, he went to college to get a degree and hopefully get a stable and respectable job.But somewhere deep in his heart Cristian craves and yearns for something more.

Snapping back into reality, he again watches the other students, working so hard, and wondered 'what was the point of it all? what was his own purpose?' Hoping to somehow experience those so-called 'adventures' he read in light novels.

Suddenly, a flash of blue light blinded him for a moment and a cute loli like voice started talking. The voice seems to be talking to him; directly into his mind if that makes any sense.

Cristian was shocked but also filled with exaltation. As an avid web novel reader and anime specialist, he had some idea on what might hopefully happen next.

Regaining his focus, he put his full attention on what the voice was saying.

["Welcome to the Akashi System, everyone! Congratulations people of earth, you were chosen by the God of All, Uvuvwevwevwe Onyetenyevwe Ugwemuhwem Osas or Jzeus for short, to wield the Akashi System. I shall be your ai assistant Kami-chan, nice to meet you desu! You are one of the many hosts chosen to have access to the Akashi System to combat the awakening of the negative beings, which shall be spawning after this message. Good luck desu!"] The then voice faded away.

Suddenly, beast roars and screaming could be heard all around the area, as a panel of a glowing blue see-through screen appeared in front of Cristian. Displaying a text saying:

[Ding- Akashi System downloading...]

[1%... 2%... 3%...]

After about 2 minutes has passed.

[99%.... 100%]

[Ding- Download complete!]

'Well...shit.....why did I wish for this adventure' whispered Cristian.

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ArdentAngel
ArdentAngelLv13

Well, where to start. The story holds potential, but there are far too many ideas being crammed inside. Grammar for Chapter 1 was pretty readable - sentences weren't too long and even punctuations weren't too much off. But that made a nosedive soon after… Sentences became too long with no end in sight, spanning over far too many lines. Paragraphs became too long, probably due to sentences being too long themselves in the first place. Luckily this ended with chapter 20, where situation stabilized again. More on grammar on the comment below this review. At the beginning, he has a luck of 4, yet all the items he receives from the lottery are OP. You should at least make him obtain the Plot Armor first, which would warrant such a thing (because happening once might be just a lucky break, but happening 4-5 times out of 5 times is too unrealistic for such a low luck). But it would work once his Plot Armor is equipped, which raises his luck to 800. Em & Annie. Their current personalities are OK for now, but their backstory is rushed and forced, coupled with broken grammar and confusingly written sentences only makes it worse. Annie is, in her backstory, described as a b1tch, yet then she is a shy and innocent little kitten. You should have elaborated on the changes, or should I say, her thoughts about the shock should have been exposed so we can better familiarize with them. Based on that b1tchy personality, after her change, she could have eliminated her sadistic tendencies, but she should still be more sultry/s3xy and/or s3duct1ve. It would be more compatible this way. Or as I said, her thoughts about the shock should have been elaborated. You also made Annie far too stupid during that whole scene, which is against her character. This is also the reason I said it was too forced. Em? Well, similar problems. You literary made her an airhead in the backstory, yet she hadn't even received a shock which might have cured her, the way Annie did. Hence this makes her character inconsistent, considering how level headed she is now. MC. He is described as an otaku, forever alone, and many more similar descriptions of how he is a loner. Then, from the girls' backstory, we learn he already kissed them both. Not to mention his valiant hero-saves-the-day from them both which are also something wholly incompatible with his character which you were trying to portray at the beginning. Also, you hinted on his ambiguous relationship with Annie more than once, but his relationship with Em literary came out of nowhere. Especially considering we had a first person POV from him during their first encounter in this story - when they get to the dorms to meet them after blue screens appeared. Which is another disappointment made due to lack of proper planning. All the people in the city received far too much of OP abilities at the get go, considering they are all still level 0. They could fly around the city, yet their mana is still miniscule due to being level 0. You had min-max levels for each ability at the beginning, yet somewhere along the progression they all disappear with no word about them. Well, I can't really rate stability as of yet (because QI doesn't show dates of release for each chapter individually), so you get 4 stars for that... Well, that's it from me for now. Another post about grammar incoming shortly after...

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