Chapter 62: The so-called “heart demon” [2] (Not edited)

Fear.

A simple word composed of four letters and that is commonly used in several texts in different languages.

When someone says they fear something, they either are exaggerating it by suggesting they are "scared" of this something's potential or they are actually fearing something.

Fear is a simple but complex thing because of the fact that it goes from a simple fear or phobia of something as little and small as hair, to a fear able to destroy a person's life.

When Hong Li-Wei was young, she was but a simple child, like any other.

However, her smartness and persistence allowed her to be able to crawl out of the hellhole that was the slums of Hong Kong.

With her and her friends being able to make it out of there, they eventually tried their luck into integrating themselves into society.

After all, they just went from being people without any "proof" of existence in this world aside from them themselves to being formally recognized as official citizens.

And this was when Hong Li-Wei and her friends faced the cold hard truth they were so used to.

Being born in the slums is one of the worst things to happen to someone in this world. However, even if someone escaped from there, they would have nowhere to go, as being born in the slums puts a stigma on one's back.

Mockery.

Spite.

Hypocrisy.

Disdain.

Every possible negative emotion was shown and thrown into this small group of children who just managed to get out of the slums.

Although she already knew people's nature and somewhat expected this, Hong Li-Wei was still barely a teenager, so despite all her intelligence, she was still saddened by how unfair was their situation.

Even if fairness is but a utopic concept, she still expected people to at least be neutral toward them.

However, reality is often disappointing.

'How pathetic.' Hong Li-Wei thought while opening her eyes after remembering this memory and how her younger self felt about those so-called "real" people, ones with civil rights and all, different from the ones from the slums.

'Such expectations can't take place in this world.' She thought while internally shaking her head.

After the memory of that day crossed her mind, she couldn't concentrate on training anymore.

Every time she closed her eyes, images from that day flashed before her.

The mission.

The trap.

Their hopeless selves.

Noticing that she wasn't going anywhere and feeling more and more suffocated by this memory which she has ignored until now and tried her best to forget, Hong Li-Wei knew that the time had come.

She ran away from confronting this fear and now it has come back.

Even if you try to ignore a demon, the demon wouldn't ignore you.

She needed to face it as this time, she wouldn't be able to run away. She was alone in this room and would still be so for at least 6 more hours.

That is enough time for her to break if she doesn't do something.

'To have peace, one needs to be the eye of the storm. Being in the center of the troubles, yet calm and firm. Secure about what they do and how to deal with the storm around them. And this is why people don't have peace. They fail to understand that a storm needs to form in order for its eye to exist. Peace, doesn't mean the inexistence of troubles, it means that you have peace, even when shit hits the fan.' Remembering those words Hai said to her in the past, Hong Li-Wei knew that she wasn't the eye of the storm and ran as far as she could, but in the end, she got caught in the storm all the same.

'I need to be the eye of the storm, huh…' Closing her eyes, Hong Li-Wei released a sigh and put her head on the pillow on the bed.

Absentmindedly gazing at the starry ceiling, she thought why she was even remembering those things.

She knows that this doesn't have much to do with the magical training, but now she can't get the thought that this is going to be beneficial for her training.

However, the most annoying fact to her is that she is remembering the worst moments of her life and not just that day, and she isn't even doing this consciously.

Those memories simply come to her mind and then she will see them before eventually snapping out of her daze.

Scratching her head and with her bunny ears twitching in annoyance, Hong Li-Wei sat up and crossed her legs before closing her eyes.

'Might as well see this to the end.' With this thought, she tried to train again and as expected, another memory came to her mind.

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*PANT*

*PANT*

"F*ck."

Turning around, a bloodied Hong Li-Wei saw Mermaid kneeling on the ground while leaning on the wall of the alley they are in.

"Shit." Muttering a curse, she quickly made her way to Mermaid and kneeled near her.

"Mermaid, you okay?" She asked her friend while examining her body and noticed that she had some light blue marks on some parts of her skin.

"F*ck, they are using abyss poison. Mermaid, try to calm down and hold on, I will take you somewhere you can rest." Hong Li-Wei grabbed her friend's arm and put it over her neck before supporting Mermaid to walk away from the alley.

Right now, it had already been a few days since they discovered their mission was a trap but the Kallisto corporation got to know about what happened and ever since, it had been a constant manhunting.

Just in the first 3 days, Hong Li-Wei and her team had to switch bases 6 times, but Kallisto was hellbent on hunting them down so changing bases did little to slow them.

And it was during those days that Hong Li-Wei found out that their situation was direr than they thought.

Kallisto pulled some strings and got a bounty on her and her whole team's heads.

And if this wasn't enough, they even found out that their job as mercenaries had been compromised as they could barely have a commission before it was suddenly pulled off.

Running through alleys and avoiding using the main streets, Hong Li-Wei managed to reach one of her small bases for emergencies.

"Okay, just hang in there, Mermaid." She spoke while opening the door.

A quick check in the security through her phone did the trick to know that this base hasn't been discovered yet.

"Okay, easy there." She put her friend on a couch and made sure that she wasn't in an uncomfortable position before turning away and running to where she left the meds.

*CREAK*

Opening a drawer with some signs of aging, she started to search through the meds in the drawer while letting her phone rest on where she could see while it kept constantly monitoring the surroundings and inside the base.

"Where is it… where is- Here." Pulling out a small box, she checked it before picking her phone and running back to the main room where Mermaid was while thinking about new routes and ways to get out of Hong Kong.

Ever since getting entangled with Kallisto, she and her team were swiftly and completely cut off from any way to exit the city.

They were trapped inside it and this city became a cage where they are in with a dangerous beast.

The most worrying fact was that not everyone in her team was together, as they had to escape, they sometimes had to take separate ways to not be caught.

And this resulted in them not only being away but also almost impossible to contact since even for Hong Li-Wei, a diver, contacting the others without being caught was becoming harder and harder with each passing day.

'I just hope that the others are ok-'

*SIGH*

"I can't." Hong Li-Wei opened her eyes and threw herself in the bed again.

Although those are only memories and she already knows the outcome, she is feeling more and more suffocated while remembering those.

'Ah… damn it.' She closed her eyes while hugging her pillow and facing up.

She knows that even though she is smarter than others, this doesn't mean that she can solve any given problem easily.

She knows her way with technology and diving in the Nexus Net.

However, that is mostly it.

She knows that when it comes to her personality and character, she isn't that impressive.

She isn't as strong-willed and loyal as Elena is.

She isn't strong or has an amazing backer like Stella has.

She isn't as talented as Kryn.

She doesn't have anything too noteworthy when technology is taken away from her.

"…" Silently looking at the moving stars on the ceiling, she thought why she never tried to fight against her situation.

Why she accepted it as something inevitable even though she could have fought against it?

Hong Li-Wei knew since young that the world doesn't go the way one wants, but the way it wants.

And after meeting with Hai, she understood that those words are something literal.

'I became blind, didn't I?' With a small, weak smile she thought back to how she dealt with that situation.

All of that obviously scarred her and her two teammates, but what made it all the worst was the fact that she complicated herself.

By turning away from the problem and leaving it be for fear of getting hurt even more, Hong Li-Wei pretended to be blind and ignored the problem all those years.

Even while her friends were still scarred but facing it, she found solace in not facing it or even remembering those memories.

She built a false stability for herself above the illusion of "everything is good now" that she created for herself.

No matter how her friends tried to wake her up from this false dream she gave herself, she didn't try to see the truth and face it.

'How ironic.' Hong Li-Wei couldn't help but remark when she remembered the first time she changed a bit.

It was right after meeting Hai.

Although wounded and tired, one thing she noticed the first time she put her eyes on him was that he wasn't normal.

And this proved to be true in one of their conversations.

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*BAM*

Throwing a chair on the wall, Hong Li-Wei angrily looked at the boy seated before her.

With long white hair, his deep neon blue eyes shining while calmly looking at her and his small smile, a 14 years old Hai faced an angry Hong Li-Wei.

"What do you mean by "he vanished"!?!" She yelled while her eyes were becoming bloodshot.

Looking at her in the eyes, he waited for a few seconds before opening his mouth.

"Hong Li-Wei, I meant what I said. Even with my contacts, the guy vanished. I could find him given a few years, but for now, it is impossible." Hai stated while pouring some sugar on his tea.

*BAM*

Slamming her hand on the table in frustration, Hong Li-Wei took in a deep breath and looked elsewhere.

She just got to know that the guy whom Hai was chasing managed to get away from them.

"Stop making such a fuss. He just got away." Hai commented offhandedly.

"What?" Dumbly turning to him, she stared at his face for a few seconds before realizing that he wasn't much bothered with this loss.

"Are you kidding me? The guy just got away! The same guy whom-"

"Hong Li-Wei, what is that you are so disturbed about?" Hai questioned while blowing a bit his tea.

"What? Obviously about the guy getting away. What else?" She answered while still dumbfounded at his calmness.

"Will worry help in anything?" He rhetorically asked back.

"…"

Receiving no answer, Hai heaved a small sigh before taking a sip of his tea.

"Hong Li-Wei, I like you and your team very much. You all are capable and have some morals, something hard to find nowadays. However, you in specific have a serious flaw that might get you killed someday." Turning to look at her silent self, Hai looked back into his teacup. "You ignore your despair and try to forget it by solving other problems. You just look at how you can solve the problem before you but not the one inside you. You have no peace and this internal war of yours isn't going to end only with you suffering." He remarked while still looking at his tea.

Hong Li-Wei silently gazed at the boy before her that didn't behave like a child and turned around before walking toward the door.

"Peace is only an illusion." She said while the door opened.

"To have peace, one needs to be the eye of the storm. Being in the center of the troubles, yet calm and firm. Secure about what they do and how to deal with the storm around them. And this is why people don't have peace. They fail to understand that a storm needs to form in order for its eye to exist. Peace, doesn't mean the inexistence of troubles, it means that you have peace, even when shit hits the fan. You have no peace because you have a storm inside you." Hai commented while she was leaving.

Halting her steps, she turned around and looked at him.

"…" Not saying a word, she turned forward again and walked out.

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