17
I watch Jyeon from my seat at the board meeting. Sitting next to his chair at the head, he's up and walking around as he talks out what he has on the projector, yet I can't focus on what he's saying. I'm distraught inside. All day it's been eating away at me, ripping me into pieces, and I can't think of anything else no matter how I try.
I watch him closely for signs, changes, and anything to help clear this muddy mess out of my brain and find myself hating him for making me feel this way. Despising the very ground he walks on.
He came back around two, and I happened to be in the parking garage when he pulled in. I wish I hadn't been, but it was a coincidence as I was returning from an onsite inspection.
I saw them. Together. That bitch from Biochem in all her perfect feminine glory. Like some scene from a tacky romance drama.
She got out of his car and went to hers, parked discreetly in a dark corner of our own building, and then left. The fucking blatant audacity. I don't even know how to process that at all or the way they looked. I was far enough away that he didn't see me, but it was like watching a Jyeon I hadn't seen in a long time. Smiling, relaxed, walking companionably beside her as he escorted her to his car, shoulder to shoulder and touching. Warmth and friendliness in him that used to belong to me when we were children. He looked carefree and happy for once, and it felt like a knife being twisted in my soul.
All the signals were there. Her flirty giggly behavior and his attentive and charming self I never see aimed my way. I was paralyzed to my spot. I was stuck in my car seat like a mute and incapable person who couldn't budge an inch or make a sound. I couldn't look away, and I felt like every single part of me was aching and throbbing in agony. Shocked by the utter blatancy of it.
I held it in, shaking all over, and the urge to throw up almost suffocated me, but I didn't break. No matter how much it hurt and how much it ripped the rug right out from under my feet, I tried to be logical about it and tell myself it might look like something it's not that I was jumping to conclusions. I want so badly to convince myself it's not what I feel.
This isn't who Jyeon is. Even after everything. He's not the type to have an affair and betray me. Our marriage may be cold and empty, but it still symbolizes a union between our families and is the glue to keeping OLO afloat. OLO is everything to Jyeon, and he wouldn't hurt it. His mother would never accept that kind of behavior, and Jyeon isn't the kind of person to disgrace his family. To tarnish the Park name. He's always been obedient and respectful and does everything expected of him. It's why I can't get my head around it after seeing it with my own eyes.
"Vice President Park?" A voice flickers through, and I blink back to reality, realizing Yoonha sitting opposite me is strangely staring at me, and I clear my throat and sit upright. I am suddenly aware of the room full of suited men patiently poised for my response. I curse myself for dropping the ball.
"Sorry, can you repeat it?" I catch myself faultlessly and look around at the eyes all focused on me, finding Jyeon is the only one staring at his notes in his hand. He's not made eye contact with me at all since he came back.
"The Biotech funding, phase one, has been completed? Is that right?"
The name is like a bitter taste in my mouth, and I press my lips together and steady myself before pasting on a bright face. Clenching my fists under the table as it conjures up that woman in my mind's eye. At them, together, and the bile rises in my throat once more.
"Not yet, the funds are in process…." I state blankly and see many simple nods around the table. Jyeon seems immersed in his papers, satisfied that his plan is steaming ahead, and yet I can't let this go. The board signed off on this venture and has been eager to get things in motion to start seeing the benefits.
"but….." I add in deliberate afterthought, my heart rate elevating and palms become sweaty as eyes dart back my way, and even Yoonha frowns at me. It's not like me to be indecisive.
"Some things flagged up in the risk report amend that I missed the first time. I'm putting a hold on the payments until I run an investigation team through the details once more. So, we hold off and excise our cooling-off period to its fullest before we commit with cash." I even convince myself, and despite knowing how petty it is, it feels like the only weapon I have. Fucking with business deals over some stupid floozy.
"What are you talking about? What risks? Why am I not hearing of this until now?" Jyeon is right on me, looking at me solidly for the first time across the table from his standing spot, and I can read the mild panic in the depths that gives me a slight sense of satisfaction. This project is his current baby, and if she's the reason, I don't intend to make it easy on him at all.
"I only learned of it today. I hadn't quite gotten my head around it yet to come to discuss it with you." I smile, fake as always, and as his eyes narrow on me with a confused frown, I raise one brow and smirk. Resentment rose in the pit of my stomach and loathed his face while he looked so innocently at me.
"I'm sure it's nothing but a little blimp in our relationship ….. with biotech….. but I like to kill any little flies in my ointment before they become a problem." I deliver it coldly and catch the flicker of hesitation in his eyes, the twinge of his brow, and the appearance of one dimple as he flexes his jaw with tension. He can't be sure, but he feels like I'm onto something. I can read it in him because I know him so well.
"What kind of blimp? If I know the issue, I can probably pinpoint the reasons much faster than wasting resources with a team." He grits his teeth, seemingly frustrated and unprepared for this.
"Why, because you're on such good terms with their representative and doubt she'd lie to your face because you trust her?" His eyes widen slightly, and he falters, expression jumping from confused to mild shock, and then he straightens it to hide it all. I know my words are loaded, hate-driven, and stupid, given where we are, but the closed-down way it shocks him makes it worthwhile.