Chapter 61: A Joke
"What do we have in the afternoon?" asked Harry as he reunited with his friends after lunch.
"Defense Against the Dark Arts," said Hermione promptly.
"Oh great, of course I have to meet him again," complained Harry, before his eyes fell on Hermione's schedule. "Why have you outlined all of Lockhart's lessons in little hearts?" he asked with a deadpan expression.
She quickly put her schedule away, blushing. "Didn't you read his books? They are literally works of fiction," he said, shocked that Hermione didn't realize that.
"They are not. They are our books for the class. Of course they are not fiction," she replied defensively.
"Yeah, what about the cure for Werewolves? He would receive at least an Order of Merlin, First Class for that."
"Harry is right, Hermione. There are even rumors in the upper circle that Lockhart is only stealing the credit from other wizards," added Daphne, shaking her head. "The only reason there are no investigations is that there is no clear proof, and he is a pure-blood."
However, no matter how much they argued, Hermione's unwavering belief in the power of books remained deeply rooted. They had no choice but to let the matter go for the time being. After finishing their lunch, they stepped outside into the courtyard, which was cloaked in an overcast sky. Hermione found a seat on a stone step and once again immersed herself in "Voyages with Vampires."
Meanwhile, Harry, Daphne, and Tracey engaged in a conversation about their Herbology lessons, which had become increasingly exciting this year. Suddenly, Harry realized that he was being observed. It was the small, mousy-haired boy who had engaged in a heated discussion with the Sorting Hat the previous night.
Clutching a camera tightly in his hands, the boy stared intently at Harry. As soon as their eyes met, he turned bright red.
'Oh great, I literally have a fanboy. Thank God the Sorting Hat put him in a different House,' thought Harry before the boy began to speak to him.
The boy turned out to be Colin Creevey from Gryffindor, who really wanted to be sorted into Ravenclaw. He mentioned that in passing. Although a lot of words came out of the boy's mouth, Colin wanted a photo with Harry so he could send it home to show his family.
Not having a good reason to decline, as his public image would suffer, Harry accepted it. But at that moment, Lockhart arrived.
"Photos? Who is taking photos?" the attention-seeking Professor loudly asked, and Harry could only sigh as that whole thing caught the attention of the Great Hall.
The whole situation ended up with Harry having a photo with Lockhart, while receiving another unwanted lecture on the way to class. Lockhart basically dragged Harry the whole way to his classroom.
They had reached Lockhart's classroom, and he finally let Harry go. Harry straightened his robes and headed for a seat at the very back of the class, where he busied himself with piling all seven of Lockhart's books in front of him, so he could avoid looking at the real thing.
It didn't take long for the rest of the class to arrive, chattering as his friends joined him in his row.
"Having fun, Harry? You look a bit big-headed there!" teased Tracey with a grin.
"Oh, shut up. I hope we will at least be learning something. The second-year material shouldn't be too hard," he muttered hopefully, as he was already far more advanced in his classes. The Gate of Truth made learning easy, but the professors still had valuable insights.
Unfortunately, everything he saw from Lockhart showed the opposite, but he still had a bit of hope that this feeling was wrong.
But that hope died fast. Lockhart started the lesson with himself as the focal point of the whole class, as if they were there to learn about Lockhart and not Defense Against the Dark Arts.
That idiot seriously had the gall to hand out a test with questions about himself. Questions like, "What is Lockhart's favorite color?" or "Which hair product series does he use?"
Harry spent the whole lesson staring at the paper, not even answering one question. The only question in his mind was: Why? Why did Dumbledore allow this waste of space to teach a class? He was here to study magic, not some clown.
This seriously pissed him off. He could feel his Sin of Wrath working, and another scheme started to form in his mind. Instead of handing back just his test, he added a little gift among the papers he handed forward.
When they went over the results of the test, Lockhart only paused for a moment, his eyes widening as he read the description of the leaflet before continuing as if nothing happened.
'Gotcha,' grinned Harry under his breath, letting his devilish feelings run free. 'Let's see how I will make you pay for wasting my chance to learn more this year. Quirrell was already a shitty teacher, but at least he did something and was able to give good answers to questions. But you will curse the day you chose to become a Hogwarts professor.'
After finishing with that joke of a test, Lockhart attempted to teach something. The emphasis is on "attempted."
He bent down behind his desk and lifted a large, covered cage onto it.
"Now—be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you while I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm."
With that grand speech, he revealed the contents of the cage. Everyone became silent, only to begin laughing in disbelief as the Professor revealed a cage full of Cornish Pixies.
If that wasn't enough to prove his incompetence, he freed them from their cage and released them onto the class, who almost all were unable to defend themselves. Only Harry, Hermione, Daphne, and Tracey managed to shield themselves from the mischievous creatures.
Behind their shields, they watched their Professor get disarmed by some of the weakest creatures known to mankind.
When Harry turned his head towards Hermione, he said with a raised eyebrow, "See?" The girl could only blush, as she had no excuse.
While the pixies caused chaos in the class, the collection of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw students fled, leaving only them and Lockhart, who was also fleeing towards his door.
"Well, I'll ask you four to just put the rest of them back into their cage." He swept past them and quickly shut the door behind him.
"Is he serious?" asked Tracey, palming her face.
Seeing that only people who knew about his Sacred Gear remained, Harry improvised a magic circle, creating an attracting force strong enough to pull small and light things like the pixies towards him.
One by one, he stored them in Innovate Clear, adding a flock of Cornish Pixies to his collection of magical creatures. He wasn't sure what good they were, but they still increased the speed of his demonic reserves' growth, which almost reached the mid-level of middle-class devils.
Seeing that he had finished with the pixies, Daphne said with a sigh, "Let's return to the tower. At least we didn't get any homework."
The others could only nod as they followed her, Hermione still sporting an embarrassed blush on her face.
'I need to learn duplication magic! There's no way I'll spend the whole year attending that idiot's class,' was the only thing Harry could think after that class.
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