6 Chapter Six

It has been two years since I visited the royal library for the first time.

Somehow I managed to not be found two years ago after that accident in the garden. I was seen by some servants, but it wasn't for long, since I managed to become invisible pretty quickly.

I shouldn't need to say that the rumors about a ghost haunting the palace got worse, right?

A ghost appearing during daylight. That was the big talk between the servants for weeks.

I don't know what the King thought about that, but something weird happened that same day.

That day I spent the rest of the day reading books at the royal library. When the sun went down I went back to my room. It was pretty easy heading back to the northwest side after I memorized the palace map that I found at the royal library.

When I entered my bedroom, I didn't even eat the cold dinner left on the table in my room, I just went directly to sleep. I noticed that after using invisible magic for too long I get pretty exhausted.

But, suddenly my door was open. It was Lena, my nanny. She rushed into my bedroom, when she noticed me in my bed she walked in my direction and pulled me by the collar of my shirt.

"Where were you? We've been looking for you for hours!" Lena asked shouting at my face.

"G-Get off of me!" I said trying to push her away, but I failed. I was too weak.

Lena didn't even care. Looking me in the eyes furiously she asked. "I will ask one more time. Where were you?"

I thought I was used to Lena's angry looks. But that time I could feel something more than anger. I could feel her murderous intent towards me.

"I-I was studying." I answered scared.

Suddenly, I felt my left cheek getting warm, and then I felt the pain. Lena slapped me in the face.

"Liar. We looked for you in the library before. You weren't there." Her gaze was colder than ice. I knew if I wasn't careful Lena wouldn't stop with just a slap on my face, she would do something worse without even thinking twice.

But… I didn't care.

"I was hiding." I said looking directly into her eyes.

She looked surprised. "...Why were you hiding?"

"Because I didn't want to see you. Looking at your face makes me sick! I wanna throw up every time I see your disgusting face!"

Lena slapped me again, but harder this time. I could feel my lips bleeding.

"You little…" She was trembling in anger.

I could feel her anger while she was staring me in the eyes. I was scared, but I didn't avert my eyes. I was tired of her looking down on me, treating me like trash.

Surprisingly, Lena just threw me on the bed and said. "If you managed to get out of the northwest area and someone out of here sees you… I will kill you."

Lena left the room without looking back. But I knew that she meant what she said.

Because of her, I couldn't sleep that night. I got even more anxious. I knew that my only chance to live a long life in this world was to leave this palace. As soon as possible.

After that event, Lena never confronted me again. I don't know why she did that, but I think maybe she heard what happened early that day when I was seen by the servants in the garden. Probably that was the reason she looked for me that day.

It took me two weeks so I could leave the northwest side again. The maids kept following me every day. I thought I wouldn't be able to leave this place ever again.

But, I think they got tired of it. Suddenly, one day, they stopped following me. I could finally explore the palace again.

Then, every day I visited the royal library.

At first, I just read books of fiction, most of them were romances. I was so happy when I found them!

I was afraid there wasn't be any book like this in the royal library. For a moment I thought only academics and more serious books would be there.

So when I founded it, I couldn't stop myself from reading all of them.

But, it wasn't only romances books that I read. I also studied as well. If I want to become an adventure one day, I need to learn everything I can now.

There are plenty of books about magic, monsters, and potions, everything that may be useful to me in the future. I tried my best to learn all of it.

My life didn't change much in these two years. Most of the time I was studying, but now I have romances to read. That's enough to make me happy.

But, after a year of doing that almost every day, I noticed how much weight I lost, but not in a healthy way.

Since I usually just ate one meal a day, I just got weaker and thinner. It seemed like I would fall sick any time. Breakfast was the only meal I had before going to the royal library, and when I came back to my room at night I rarely ate the dinner left in my room.

One night, before going back to the northwest area, I decided to visit the kitchen where they cook the royal family's meals.

Just in time, I found the leftovers, before anyone had disposed of them. There was no one in the kitchen. Curious I decided to taste the food. I took a spoonful and I shoved it in my mouth.

I was surprised. Even though it was cold, it was the best food I ever ate since I reincarnated in this world.

I was so used to the unsalted and unseasoned food that the maids served me that I forgot how was the taste of decent food.

I ate all the leftovers.

Every night, before going back to the northwest area, I ate the leftovers that I found in the main kitchen. It was one of the best times of my day, sometimes I even found some desserts as well.

This also resolved the problem with my weight. I got healthier over time.

Well, at least, this act of mine was the rats that were blamed, not a ghost. During these two years, I tried my best to avoid any new ghost rumors, and I think I've done pretty well since the rumors about ghosts hunting the palace is an old story now.

But, it wasn't all that happened in these two years. I also learned something pretty cool!

Now I don't need to be invisible all the time after I leave the northwest area.

I learned how to manipulate light in a way that I can create illusions as well. With that, I can change my appearance now.

I just need to change my hair color to brown and the color of my eyes to green, no one can ever imagine my real identity. And this way I use less mana as well, making me less tired at the end of the day.

Since I only have worn and plain clothes, everyone thinks that I may be just a commoner, some servant child.

No one will ever think that I am the King's bastard child.

I have a secret place at the royal library where I can read without being seen. It's close to the doors, so I can hear if anyone enters, and it's far away from the windows, so no one can see me through the windows.

Since I don't use the invisible magic if I don't have to, I can comfortably read the books hidden at the library, without worrying about being found.

I've been doing that for months now. Usually, not many people come here. If they do, they usually pick a book and then leave. I thought I would see the princes and the princess studying in the library one day, but I never did. Just then I realized that they pretty much may have their own library and study rooms.

So just like every day, today I had all the library to myself.

In my hands, I was holding a book, one of my favorite books from this world. It's a book where the protagonist is a male royal servant, he was friends with the Crown Prince when they were children, and when they got older he realized that he was in love with the Crown Prince. Later he discovers that the Crown Prince reciprocated his feelings as well.

Since in this world someone that has a noble title or is a noble title's heir can't marry someone of the same gender, they had a forbidden romance.

I cry so much every time I read this book. It is not just because it is a good book, but every time I read this, I know that my wish was granted.

There is no homophobia in this world. I couldn't be happier.

I've already read this book more than I can remember. This is my comfort book now. Every time I need some reassurance and hope, I read this book.

'One day I may have a beautiful relationship with a boy as they both had.' I thought to myself looking at the book with a silly smile on my face.

But then, I heard someone ask.

"Who are you?"