[BL] EGOTISTIC

Right on December 8th, a car accident at 9:20 pm, both of his parents died while coming home from work.

Suga clearly remembered the feeling of horror that echoed the first time the police knocked on his door, Danny, his younger brother, was fast asleep in the room. The two policemen had stern faces but Suga could not get past how there was a hint of pity implied on the faces of the two men.

Twitch, twitch. His head ached since before he opened the door of the house.

Suga already had a bad feeling, nothing good would happen if the police were involved. He had never personally had an unpleasant encounter with the police, the reason was simple; he did not like people in uniform.

Suga's hunch was immediately answered when one of the police said that his parents had an accident and were in the hospital in critical condition.

For the first time in his life, Suga, a man who was always confident, and had never experienced fear— was stricken with fear and anxiety.

Fear, wonder, anxiety, nervousness, when the face of his little brother passed in his mind.

Danny, a sweet little brother who was very spoiled by his father and mother. He did not think about himself but Danny who was still fast asleep in the room.

The police offered to take Suga to go to the hospital in their car but Suga shook his head, he would go alone with his brother. The two policemen did not force him to come along and one of the men squeezed his shoulder lightly, as if giving silent sympathy. Suga nodded slowly, saying thank you.

It happened 7 years ago, 7 years that went so fast.

His younger brother's cries still ring true in his ears, how Danny squeezed his shoulder, hugged Suga tightly and sobbed in his arms.

And Suga, who also experienced grief over the death of his parents— did not want to shed tears in front of his younger brother, did not want to be seen as a weak support.

And today, December 8, he was again standing in front of the columbarium of his parents, praying even though he did not believe in the existence of God, maybe the words of prayer have a calming effect.

"Danny will be fifteen soon, he will be entering high school ... Isn't Danny growing up so fast? I didn't even realize time went by so quickly like this."

Staring at the smiling photo of his parents, Suga also smiled a little, he was someone who rarely smiled even before this unfortunate incident happened to him, but he could not help but smile every time he talked about Danny.

"Danny is the reason why I'm still alive..."

He continued the conversation with the photos on display, objects that were not even alive, Suga stared blankly, closing his eyes for a few moments remembering Danny who was growing more mature. Soon highschool registration would be open. Danny was a smart kid and he wanted to send him to a good school, which could make Danny a successful man in the future.

Suga walked out of the columbarium, he returned to the small apartment, when he opened the door, the room was empty and the lights were still off. Seemed like Danny had not come home yet.

He prepared dinner in the kitchen, cooked simple meals that Danny always ate with gusto, today he could buy chicken wings, Suga could not wait to see Danny's reaction when he saw Suga buying his favorite food.

Clack.

The door opened to reveal Danny with an expressionless face, but when he saw his older brother walking out of the kitchen his eyes lit up.

"Suga! You're home already? Don't you usually work until seven?"

"Aha, I think I forgot to mention that today I have a day off."

Danny stared at every inch of Suga's face, as if guessing, "What ... oh, did you visit mother and father's columbarium?"

Suga nodded, "Don't you stop over there?"

The smile on Danny's lips instantly disappeared, he shook his head.

Yeah, Danny rarely went there, and Suga never forced him to go. Back to the kitchen to cook something, Suga shouted.

"Danny, I bought you chicken wings do you want me to cook these now?"

Danny nodded, he turned on the television, leaning back casually on the black sofa.

Television broadcasts filled the silence in their small apartment, seven years had passed and it seemed they were used to this atmosphere, just the two of them—here, and it was really peaceful.

"Suga—"

Danny suddenly opened his mouth, his eyes still on the television screen. "I'm not going to get into Allway Highschool."

Hearing this statement, Suga suddenly stopped his work, he came out of the kitchen and looked at Danny with a surprised look.

Was not that what Danny wanted? going to Allway Highschool was his wish as someone who really loved machines and robots, a school that focused on studying mechanical and computer engineering.

"Why?"

"I just don't want to.."

"Do not lie!" Suga subconsciously raised his voice, but Danny ignored his older brother who looked at him with an expression of disbelief. "You are going to get in there. I know you can—"

"I want to go to a regular school." Again Danny spoke casually with a relaxed face, in contrast to Suga who frowned, still in a state of astonishment.

There was no way his younger brother, who had always proudly told him about Allway Highschool and how the facilities there were very supportive for machine-loving people like him, would suddenly change his mind.

Is this one of the puberty stages of teenagers Danny's age?

Suga had no idea, but it was weird.

After finishing cooking the chicken wings, he took off the apron. Putting a plate full of chicken wings on the living room small table, not forgetting to give a slap to the head of his little brother who was still watching television. Danny groaned dramatically, Suga sat on the ottoman.

"What made you change your mind?"

Not answering, Danny just shook his shoulder, took some hot chicken wings and blew before he ate it.

Raising an eyebrow at his brother's unusual behavior, Suga sighed. "At least tell me the reason so I can rest easy."

"Are you going to stop asking this again after I honestly tell you my real reasons?"

Hesitated for a while, but finally letting out a heavy sigh, Suga nodded.

Danny glanced at him with a somewhat nervous look, they were silent for a while until Danny finally opened his mouth, "Suga, you... do you think, tsk— you know the fees there are very expensive, even if you get a scholarship, the equipment and labs in there isn't free. The students there also need the latest models of laptops."

"I have my money, so you dont have to worry, I saved alot for you."

"No, it won't be enough."

"I can apply for another job, so rest easy."

"You should stop working for me and focusing on yourself, you're 25 already it's time for you to have a girlfriend or something."

Huh.

This was new. Danny did not usually talk to Suga that way. Suga raised an eyebrow, he tilted his head at Danny who was chewing the chicken.

"Why do you suddenly think like that? I don't need a girlfriend, and you're my priority so don't think about unnecessary stuff."

"I am sleepy-"

Danny straightened his body, stood up and walked towards the room without noticing Suga who had a bewildered face, hearing the reason that came out of Danny's mouth, somehow his heart felt tight. He knew his younger brother was smart and observant of the situation but hearing directly that they did not have enough money from his younger brother's mouth made Suga's head throb in frustration.

No he was not frustrated with Danny, he was frustrated with himself.

At the age of 25, he still had a low-paying job.

This was his own fault for not continuing his studies, but what else can I do?, he thought, after the death of their parents, all years he spent taking care of his younger brother, it was impossible to leave young Danny at home alone.

"Sorry Dan."

He whispered to himself, staring at Danny's bedroom door which was closed tightly.