THE TASTE OF HIS LIPS

THE TASTE OF HIS LIPS

Written by: Lilaclily

"Eros this is wrong!" I hissed and avoided his kiss.

He pulled my waist closer to him and kissed me aggressively.

"I miss you Anicka" he said between the kiss.

A single tear slid from my eye. I know this isn't right but I miss him too, so damn much.

I kissed back, I can feel the smile that's forming on his lips.

His kiss is passionate, I can feel how much he love me. We're both longing for each other and I can feel it. I can feel my heart wanting every inch of him.

We're lost in the reality and live in our fantasy, kahit saglit lang. Kahit isang saglit ay hayaan muna kaming gawin ang aming gusto kahit hindi nararapat.

After the passionate kiss that we shared together, pareho kaming naghahabol ng sarili naming hininga. Masyadong nalunod na masarap n'yang halik.

"Eros you're drunk again.." I said.

I can smell the whiskey on his breathe.

"I'm fine, I'm tired so here I am. I miss you Anicka, god knows how much I want you everytime I see you but I can't even kiss you" he said.

I can feel the pain. Damn, bakit ba kasi kami napunta sa gantong sitwasyon.

Nakayakap s'ya sa akin habang naka harap kami sa bilog at maliwanag na buwan. Nagulat ako ng bigla n'ya akong halikan sa leeg. Ayaw ko man ngunit gusto ng aking katawan kaya nagpadala ako sa sensasyong dulot ng kanyang makasalanang labi.

Namulat ako galing sa pagpikit ng marinig kong tumutunog ang kanyang telepono.

"Eros, someone's calling you.." I said in a low tone voice.

"Tsk! Distorbo!" he hissed kaya napatawa nalang ako.

Sumilip ako kung sino ang tumawag. It's ate Mildred...

"Sagutin mo muna" I said with a bit disappoinment and stared at the moon again. Sa pag angat lamang ng buwan ko natitikman ang kanyang labi. The darkness of the night covers our sin and the moonlight reveals the love that we're trying to hide.

"I love you too Mildred" I heard him.

Masakit pero dapat na akong masanay. Pinasok ko ang ganito set up so I should face the consequences.

"Anicka I have to go" he said and kissed me from the back.

Tumango nalang ako at nilipat nalang uli ang atensyon sa buwan. Aalis na naman s'ya, oo nga naman. Hindi naman talaga s'ya akin.

He kissed my cheeks once again after leaving, I don't know where this is taking us to...

Kinabukasan ay nag ayos ako ng sarili para sa meeting.

Nang makarating ako sa sinabing restaurant ay ako nalang pala ang hinihintay.

"Good morning, sorry I'm late" I said as I sat down.

Nagdadalawang isip pa ako dahil katabi ko si Eros pero wala akong choice. We just need to act professionally.

"Maybe we should eat first?" saad ni Mr. Lee kaya pormal kaming tumungo at nagsimula ng kumain.

While chewing the pancakes, I can feel Eros is sniffing me, I can feel his breath in my neck.

"Eros, stop" I said while chewing para di mahalata ng mga ka meeting namin.

"I miss you" he whispered.

Inilayo ko ng konti ang aking sarili dahil hindi ako komportable sa ginagawa n'ya.

"Ms. Santi. I want to introduce my son, Jake. He's one year older than you" panimula ni Mr. Lee kaya natuon ang attention ko sa kanya at sa anak n'ya.

"Oh, hi my greetings to you Mr. Jake. My name is Anicka Santi and it's a pleasure to meet you" I said formally.

Nakita kong napangiti si Jake kaya mas lalong sumingkit ang kanyang mga mata. Ang cute.

"You're so gorgeous" he complimented me kaya napangiti ako.

"You two can make a good couple" panunukso ng ama ni Jake kaya sabay kaming natawa.

Natigil nalang kami ng marinig namin ang pagtikhim ni Eros.

I look at him and saw him clenching his Jaws. Hindi na maipinta ang kanyang mukha kaya mahina kong tinampal ang kanyang hita mula sa ilalim.

"Behave" bulong ko at nagsimula uling kumain.

Nagsimula na kaming mag usap-usap tungkol sa business at mga ilang oras ang nakalipas ay nagpaalam nadin ang mag amang Lee.

"Why do you have to smile in front of Jake?!" pagalit n'yang tanong sa'kin.

"Anong gusto mong gawin ko? Magalit sa ka meeting natin. I'm just being professional Eros" sagot ko.

"Do you like Jake?" he asked annoyingly.

"Shut up, I don't. Alalahin mo ang pinunta natin dito" sagot ko uli.

"Sorry baby, I just missed you" he apologized and give me a slight peck on my lips.

"Stop it, baka may makakita sa atin dito. You and your girlfriend are both famous. Baka pag pyestahan tayo ng media" saway ko sa kanya.

He just sighed and started walking away, alam kong naiinis s'ya pero anong magagawa ko kung patago ang relasyon namin.

Kinagabihan ay hinanda ko ang aking sarili sa pagsilip ng buwan, I'm too excited to taste his lips again. I'm wearing the lingerie I bought and sprayed a bit perfume to attract him.

Nasa terrace lang ako at nakatingin sa moon rise habang nakangiti. I was interrupted when I heard my phone ringing kaya agad ko itong kinuha at sinagot ang tawag.

"Anicka, I'm so sorry. Hindi ako makakapunta d'yan, inaatake na naman si Mildred and she needs me here in the hospital" Eros said.

Lahat ng naramdaman kong excitement kanina ay nawala, nadismaya ako sa aking narinig pero wala akong magagawa. Girlfriend n'ya yun, yes I am his girlfriend too pero sa mata ng lahat ng tao ay s'ya lang ang kilalang girlfriend ni Eros.

Natulog nalang ako kahit mabigat sa pakiramdam. Well, what can I do?

....

Naglalakad ako sa hall ng bahay ng biglang may humila sa akin papunta sa madilim na lugar.

"Eros ano ba! Baka makita tayo ni Mommy tsaka ni Mildred!" singhal ko sa kanya.

"Don't you miss me?" he asked softly.

Agad din namang lumambot ang puso ko kasi sa totoo lang. I miss him, simula nong may lakad sila lagi ni Ate Mildred ay hindi na kami nagkakaroon ng pagkakataong magkita and damn I miss the taste of his lips.

"I do Eros, I miss you so much" saad ko sa kanya kaya agad n'ya akong siniil ng mapusok na halik.

Ang halik na matagal ko ng ninanais, ang halik na puno ng pagmamahal, paghihinagpis at pangungulila. Damn his lips, I could never resist this.

Humalik ako pabalik kaya mas lalo n'ya akong niyakap ng mahigpit. I miss the warmth of his body and this sensation na sa kanya ko lang nararamdaman.

Humiwalay s'ya sa paghalik kaya nagulat ako.

"Anicka mali to..." he whispered.

"Alam ko, matagal na nating alam Eros" bulong ko pabalik.

I can feel his frustration. Sinong hindi diba?

Nagulat ako ng sinuntok n'ya ang pader saka naglakad paalis, naawa ako sa aming dalawa. We know this won't work but our hearts want each other. Fuck.

Nagpunas ako ng luha at naglakad ng pormal dahil magsisimula na ang dinner, umupo ako sa tabi ni mommy at ate Mildred.

"Anicka Hija, are you dating anyone right now? You're not getting any younger. You should have a boyfriend by now" tanong ni Tita.

"I'm sorry tita but I'm focusing on business right now" I answered.

"I think she have a crush on Mr. Lee's son" panunukso ni ate Mildred.

Umiwas ako ng tingin dahil alam kong matalim na ang tingin ni Eros sa'kin.

"Babe I think Anicka is not interested. Let's not bother her" sabat ni Eros kay ate Mildred.

"Sus overprotective ka lang, akala mo naman hindi ka ganyan sa akin noon. You kept staring at me when we have business meetings" pang-aasar ni ate Mildred kay Eros kaya nagtawanan sila.

Nakitawa nalang din ako upang itago ang sakit na aking nararamdaman.

Nagsimula na kaming kumain at nag usap-usap tungkol sa business.

"By the way, about our wedding. I want Anicka to be my Made of honor" singit ni ate Mildred.

Nabulunan ako kaya napainom ako ng tubig. I look at Eros and I know he's saying sorry.

"Si Ate Kylie ate Mildred, she's your Bestfriend right? Bakit hindi s'ya?" I asked.

Wala akong balak pumunta sa kasal nila kaya ayoko maging made of honor.

"Nah, gusto ko ikaw. We're all set na. May dress kana din since nagpasa na kami ng sukat mo" maligayang saad n'ya.

"Umm excuse me I need to go to the comfort room" saad ko at nagmadaling tumalikod.

Ang sakit, ang sakit sakit. They're talking about my Man and ate Mildred's wedding. And then here's me, a fool.

Iinom na sana ako ng tubig ng bigla akong hilain ni Eros at sinandal sa kitchen.

"Stop...stop this...stop" maotoridad kong saad habang umiiwas ng tingin sa kanya.

"Anicka look at me baby..sorry to hurt you. Sorry if you're hurting" mahinang saad n'ya.

Agad namuo ang mga luha sa aking mata kaya umiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya.

"Fuck if only we can do anything! But we're siblings! I'm your brother! Damn DNA!" he frustratingly said.

I'm frustrated too pero anong magagawa namin? Wala.

"We should stop this. I'm breaking up with you Eros" saad ko.

Masakit pero kailangan, ayoko man pero mali.

"No..baby..I want you.. please no" he said, almost pleading.

"Stop...hindi pwede" saad ko at lumayo sa kanya ngunit hinila n'ya ang bewang ko at siniil ako ng mapupusok na halik.

"Babe? Babe?...Anicka? Asan kayo? Tawag na kayo don sa table" rinig kong sabi ni Ate Mildred.

Lumaki ang aking mga mata at agad s'yang tinulak palayo.

"Oh there you are, bakit parang nag iiyakan kayo? Will you miss your big brother Anicka? hahaha don't worry hindi ko naman s'ya ipagdadamot sa'yo" natatawang saad ni Ate Mildred.

I look at Eros, he's looking at me with his bloodshot eyes. Oh god sorry I have to push you away baby.

Ngumiti ako kay ate Mildred. She's so nice and I feel so bad because we're doing this behind her back but I couldn't resist love.

"Let's go na, hinahanap na tayo nila tita" ate Mildred said and intertwined his hands with Eros' hands. Mas lalong nanikip ang dibdib ko ng makita kong mahigpit ang pagkakahawak ni Eros sa kamay ni Ate Mildred. Para bang takot s'ya mawala ito.

Bago pa sila naglakad paalis ay matalim ang tingin sa akin ni Eros. Nakahinga nalang ako ng mawala sila sa paningin ko. Bakit ang sakit magmahal, gusto ko lang naman magmahal pero bakit kay Kuya Eros pa.

Nagdaan ang mga araw ay hindi na kami nagpansinan ni Eros. Hanggang sa dumating ang araw ng kasal nila.

Pupunta sana ako sa grupo ng iba pang bridesmaid ng biglang may humila sa akin.

"Stop it! Ikakasal kana Kuya!" Sigaw ko sa kanya.

"Since when did you learn to call me Kuya, Anicka?" sarkastiko n'yang tanong sa'kin.

"Since I started learning to speak" sagot ko.

"Baby shhh. Napag isipan ko, pwede akong tumanggi sa kasal na'to just one word from you baby. Tell me you love me" mahina n'yang sabi.

"What?!" gulat kong saad.

"We can be together, say I love you baby" saad n'ya uli na may nangungusap na mata.

No..kasalanan to sa mata ng lahat. And besides ate Mildred is too nice to be treated this way.

"Ayoko Kuya. Narealize kong hindi na kita mahal, it's all lust" matapang kong saad.

"No, don't say that. I know how much you want me and I'm willing to take the risk" He said.

"No, my body wants you. Not me" matigas kong sabi.

He sighed, I can see how broken he is because of what I said pero wala akong magawa. Kailangan kong magparaya lalo na at mali kung kami ay magsasama.

He gave a peck kiss on my lips.

"Pag isipan mong mabuti before I say I do" saad n'ya bago umalis.

Napahawak ako sa aking labi. This is the last time that I'll taste his lips.

The taste of his lips is what's giving our lovestory alive but the taste of his lips is sacred. I'm not brave enough to risk, I'm sorry Eros. You'll no longer be my lover, but a brother.