Soulless- Volume 1- Quite

'It's quiet'

Looking around since I got my conscious back, no one is here. Not even a speck of light, darkness… its' just dark all around. It isn't taunting or anything extraordinary, somehow, I know- its' belongs to me.

Its feel like I'm drifting through the vast cosmos. Only two things differ for the time being, one is – 'the surrounding darkness which is me' and the second is, -all the time I haven't see any galaxy or constellation. 'Oh god… even a meteor will work.'

…

Quite a time had passed.' Ahh… Some habits are truly unholy in a sense.' I tried to scratch my butt and head, and that's how I came to know that- I'm formless. 'No Butt, no more poo. No head no more hair fall!'

I like the calmness here. Moreover, it's me- all around. A nice for starting scarelore but can't these things quickly finish.

…

"Hey... are you still there. I know you are looking me."

"Hehe...quit hide & seek." It isn't how the things goes.

…

"Ok. We do the things as you prefer. Sounds good?"

"So, can we talk? A nice healthy conversation"

…

"Hey!! I said I know you are there. Please stop..."

"Please talk to me. Look, I do the things just tell me."

"One word. Just one word. Ahh… say something."

…

Lonely

No one answers. Even I, I didn't Know what to call me right now. A long time has passed, and it's the same then, and now. Darkness, and darkness... it doesn't make sense why, why I am here? Why... why????

…

Peace

I think I used to love that, maybe in the past, being in the darkness – 'away from everything.' But now, I am afraid. Afraid, not because of someone -"ha... how could I be afraid of someone. Hee-hee... Here nothing, nothing.... I am... I am afraid of myself." Things I always wanted, and now I am afraid- 'How ironic.'

Don't remember the time when all those things started. Even the concept of time loses its meaning. Along with all these, I lose the sense of myself. I wish I could talk to someone and share my feelings throughout this entirety of the boundless darkness.

I wished, and still wish for someone... be with me.... having a small chat.... share....

…

Lately, something has changed. Ahh... finally, God listened to me. How could I, the one, - "wait, I?"

Ah... why do more and more questions pop up on their own. I want some time alone, "Leave me alone! Go. Shu. Shu..."

…

Surrounding.

There is someone in the surrounding. They thought that I didn't know about them.

'Hehe... they watched me every second, and I could feel it. They... they are there. Hee-hee... I know someone out there. I know.'

Flooded by emotions. Being in bliss, I can't put words to describe these emotions, but these emotions smoothen my entire being. Words to describe it-Happiness?

'... nah... not enough. I feel like I am complete in a certain sense.'

I waited and waited, but they didn't talk.

"Hey... you are there! I know you are there...."

"Don't hide, come, and talk to me."

"Look, I do the things. Just say-'I will do it!'

"One word. Please..., one word. Talk to me."

 Talk to me... Talk to me....

They never talked. I begged, but they didn't utter a single word. Now, I am afraid of someone other than me. Someone out there, maybe in the endless abyss or beyond that.

I called, many times as much as I could. But all in vain.

"It's too much..., I can't handle it anymore."

…

Quite…Lonely…Peace…Surrounding…Happiness???

Afraid.

I am afraid of them. They never showed, but it's the eerie feeling that, if they ever showed up, I am bound to lose something important. I am not afraid of death because, in some way, I knew I was already dead. Even if they try to kill me, I am ok with that, but why? Why? Why? My instinct cried out whenever I think of them. The fear of the unknown gripped me. The gazing of the unknown beings frights me.

****

Experimental Subject- XX36TCz

Current situation – Dead

Cause- Mentally Breakdown

Rate - "1.01. 235.."

Details-

Subject "XX36TCz". Lab@#1289.

Time frame-XXX. Failed.

Subject "XX36TCZ" is surrounded by light during the entire time.

Overview-....

****

"Hey. hey.... I am not dead. I am alive, can't you see... you fucking rascal..@$%^# Let's talk. Look, I am here..."

I heard them talking. I called, again and again. They, they...

****

Restart the program and make the necessary corrections.

****

Quiet.

No one here ever since I started looking for someone. Wherever I see, Darkness.... and Darkness.

The calmness here felt like home. It's just me and darkness. Not even a single speck of light.

…

Restart.

…

you know, I have been here for a so long, long time ...

****Restart****

who are you? why do I feel something important taken away from me?

I am you...

****Restart...****

Mom, call me mom. Don't cry... oh... look, dada. dada. shh... don't cry...

**Restart**

Mom...

**Restart…Restart…. **

"Ok, I see you tomorrow."

"Bye"

...

"You are beautiful. I love you. "

...

 **Restart…Restart. **

Something isn't right. It may have happened before.

 why do I always feel like everything is predictable?

**Restart. **

I didn't wish for this kind of life. Why do I have too insecure always? I want that too...I want...

....

He is cute. I should sit next to him.

He noticed me, calm… calm. The seminar is going to end, he should have approached me. Is he isn't interested.

ykk... He is gone. I could have made the first step. He's kind of cute. And here I'm silly.

....

She is beautiful.

Kill her.

...

 Should I make a move? or not? If it goes well, then good, and if it doesn't,' god makes it good!'

…

"What do you want?"

"Blood! "

…

Finally, ahh... he is cute. Focus...Focus.

I can't bring up my clumsy behavior.

…

Blood!!!mom

…

"Why do people need others? It doesn't make sense."

"They can't live with themselves throughout their entire life."

"Why not. They had everything, don't they?"

…

"I can't live without you. From the day I met you...."

"Don't cry. I am here, I am not going anywhere. Even if you want me to go, I will break your legs and Hehe... then I will tie you with the ropes...and if you told me anything wrong, I will punch you like. whoosh. Whoosh..."

"Ok. ok... I get it. I am just afraid."

"Afraid?"

...

Blood!!! mom...afraid???

…

"Why does everyone need another person's judgment to know of their standing?"

"Can you become a king without a kingdom?"

"??"

"People need the support of others. They have to tie themselves with something so they can live on."

...

I want you to be dead!!

...

"Baby. Don't run fast; next time, you will only hurt yourself."

"Mm.."

"You are a part of me. I always want you to live happily. If you are hurt, it hurt me more."

...

Blood!!!mom...afraid???happily...

…

" Why do God exit? "

" Hope!"

"Hope?"

" Things are bound to fail at some point. They don't want to crumple themselves by the world they had created."

…

"Do you remember the time when we first met?"

"How could I forget that? You approached me first. I think we are attending concerts or so maybe seminar? You don't know, but I....want to ask you first... Don't look at me like that. I am a girl; I can't just ask you as you did."

"..."

"Oh, sorry, what are you going to tell me?"

"I know I am going to talk some weird stuff. I don't know how to say it? So... just listen.

When I see you for the first time, how could I say it? It's..., it's like you are the one. Your eyes...Hey don't! don't laugh. I am not going to tell you. "

"Ok, ok. I am not laughing anymore. Look, you are too cute. I can't control myself. Tell me now."

"Don't laugh."

".."

"At that time, you complete me, and now giving birth, you filled our world with happiness. I'm so happy."

"Hee-hee,"

"Don't laugh at me like that. Hehe... I know, I am acting like a child now."

"Looks like I have to care, one more child. My, cute... cute. husband."

...

mom. Blood!!!afraid??? Happiness...

…

 " If may I ask, who you are and why you are answering all my questions?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. "

"Shouldn't I ask you about these?"

"Why me? "

…

.... mom.... child...my baby.... I am father now...call me mom. I am afraid.... kill...I want to live...I wished I could have killed her...I want to die...why I am... I can't stop.... why do I ask these questions.... why... I want to live...I don't want to die.... who am I?... Stop. Stop all these... please, I begged you.... don't, don't.... Why do I know all this... you are calling father .... mom.... me .... who are you... me.... father.... me...mom ... you... you are...Me ...

 mom....my baby... I'm afraid.... I am here .... happiness.... people need hope.... people need support...people can't live just lonely for their whole life.... they need support...people need hope.... God provides hope.... its very existence is hope...

...

"The God?"

...

gods, provides the hope I needed... but you answered all my questions... you are hope... to me...you.... you are...

Hahaha...

**Failed. **

*****

A lost soul, drifting in the endless abyss.

Unbound by time, space, and reality.

Begged by lonesome, but taken by emptiness.

A lost soul, cursed by giving thoughts.

He finds himself and then fights with the complexity of his thoughts. In the end, he bound itself with its own time, space, and reality to find the purpose of its existence.

To become a light in its darkness. At last, it dissolves in its darkness without seeing the light all around.

A lost soul within the endless darkness.

*****

….

"Restart the program. This time brings the reading back to normal."

" Ok."

"Is there anything? "

" I don't want to cross the boundaries intentionally, but may I ask something?"

" .."

" Why do we have to do it."

"Why?"