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Letting someone get close, reach in, and touch your heart is an exhilarating and frightening experience all at the same time. There are plenty of people out there, more than enough for everyone to find a great match. In fact, you may find a good match several times over, and just as your heart breaks it will also mend and be ready to be touched again. However, if you lose that empathy that makes you a decent human being, life will become bleak and meaningless.

I wanted him all to myself. he didn't need anyone else. When it came to him I was selfish. He was pure and kind. Worth more than any stone in the world. Crystal, Diamond, Amethyst he was above it all. He has my heart and it was beyond dangerous.

I've been tryna keep my emotions at bay but he has my heart soul and mind, there isn't a time of day I don't think about him.

My heartaches to feel his touch and hear his angelic voice one more time

Watch into his eye, so much mixed emotions, see him smile just....one last time

He left my side no warning and it hurt so bad

so bad to the point I'm numb...

February 06, 2007

Zora ran upstairs and into her brother Jackson's room excitement springing through her veins. Stopping at a holt in front of his open doors and slightly hiding behind it she saw something odd. Something wasn't right. Her brother was on the bedroom floor playing with his counsels, which were normal but there was something off it was a....boy?

The mystery boy looked up at her and tilted his head and stared, she grew antsy under his gaze, 'who is he' she thought to myself as she stared back

As the sun shined through the window and on to his skin it glowed goldish brown giving off a pure era around him it was quite beautiful, curly black long hair falling to his passed his shoulders, his eyes were very peculiar one of his eyes being a dark gray with swirls of brown and the other being ocean blue letting her curiosity get the best of her she stepping into the room

driving deep into his gaze. She has never seen such eyes as his before.

Amazing.

"Oh hey ZoZo" Jackson smiled at his little sister as he's only now noticing her, snapping her eyes towards him he spoke again "Come here have a sit" patting the spot next to him on the floor. She slowly walked over and sat down next to her big brother

"Here," Jackson said as he handed her the PS2 controller.

She looked at it funny, just studying it for seconds. She was lost as to what to do with it curiosity found its way on her face.

As she was about to ask what it was the boy spoke.

"It's a PS2 controller" the little boy explained he had the voice of an angel something stirred inside of her but she doesn't know what it was. Shrugging the weird feeling off she nods even though she is still confused about what or how to use the thing or to why she is feeling excited? The boy took the controller as he took it his finger brushed hers sending sparks throughout her body she looked up at him in shook slightly hoping that he felt it too. She push the feeling away as he showed her what to do and how to use it.

"Wanna try?" he smiled at her, eyes twinkling, his smile was breathtaking and there was just something about the smile and the way he looked at her, she tilted her head but nodded and smiled back.

losing track of how long she stared at him she wondered what his name was he chuckled at how adorable she looked as he stared back and as if he could read her mind...

"My name is Xavier, Xavier Halls"

The snow continued to fall at a steady rate outside looking out over my parents' yard, through my now fogged-up window a blanket of snow masking over the greenish-gray grass. With only a layer of white covering its features, the yard had turned into something unfamiliar. Memories of my childhood spread through my mind hearing the laughter and screams echo in my ears a tear threatened to spill out of my eyes staring at the yard as a younger me stared back pearly white teeth sparkling as she grinned she looked happy pure like gold beautiful as her skin shimmered and an era bloomed around her. Snapping me out of my gaze a large flurry of snow pummeled into the ground to my left and my eyes moved to find its source. My mother was shoveling snow from the driveway to the yard, though she knew her efforts were in vain as the snow had already begun to claim around the space she still tried to clear the area. I watched as the neighbors stared at her as if they saw something strange, they may see it as something counterintuitive, but she knew it would be easier to deal with if she got a start on it now than wait to shovel the four inches that were expected to fall in the next few hours.

I was startled from my thoughts when my brother jumped up into space beside me on the loveseat. In the corner of the family room next to the windows, I groaned when his feet fell on to my papers I had laid out on the seat next to me. I push him off the couch and with a loud stump he fell to the ground I chuckled escaped my mouths as he groans

'oh come Zo that hurted' he rubbed the back of his head at he glared at me but the amusement in his eyes never went unnoticed. "I don't think hurted is a word dumbass"I whispered Giving he a small smile and soon turned my gaze back to the snow on the yards' floor getting lost in my mind all over again

Letting the comfortable silences fall around us I lay my head on his shoulder

I and my brother have had an unbreakable bond from the beginning of time.

Our parents once told us that in Jacksons and I's past lives we have never once left each other's side We life and took our last breathe together just to be born again even through thinking about reincarnation and past lives at such a small age sure did give my small mind a headache as I grew I started to understand and believe in it

Growing up I always thought I had powers, the power to heal and help others the powers of a goddess with the purest heart but I stopped believing in that the day my best friend and lover died.

Its wasn't his time....Life or Die Situation? And God took his life? it's not fair...A soul everyone loved and adored, a soul you can count on, Xavier Hills.

I've been told my whole life that love is a journey but sometimes even if we think we have the destination all planned out there will be billion of surprises along the way, I learned this the hard way; all journeys or relationships have a beginning a middle and an end

I don't even know if this is my end I can only hope that it isn't.

I closed my eyes numbing out everything around me I went into collective thought

'Open your eyes Zorya' his voice chants 'Hey look at me, I love you'

"No no no not aga-" I repeated whispering softly

'FUCK ZORA! LOOK AT ME' his voice echoed in my ears, I let out a soft whimper "Xavier"

I felt a hand on my shoulder, "Hey you ok?, Open your eyes" I heard Jackson say

I turned to watch him a worry expression grew on his face I know that he hated to see me this way so I gave him a small smile and nodded my head yes.

The day I saw the body of my best friend in a white casket started replaying in my head

′In Memory Of Xavier Dwayne Efron Hills′

He was dressed in his favorite jacket...the one I last saw him in

His hair is in singles his favorite hairstyle

His skin was lighter than usual, he didn't look like himself he didn't look like my Xav.

He looked fake

My Knees weak, my arm was heavy, palms were getting sweaty I felt dazed, none of it felt real.

My heartbeat is now picking up, the room felt like it was spinning

′I'm sorry mamas, You know if there was a way to come back I would ′ I can hear the sadness laced in his voice shivers ran down my spine and it was wasn't a nice feeling.

He voice kept playing in my head and booming thru my ears like he was alive and conscious how was he speaking to me? like he was part of me like his soul was combined with me mine

But how was it possible I questioned my self

Setting aside my notebook I got up and headed to the bathroom

I splashed water on my face hoping and praying that what just happened wasn't real

looking up into the mirror I watching my reflection as my reflection stared back at me I noticed that my face has changed over the years

my eyes now turning completely gray with a swirl of crystal honey brown which was quite odd because both my parents had dark brown eyes

My face looked like it had lost weight

my eyelashes longer and yeah I was beautiful holding most of my mother's futures but it's like she copied and pasted herself self and now there is another one of her like I was her twin or something. Smiling in the warmth of the thought of it I opened the bathroom door to be faced with my brother he of course holds our father's figures...the same father I never met.

"Here, put your scarf on we need to go help mom out," he said giving me the toothiest smile he can

I knew there was no excuse for me not to go help my mother so I sighed and grabbed my scarf and rolled my eyes at my brother, no matter how much I loved him he could be very annoying and in the way at times.

I walked out to meet the front door, adjusting a scarf around my neck as I shrugged on my coat. Though I didn't need one, I knew my mother would huff and puff at me for not wearing a one so I complied; even though I knew I wasn't going to hear the end of it because I decided to leave the gloves inside very smart of me.

Opening the door, I was met with a blast of icy air that swirled in my lungs, stealing my heat as it rushed back out in vapor whenever I exhaled.

Groaning as the realization hits me this is gonna take forever.